Here are the fashion hacks that will get you any man.
By Melissa Noble — Last updated on Jun 23, 2023
Photo: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
As impressionable young girls brainwashed by images of Pam Anderson (and slack-jawed by her effect on men), many of us (foolishly) employed questionable clothing in the name of male approval. Got breasts?
Let ’em pop, baby. Dress? Hike that hemline so high that sitting doubles as a gyno appointment. No bra, no problem. Too tight? Nay. Not tight enough.
We were right, of course. Many a man’s eye got a free all-day pass at our (practically) naked bodies. But oh how angry had we known an outfit out of Pam from The Office’s closet would’ve made the same impression! If not more of one!
We sat down with some trusted male friends to find out what they think about what we wear. We expected to walk away disgruntled, disillusioned, and insecure about our closets, yet it turned out the exact reverse was true.
Here are 5 little fashion hacks that’ll get you any guy, according to men:
1. Cleavage is overrated
It’s no secret men love breasts. If you happen to rock an enviable chest, trust us, he’s noticed. That said, it was unanimous that shirts providing over-the-top cleavage are unnecessary. In fact, all men surveyed found it tawdry and even a bit showboat-y. One guy compared a large-breasted lady showing too much of the goods to a built guy at the gym who can’t stop staring at his own biceps. As he said: “Get over yourself, sista.”
2. Turtlenecks aren’t a crowd favorite
But not for the reasons you’d expect. As per #1, it isn’t as if most grown men are that desperate for a peek at The Girls, but rather he misses seeing your neck. Oh, the gurgling praise for the collarbone! One guy even said it was one of the sexiest parts of the female body. Wow. You think you know a gender!
3. Long, flowy dresses are just as sexy as short ones
A loose-fitting sundress seems to get an across-the-board thumbs-up. As opposed to a figure-hugging cocktail dress with miles of leg (which they don’t hate, of course), something longer and bit billowy offers a little tease and mystery.
Give ’em just a hint of what you’re packing underneath. As one man said, it’s sometimes more erotic to catch just a faint glimpse at the curve of your backside, rather than see the whole thing. However, shapeless sack dresses — you know, the pillow case look — are worthless. The men found them vile. Give the guy something to work with.
4. Flip-flops and sandals rock
He wants to see your feet. He likes your small, feminine toes.
Flips-flops and low-maintenance sandals are just as sexy as stilettos. Of course, we’re thrilled to learn this—Lord knows a pair of $3.99 thongs are more economical (and comfortable!) than those vintage platforms we tromp around in every Saturday night. Amen.
5. Anything exuding comfort is H-O-T
While we envy the Victoria Beckhams of the world who glide through life in clothing out of an ultra-chic Science Fiction novel, guys aren’t afraid to slum it in Old Navy shorts, and you shouldn’t be either. You’re sexier in a concert T-shirt and jeans — if you exude confidence — than in a Chanel jumpsuit off the Paris runways, if you aren’t 100% sure it flatters you.
Keep in mind: this isn’t a row of Anna Wintour-trained stylists or the judging panel of America’s Next Top Model you’re trying to impress. “At the end of the day,” one said. “If she looks confident and can rock it. I’m not complaining.”
Wise words, wise words. But we still think you should cool it with the cleavage.
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Melissa Noble is a freelance writer and blogger who writes about love, relationships, and trending news stories.