If you’re too shy to ask a guy how he feels about you, then look for these signs.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Updated on Apr 13, 2023
Photo: Nedrofly / Shutterstock
Guys can be a confusing mix.
On one hand, love stories and songs definitely suggest that they can be the most upfront human beings in the world when it comes to their desire for a girl to like them.
But, on the other hand, men also have the magical ability to play awful mind games that make us wonder if we’re going crazy when we talk to them.
Even if you already know how to tell if a guy likes you and is totally sure he’s crazy about you, there’s never such a thing as being too sure.
The following can give you some insight on how to tell where you stand with him and if he’s the real deal.
Here are 9 subtle ways to see how a man really feels about you:
1. Scope out how much he flaunts you
One thing that often separates the guys who are serious from the guys who are just looking for a fling or a side piece is how they behave around others when you’re with them. A guy who isn’t serious about you or isn’t sure about you won’t be going around introducing you to his friends and families.
A guy who’s looking for side action might not even go out in public with you, and if he does, he might say that you’re “a good friend.” Men who are seriously looking for a relationship will make a point to introduce you to friends, family, and more — as the girlfriend.
2. Check to see how much he pursues exclusivity with you
Men who aren’t serious about you or want to keep you on the down low will not care about locking you down as a girlfriend or wife. If you notice that he’s making a point to discuss commitment and take you out on “date-dates,” then it’s a good sign in your favor… as long as he’s not taken.
3. Look to see if he bails when things become bad or inconvenient
A man who is legitimately interested in a woman won’t do this.
4. Take a look at when he wants to meet up with you
Generally speaking, men who want something more serious will choose to meet up with you on a weekend, assuming they aren’t working. If he’s constantly booking dates within hours of the date time or only calling you late at night, then he’s not serious about you, nor will he probably ever be.
5. Count how many times he asks about your opinion on something, or counts you in future plans
Men who are really interested in you will make a point to include you in their plans or will want to know what your thoughts are on everything. No questions mean that they don’t actually want to take time to know you, and therefore aren’t totally serious about you.
6. Take a very honest look at how respectful he is, and don’t excuse any of it away
This is a great indicator of how to tell where you stand with him. Most men these days just aren’t respectful, and frankly, that’s a shame. However, just because most men aren’t respectful doesn’t mean that you should give them a pass or lower your standards. Men who are a) worth a damn and b) interested in you will be respectful towards you and genuinely nice to you, too.
7. Look at how open his schedule is for time with you
It doesn’t matter if a man is Jay-Z or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. If he is interested in a girl, he will make time for that girl even if it kills him. If you constantly find yourself being cloistered to awkward times throughout the day, constantly being asked to do last-second dates, or worse, having to hound him for time, then he’s not interested in you or losing interest.
8. Ask yourself if he’s spending money or doing major favors for you
Men, much like women, don’t want to waste time, money, or effort on people they don’t feel are worth it. If he’s always willing to do something for you, he clearly feels it’s worth it to do so. As a good rule of thumb, the more he’s willing to go out of his way for you, the more likely it is that he’s seriously smitten.
9. Ask yourself, honestly, if he really wants to be with you
More often than not, we know the real answer to this in our gut. A lot of people tend to date those who they basically have to “sell” on dating them. If you have to “hard sell” the guy into hanging out with you, flaunting you, committing to you, or anything similar, he’s not into you. It’s best you try to look for someone who is and to drop him like a rock.
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.