How do you deserve to be loved?
By Sloane Solomon — Last updated on Oct 19, 2023
Photo: svetikd | Getty Images Signature
We all have a “type” when it comes to relationships. It may seem cliche, but we are usually attracted to a certain type of person.
However, relationships are a lot more complicated than just having a type and they only get more confusing as we get older. The problem is that we don’t always know what we really need in a relationship and even more importantly, what we deserve.
This is where the five love languages come into the equation. Dr. Gary Chapman’s self-help book on relationships is a great tool to use to help us figure out what our love language is and what we need out of a relationship, based on our specific love language.
Here’s the type of guy you deserve, based on your love language:
1. Quality time
The most important thing for you in a relationship is to have someone who will give you their undivided attention. You realize how precious time is and committing some time each day to your significant other is crucial to you.
The type of guy you deserve: You need a man who’s willing and happy to invest in quality time with you. This means having no distractions — at all. In other words, a partner whose idea of good quality time together is a night of Netflix binging on the couch while checking Instagram and Facebook every five minutes is not the guy for you. In your alone time together, all of your attention must be on each other. A man whose focus is completely on you during this quality time is exactly what you need. He’s committed to setting aside this time just for you and knows that the perfect idea of a date night for you means switching to airplane mode for the evening.
2. Physical touch
If you fall under this love language, we probably don’t need to spell out for you what you like in a relationship. But the kind of guy you really need is another story.
The type of guy you deserve: For starters, a man who isn’t afraid to participate in some PDA. We don’t mean that you have to go full-on makeout session at your table in the restaurant during a date, but a guy who isn’t afraid to show his affection towards you, even in public, is ideal.
You deserve a guy who will give you the physical kind of love you need to feel appreciated. This includes holding hands, cuddling, and maybe an intimate massage every now and then. Nothing is more comforting to you than having a guy who values the romantic power of a simple touch.
3. Acts of service
You live and breathe by the mantra “actions speak louder than words” when it comes to relationships — and you need a partner who does, too.
The type of guy you deserve: You care much more about having a guy who shows their love to you rather than says it. You deserve a partner who’s going to help you out in your daily life. Performing what may seem to others like simple actions such as making dinner, running an errand for you, and cleaning up the house are actually huge to you and make a big impact on your life and your relationship. A man who does these little “acts of service” for you and is positive about doing them is showing his love and investment in your relationship. He’s a keeper.
Although this love language’s preferable method of showing love is to get a gift, it’s essentially the thought that counts here.
The type of guy you deserve: A guy who will not just give you any gift, but a gift that shows he put thought into it is what you deserve. It doesn’t matter what the gift costs. What matters is that the gift, as well as the entire act of giving it, was planned out specifically with you in mind. Even a small gift like bringing home your absolute favorite kind of ice cream from the grocery store indicates how well your partner understands your love language.
5. Words of affirmation
Nothing is more romantic to you than hearing your partner verbally confirm their love for you.
The type of guy you deserve: He doesn’t need to go all Romeo and Juliet style professions of love (although you certainly wouldn’t mind a nice love poem read to you once in a while), but verbal compliments like “That dress is lovely on you!” or “I love how you always manage to make me laugh, no matter how down I feel,” are what you need to hear to know how much your partner appreciates you. And guys, don’t worry if your lady falls under this love language and you don’t exactly have a way with words. Even a simple phrase like “I love you” is sure to brighten her day and make her feel loved and treasured.
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Sloane Solomon is a professional writer, editor, and former contributor to YourTango. She has had her work published on Yahoo, MSN, and other outlets.