If you know his personality type, then you know how he;s going to flirt with you.
By Nicole Bradley-Bernard — Updated on Apr 24, 2023
Photo: YURII MASLAK/ Shutterstock
Figuring out if a guy likes you or not can be incredibly stressful. Everyone’s personality is a little bit different, so everyone is going to act a little differently when they’re interested in a relationship with you (or if they simply aren’t interested in you romantically at all).
But, the good news is that if you know his Myers-Briggs personality type — you can get a little bit of a cheat sheet about how to tell if a guy likes you.
Some guys can be incredibly direct, but other guys can be incredibly shy and hesitant to make that first move. Some guys (the worst type for this situation) can be a little hot and cold, making you feel like he’s into you one minute and as he views you like his sister the next (ugh. It just makes you want to grab him and yell “what do you want from me?!!”).
Even though there are some pretty universal signs when a guy is into you, everyone is going to act a little differently and flirt a little differently because, well, everyone is different! It’s like a relationship minefield!
Some guys make it feel downright impossible (and I’m very sorry about that), but more often than not, there are going to be little signs that he likes you — you just have to pay close attention.
If you’re having trouble reading his signals, find his Myers-Briggs personality type below and see how he is likely to act if he’s interested. At least this way, you’ll know.
Here is the unusual way he shows he likes you, based on his personality type:
1. The “Architect” (INTJ)
The INTJ’s frank nature can make it hard to tell if he likes you. On the contrary, it may make him come across as just socially awkward (bordering on rude). Being such a practical personality type, if he likes you he’s likely to ask a lot of frank questions that would hint at your compatibility. For example, inappropriate questions like “Do you want children?” “Do you want to get married?” “Are you fairly neat?” etc.
For the “architects,” the goal is a satisfying long-term relationship, so he’s going to want to know you two will be compatible long-term if he’s into you.
2. The “Logician” (INTP)
An INTP personality that likes you will blush when you give him compliments, feel a little shy around you, and give subtle little hints that he likes you in hopes that you’ll make the first move. His subtle little hints could be anything from light flirting (“Oh, you’re so cute.”) to moves to get closer to you (like sitting close to you at parties, friend requesting you on social media platforms, trying to make plans with you frequently, and always trying to touch you in some way).
3. The “Commander” (ENTJ)
The ENTJ’s tendency towards taking leading roles in relationships tends to mean that if he’s into you, he’s going to come right out and ask you out. He’s unlikely to beat around the bush, so to speak. Make it easy for him to get you alone and subtly flirt with him so he knows you’re likely to say “yes” if he asks you out on a date.
4. The “Debater” (ENTP)
Loving intellectual exploration, for an ENTP, it may be a sign that he likes you if he invites you to a lecture or seminar of some kind. While this may not seem like the most romantic setting to most, to the “debater,” inviting you to grow intellectually with him is a sure sign of affection (and possible intimacy *wink, wink*).
5. The “Advocate” (INFJ)
With an INFJ, you can’t rush things. They aren’t generally the type for casual encounters (or even casual relationships). For the “advocate” personality type, a relationship must have depth and meaning. He’s going to take a lot of time getting to know you before he decides if he wants a relationship with you.
So, a pretty clear sign that he’s into you (and testing your compatibility together before asking you out) is if he spends a lot of time talking to you and trying to engage you about serious topics. For example, the conversation will be less about small talk like the weather and “how your day was” and more about how work’s going, what your goals are, what you enjoy, etc.
6. The “Mediator” (INFP)
With INFPs, it can be hard to measure up as they have a lot of fantasy-like ideas about the “perfect relationship.” Since the “mediator” is always in search of their “soulmate,” it can be hard to measure up to the image they have in their mind of their “perfect mate.”
While they won’t rush commitment, if an INFP is into you, they are likely to be super romantic telling you how beautiful you are in creative ways (like describing you by comparing you to something beautiful in nature, perhaps).
7. The “Protagonist” (ENFJ)
With the ENFJ guys, you should be looking for him to be trying to take the lead romantically (since this tends to be where they thrive). Look for him to try getting you alone, ask questions about your common interests, etc. For the “protagonist” personality type, mutual enjoyment is crucial in relationships. So, he’s going to want to find a lot of things you have in common to plan the best date possible if he likes you.
8. The “Campaigner” (ENFP)
The ENFPs tend to not be too formal when it comes to dating. So, from the “campaigner” guy you’re into, look for him to ask you to go on “little adventures” (like hiking, mini road trips, trying new things together, etc.). Also, look for him to gradually become more affectionate with you (an increase in hugs, more touches on the shoulder, etc.) as this personality type enjoys showing lots of affection (especially at the beginning of a relationship).
9. The “Logistician” (ISTJ)
With an ISTJ, he’s likely to have issues expressing emotion. So, it may be confusing trying to tell if he likes you. Considering the “logistician’s” tendency towards valuing family values, if he likes you, he’s likely to try to get to know you to see how compatible you two would be long-term. TIP: “Logisticians” tend to believe in traditional gender roles so let him come to you.
10. The “Defender” (ISFJ)
The ISFJs tend to be incredibly shy, so it’s going to be a bit hard to tell when he likes you. However, he is going to want to get to know you super well so be looking for his attempts at trying to get to know you. The “defender” personality type tends to only take chances on relationships with a likelihood of lasting a lifetime.
11. The “Executive” (ESTJ)
The ESTJ personalities are likely to be relatively upfront about their feelings since they value honesty so much. Being honest and straightforward, he’s likely to just ask you out if he’s into you. Try to get him alone to give him opportunities to do so. If you continue to get him alone and he doesn’t make a move, that’s a clear indicator that he isn’t interested.
12. The “Consul” (ESFJ)
When an ESFJ is interested in you, he is likely to want to get to know you before making a move since he is likely to take relationships very seriously (since, for them, the ultimate goal of a relationship is marriage and family). Once he’s ready, however, he is likely to begin flirting (perhaps even quite heavily). TIP: The “consul” personality type appreciates the unwritten “rules” of dating, which means that he is likely to assume that the man is expected to ask the woman out on the first date.
13. The “Virtuoso” (ISTP)
Tending to always be living in the moment, ISTPs can be a bit “hot” and “cold” (i.e. hard to read). The only real indicator you’ll get regarding whether he likes you is that he’ll try to include you in his spontaneous activities. WARNING: don’t try to over-schedule with him right away or he’s likely to get spooked.
14. The “Adventurer” (ISFP)
Reading an ISFP can be a bit challenging as they tend to listen instead of talk and keep their emotions to themselves until they are close to you. However, having an emotional side will eventually give them away. If he’s into you, you might catch him staring at you while you’re talking as if he’s hanging onto every word.
15. The “Entrepreneur” (ESTP)
The ESTPs tend to have a wide range of hobbies and a wide range of fun activities that they enjoy partaking in. A clear sign that he’s into you is if he invites you to go with him when he’s enjoying these activities.
16. The “Entertainer” (ESFP)
Being such a spontaneous personality type, ESFPs are likely to be quite clear about their intentions by flirting quite heavily and invites to do fun things (like going to a carnival, going dancing, going hiking, etc.). They tend to be a free-spirited personality type so be ready for a bit of “hot and cold.”
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Nicole Bradley-Bernard is a writer with a Bachelor’s degree in Professional and Creative Writing. She works as a freelance writer for FINE Magazine and GreekRank.