Try These Tips and Techniques to Prolong Oral Sex
Try These Tips and Techniques to Prolong Oral Sex
It’s no new news that oral sex feels amazing. There’s something inherently sexy about feeling and seeing your partner pleasure you with their mouth.
Oral sex can be an extremely intimate experience between two partners — one that you’d ideally like to last long enough to really enjoy it. However, delaying orgasm during a blowjob can be tricky.
The excitement and sensations can be overpowering and quickly push you to the edge. Before you know it, you’re at the point of no return.
Read on to learn more about why it’s hard to last during oral and what you and your partner can do to have longer, more fulfilling oral sex.
Why Do Some Guys Cum Quickly From Oral?
If you’ve found yourself wishing you could last longer during oral, you’re in good company.
“Roughly 30% of men say they are unsatisfied with their ability to control orgasm,” says Dr. Lee Phillips, psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist.
Phillips explains that many men are under the impression that they are in the minority when it comes to not being able to last long. However, it’s a common occurrence.
If you’ve finished earlier than you’d like in past oral sex experiences, Dr. Jenni Skyler, LMFT, certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com, says anxiety about it happening again can actually work against you. “The anxiety becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and a negative feedback loop,” she explains.
These feelings can also take away from the experience. “Often the focus becomes, ‘Am I going to last?'” says Phillips. “There is a change of awareness from enjoyment and pleasure to one of business and performance, where one will be judged and criticized.”
Tips for Lasting Longer During Oral Sex
Prolonging oral sex isn’t just about the physical. Here are a few ways to master the art of lasting longer and why they work.
1. Stay Centered and Breathe
Easier said than done, right? But as Skyler explains, keeping your nervous system under control during oral is key to having a longer session.
“If you are anxious, then blood flow goes to your essential organs and abandons your penis, which makes it harder to slow down and get centered,” she says.
If you find yourself feeling anxious, Skyler recommends taking long, deep exhales to get your heart rate under control.
2. Don’t Put Pressure on Yourself
Your goal can still be to last longer. But as Skyler explains, putting yourself under pressure to prolong oral sex can end up backfiring. If you’re spending the entire experience anxious about finishing too early, it becomes a self-sabotaging prophecy.
“We need to flip our script out for one that focuses on pleasure, allowing yourself the permission to last however long — without the need for perfectionism, embarrassment and shame,” says Skyler.
Getting in your head while getting head can be a hard habit to break. Do your best to shift focus to enjoying the act instead of how long it may or may not last.
3. Communicate With Your Partner
Let your partner in on your goal of lasting longer, and communicate with them during the act so that they can adjust accordingly.
“Talking with your partner about your worries and learning something about your partner’s wishes and worries will lessen the pressure you feel around control,” says Phillips.
Tell your partner to slow down or stop when you feel yourself getting close.
“Think about the cliff of orgasm, and then think, ‘How can I slow this down a few steps ahead of that cliff?’” Skyler suggests.
This may mean pausing during the act to breathe and reset or shifting focus to pleasuring your partner instead until you’re ready to re-engage.
4. Switch Things Up
Oral sex often acts as foreplay — but switching things up and going back to the act later can help keep an orgasm at bay. If you feel yourself getting close, try doing something else for a little while.
“Switching positions, slowing down, stopping, and engaging in another activity, like kissing, can always slow the process,” explains Skyler. “This is because there is less attention on the arousal building, it gives you a break to recalibrate and decrease the arousal.”
If you don’t want to switch from oral but do want it to last longer, try 69ing with your partner. Giving your mind the added challenge of pleasing your partner while you’re being pleasured can be an effective mind trick for delaying orgasm.
5. Learn Your Limits
Understanding the feelings that signal you’re close to orgasm can be hard to learn in the moment with your partner.
Phillips recommends masturbating to understand these sensations, then, as you get closer, stopping before you orgasm a few times in order to learn how to do so.
When you feel that you’re close, Phillips says to stop masturbating and squeeze your penis firmly between your thumb and forefinger, either at the base (front to back) or at the junction of the shaft and the head until the feeling subsides. Wait one minute, then repeat the process a few more times as practice.
Ultimately, cumming quickly isn’t the end of the world, particularly when it’s oral sex. Your partner may take it as a compliment, for one; for two, they won’t get tired of going down on you. So long as you don’t pass out immediately after — for instance, if you then offer to go down on them, that might feel like a happy ending for all parties involved.
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