Here’s what not to do when trying to seduce.
By The Romance Code — Last updated on Aug 06, 2023
Photo: SmartPhotoLab | Shutterstock
Many single women often find themselves looking at their date and wondering how to make him fall in love. They read magazine articles, solicit friends for advice, and even engage in trial and error, trying one thing one minute and moving on to another the next.
But, when you get down to trying to get down, all you really need to know in order to learn how to make him fall in love doesn’t really involve what to do; rather, it’s knowing what not to do.
Some things are obvious: don’t boil his pet rabbit; don’t call his mother and talk to her about your dating life (or lack thereof); and don’t accuse him of sleeping with the barrister at the local coffee shop simply because he smiled at her.
Still, some things might not be quite as obvious (or certifiably — as all the kids are saying — cray-cray). Some errors that you’re committing may be errors you don’t even realize are bad.
So, as you learn how to make him fall in love, remember to refrain from doing the following four deadly sins of seduction.
Here are the 4 deadly sins of seduction:
1. Communicating constantly
As pretty much anyone who knows anything about relationships will tell you, communication — when it comes to relationships — is key. However, communicating doesn’t need to be constant, at least not in the form of text messages and phone calls.
Contacting him constantly — hi, just wanted to see what you’re up to; hey, just wanted to make sure you got my message; hi again, my phone’s acting funny — just making sure you didn’t call! — shows him that you’re needy. And guys tend to run away from Stage Five Clingers as quickly as they can.
2. Trying to change him
One of the most important factors in learning how to make a man fall in love involves letting go of the need to evoke change.
Some women end up dating guys who are less than wonderful — they’re bad boys if you will — but these women stick it out because they believe they can change his evil (or just ornery) ways. Yet, going into a relationship with the intent to instill change backfires for two reasons: you can’t change another person, and trying to will almost always cause resentment.
3. Trying to keep him from his friends and hobbies
Another common mistake women make — especially when relationships are in their initial stages — is keeping their mate away from his friends and the hobbies he loves. Some women erroneously view hobbies and social relationships as threats, concluding that if a guy chooses to go out with friends instead of staying at home with his partner, he likes his friends more.
But, in actuality, friends and interests allow a man (and a woman) to blow off steam, satisfy needs, kick back and relax, and pursue passions. Taking this away from anyone isn’t conducive to a relationship; on the flip side, it’s entirely detrimental.
4. Jumping to conclusions
It may seem very Brady Bunchesque to say that to assume means to make a jerk out of you and me, but it’s also true: when you jump to conclusions, you increase your odds of making accusations, overreacting, and saying things you can’t take back. You also increase the odds of jumping to a conclusion that is entirely wrong.
So, if you find yourself assuming something about your mate — that he’s dating other people; that he’s not over his ex; that he’s only keeping you around until something better comes along — you’re much better off talking to him about your fears than letting them build up in your mind. Doing the latter risks turning a pile of dirt into Mount Everest.
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The Romance Code is a relationship coach who shows people how to navigate the ups and downs of love.