He wants to date you if he acts like this around you.
By Alex Alexander
Last updated on Sep 29, 2023
Photo: Bilanol, Scopio | Canva
I’m often asked for some suggestions for places to meet men, but if you’re looking for a keeper, the first thing you need to know is how to tell if a guy likes you and is interested in a serious way.
Let’s say you took a Thai cooking class, ignored the hottest guy there (who all the other women flirted with), and went for second-hottest (who also had a really nice scarf and Love in the Time of Cholera in his bag). The two of you looked over the course listings and decided to take another class together the next week and get a drink afterward.
Now it’s been three weeks. You’ve been on four dates. He’s cooked you dinner. You charmed his dog. He took you for sushi. You spent the night at his place. He emailed you at work. You called to say hi. He called you to say hi back.
You think you really like him. But you can’t help but wonder, “Does he like me, too?”
You honestly have no idea.
Most people know the anxiety of early relationships all too well. Your hope has sprung anew, but you’re not sure if he’s feeling the same. Is he daydreaming about you, too? You don’t know, but you can’t stop yourself from coming up with baby names (even though you do know it’s way too early for that).
Sure, you can read He’s Just Not That Into You, but how do you know when he is into you?
The sad answer is that you can’t know for sure; people change, the novelty wears off, and love ebbs and flows (or at least reconfigures).
But there are some signs and indicators many women underestimate.
Is he appreciative? Can you tell that he’s psyched to be with you? Even if he doesn’t say so, does he show you in some other way?
If you’re still wondering and want to know (pretty much) for sure how to tell if a guy likes you, here are 5 signs he appreciates you and is taking your relationship seriously.
Here are 5 signs a guy is really, really into you, as told by a man:
1. He’s excited to make plans with you
He carves time out of his schedule for you.
Maybe he even schedules the next date with you before you walk out the door in the morning.
2. He responds to your texts and calls
And not only by text but even when you call! Or he reaches out himself and tries to get in touch with you first.
Either way, it’s a good sign.
3. He wants you to meet his friends
And he’s also really excited to meet yours.
4. He pays attention to you
How many times did he have to ask if you take milk with your coffee?
Only once? Great!
5. You can see it in his eyes
He lights up when you come in. You just make him smile.
Now, there’s a caveat to all of this …
Some women get freaked out when a guy shows a lot of interest. Of course, no one wants (or should date) a wet blanket, but too many women seem to feel that if a guy is really enthusiastic about being with them, he’s probably a loser or in some way undeserving.
It’s probably not a good sign if he says, “I’ve never dated anyone remotely close to how beautiful you are.”
But if he says, “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world to me,” you should really consider giving him a chance.
If you’re the kind of woman who responds better when guys act like jerks, guess what? You’re going to keep dating jerks until you choose to change that.
It’s time to train yourself to look for a guy who appreciates you and not hold it against him when he actually does.
It’s easy to hold onto psychologically deep-seated fears that you aren’t worthy of affection, so when someone cares for you push them away. And as long as you do that, the only guys you’ll ever want won’t really want you back … and you can see where that’s headed.
Remind yourself that you are worth it (because you are!), that you deserve to feel loved (because you do!), and then look for a guy who shows you that kind of affection. They are out there, trust me.
Don’t just let man care for you — insist that he does.
Otherwise, throw him back; he’s no keeper.
More for You:
Zodiac Signs That Are Terrible At Relationships (And Why)20 Little Things Women Do That Guys *Secretly* LoveThe Perfect Age To Get Married, According To Science5 Little Ways Men Wish They Could Be Loved — Every Single Day
Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.