Most Overrated Sex Acts

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9 Various Sex Acts That Are Praised for No Goddamn Reason

Most Overrated Sex Acts

9 Various Sex Acts That Are Praised for No Goddamn Reason

Sex is great, there’s no denying that. The arousal, the plateau, the climax — all great stuff. There’s the sweatiness, too, and what your hair looks like afterward. 

But despite all the wet and wonderful things in the wild and wacky world of sex, if we hold up for a moment and take a genuine, clear-eyed stare at it from a reasonable distance, it’s hard not to recognize that some consensual sex acts are, well, frankly overrated. 

Yes, there are lots of sex acts that have been skating by on the strength of “hot by association” for too long. These actions have somehow convinced people they’re sexy and fun, when really they’re boring, overly complicated, or just unrealistic and plain stupid. 

To bring those down a peg, here are the nine sex acts we’ve deemed the most overrated (and why we believe that). 

1. Reverse Cowgirl

The genius porn director who first concocted the Reverse Cowgirl position was either a maniac, a demon or both. 

Minus the presence of one or more cameras pointed at a couple, this is probably the least exciting, least logical sex position there is. How come, you ask? Well, a hypothetical third-person viewer can see the top partner totally naked and doesn’t have to look at the bottom partner at all. And yes, that’s totally great in straight porn for dudes who are concerned at seeing a man’s face while still erect, but you could replace the guy in a reverse cowgirl with a floor-mounted dildo and it would be more or less the same experience. 

2. Piledriver

Another porn-popularized sex position that’s dumber than the Reverse Cowgirl is the Piledriver. Who in the universe wants to be upside down while getting f*cked? The mind boggles. 

And besides the giant crick in the neck the receiver is going to get, the giver is going to have cramping thighs and calves in no time. Why not just invent a sex position where one of the participants is doing a wall sit, calling it “The Brutalizer” or something? Even sexier. 

3. Missionary

On the other end of the spectrum, there’s boring old Missionary. There are lots of fun variants of missionary, but if you’re just doing basic missionary by itself, you’re either in the process of losing your virginity, or you are literally a diagram of what sex looks like in a pretty chaste medical textbook. 

Missionary is wildly boring, and the fact that couples continue to use it past the first time is indicative of a wide-scale failure of sexual imagination on the part of the world’s population. 

4. 69ing

What’s fun about 69ing? It’s almost impossible to cum while simultaneously having enough self-possession to actively pleasure someone else.

If one of the people involved in a 69 orgasms, it’s almost certainly because they’ve stopped contributing and have just casually slipped into the role of pleasure-receiver — at which point it’s not a 69, it’s just upside-down oral mixed with lies. 

69ing is a great way to keep sex going for a bit longer when neither person wants to do anything hyper-energetic (or if neither person wants to cum but both people want to experience some pleasure), but let’s be real: That’s probably a pretty rare use case for most people.  

5. Tantric Sex

F*ck off, Sting. Some of us have to work day jobs. 

6. Any Kind of Water Sex

It’s totally fine if you’re into having sex in the water, but can we acknowledge for a second that water sex is almost always harder to pull off than sex should reasonably be? 

Whether it’s shower sex, bathtub sex, hot tub sex, swimming pool sex, ocean or lake sex (hopefully no one’s engaging in river or swamp sex), water sex is full of opportunities to slip on something, get water in your mouth and eyes, drown, or get bitten by something (and not in the good way). 

And that’s not even getting into the fact that water is an anti-lubricant, meaning all that wetness is going to make penetration harder, not easier. Yeesh. 

7. Sex on the Beach

You might think a good solution to the unpleasantness of water-based sex is to have sex on the beach. It’s such a cool concept there’s even a famous cocktail named after it! 

You’ve got the water nearby, you’ve got the open air, you’ve got … an infinite amount of sand getting into every nook and cranny of both of your private parts. You know what, on second thought, no beach sex. No beach sex, ever. 

8. Titty-F*cking

Where’s no actual scholarly research behind this statement, it’s not totally crazy to say that titty-f*cking was also invented by the porn industry. 

For starters, only a certain percentage of women can even achieve the requisite boob-closeness to make the friction necessary sexual pleasure possible. Secondly, the … exact center of someone’s sternum isn’t exactly pleasure location numero uno, meaning the penis-haver is getting a sort of 2/3 or 3/4 penetration experience, leaving the boob-haver with more or less nothing. 

If you like breasts so much, suck on them, lick them, squeeze them, gently (or not so gently) bite the nipples — don’t stick your dick in between them. 

9. Facials

How would you like it if sex always ended with someone squeezing a jet of warm, salty paste at your face? It’s like a fun game of sex Russian Roulette that might require an eye-wash station and/or a quick shower to get it out of your hair. Be a gentleman and cum somewhere else. 

The Difference Between Porn and Sex
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Source: AskMen

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