Who doesn’t want to fall in love all over again with the one who originally swept you away.
By Roland Legge — Last updated on Aug 26, 2023
Photo: reginafosterphotos | Canva
When it comes to relationships and falling in love, learning how to have a healthy relationship — whether you’re still dating or thinking of marriage with your long-term partner — is an important life skill men and women should master.
Healthy relationships are precious, like gold. They have the ability to turn your ordinary everyday life into something extraordinary, which is why learning how to have a healthy relationship is so important. In order to make them work, healthy relationships require both time and commitment.
Here are 11 things you can do to have a healthy relationship — and fall in love with your partner all over again.
1. Love yourself.
If you don’t feel good about yourself, you are going to struggle in your relationship. In order to fully love another person, you must love yourself first.
You can love yourself by getting enough sleep. You can love yourself by taking time for yourself. You can love yourself by spending time on activities that give you life. You can love yourself by being more forgiving of your own mistakes.
No matter which methods you choose, make loving yourself a priority.
2. Get your needs met.
You are the only person who can ensure that all your needs are met. So in order to do this, you first need to get clear about what you need in your life. Because your partner can only try to fulfill that need once they’re aware of it.
And, if your partner is not able to meet a particular need, explore which of your friends or family members can help. After all, no one person can fulfill all of your needs — not even the love of your life.
3. Become self-aware.
To have a healthy relationship with your partner, you first need to have a good relationship with yourself. When you pay attention to your body, heart, and head, your inner wisdom will help you better understand you how you need to live your life.
To help improve your self-awareness, begin a daily or weekly practice that will help you stay grounded and remain open to the wisdom of your body and emotions while quieting your mind. You might be surprised at what a big difference this can make in your life and relationships.
4. Eat at least one meal together daily.
A healthy habit to build into your relationship is to enjoy at least one meal a day with your partner. Carving out this time together will help you stay up-to-date on each other’s lives and give you a chance to reconnect, despite your busy schedules.
5. Build strong friendships outside of your relationship.
Even when you’re in a healthy relationship, you need friends and activities outside of it, so take the time to cultivate your own hobbies and social groups beyond your relationship. Not only does this offer you some much-needed time away from your partner, but it also helps you feel more fulfilled on a personal level.
6. Learn to communicate with your partner.
Communication is a critical element in healthy relationships; however, each of us communicates in different ways. That’s why you need to be able to express yourself clearly — without anger or resentment — and learn to read your partner’s body language, too.
To help make difficult conversations easier, sit down when you’re talking with each other, make direct eye contact, and take responsibility for what you’re saying by using “I” statements.
7. Don’t assume your partner can read your mind.
Whether you’ve been dating for 20 days or 20 years, it’s your job to let your partner know what you want in your relationship and what gestures make you feel special.
For example, if you’ve been hoping your boyfriend would surprise you with a home-cooked meal, leave him a not-so-subtle hint! Or if you feel hurt by something your wife said, let her know what’s bothering you in a constructive and caring way.
8. Plan quality time with your partner.
Good relationships require that you spend time together — quality time. So at least once a week, go out on a date, just the two of you, to enjoy each others’ company.
And when you can’t be together as much as you’d like, send little texts or photos throughout the day to let your partner know they’re on your mind.
9. Be real about money.
Relationships are healthy when you can talk openly about money. And if this sounds like a tricky topic to tackle, a good place to start is by discussing how your families dealt with money.
You can ask questions, like: Did you come from a family that focussed on saving or spending money? Did your family have enough money to live well, or was your family always short?
This can open up the door for how to talk about your financial goals and beliefs about money, such as: How will expenses be shared between you? Who is going to pay the bills? What are your spending priorities?
Once you have the big picture stuff out of the way, use your insights to create an agreed-upon budget. Then, find a way to keep track of your spending and check in on your financial habits regularly.
10. Respect each other’s physical needs.
You and your partner may very well have different physical needs — but this doesn’t have to harm your relationship. Instead, finding a way to honor each other’s needs can help bring you closer together and create the healthy relationship you want.
What’s important is that each of you takes full responsibility for getting your physical needs met. If you are not getting what you want, then you need to sit down with your partner and communicate what you need.
11. Honor your differences.
Both of you will see the world in different ways and have different priorities when it comes to your life and relationships. This is totally normal. After all, you cannot assume your partner wants to keep the closet organized in the exact same way you do.
So just because your partner doesn’t do something in the way you like, doesn’t mean he or she is trying to aggravate you. When you feel yourself getting upset over one of these differences, take a time out and ask yourself: “Will the world end if my partner does it his or her way?” Usually, the answer is no.
Building a healthy relationship is not rocket science, but it does take time, commitment, and the desire to encourage each other to be your best selves. There is no shortcut! Getting married and living happily ever after only happens when you are intentional about making it happen.
So, if you want to build a stronger and healthier relationship with your partner, try these 11 tips and start investing in your love.
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Roland Legge is an author, certified spiritual life coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values.
This article was originally published at REL Consultants (Roland Legge). Reprinted with permission from the author.