Get Out of Your Masturbatory Rut With These “Handy” Tricks
Get Out of Your Masturbatory Rut With These “Handy” Tricks
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Let’s get this out of the way at the very start: most people masturbate, and for most of those people, most of the time, it’s a perfectly healthy and pleasurable activity.
Don’t believe that it’s a very common pastime? Well, some studies suggest that as many as 98 percent of people masturbate at least once in their lives, and many people masturbate significantly more than just once, with a significant chunk of the population admitting to doing it at least once a week.
That’s a far cry from the perception that it’s a mere sexual thrill or naughty secret pleasure. In fact, most people typically begin masturbating around the onset of puberty and in their teen years, although it’s not uncommon for some people to masturbate in some form or other as a child; others, however, may not start until they reach adulthood, and some people never masturbate at all.
If you do masturbate, it’s possible that over the years, you’ve picked out a tried-and-true favorite masturbation technique that you use when you’re touching yourself. Maybe you learned a specific method when you were younger, either from your own trial and error or from another source.
But just like partnered sex positions, masturbation can benefit from some variety. It can be fun and even exciting to try masturbating differently than you usually do — that way, you can see how much you enjoy those new styles, and maybe even adopt one as a new go-to technique.
Regardless, read on to discover a litany of masturbation techniques, gadgets to help you out, and benefits to the practice. You’re sure to find something you like.
What Is Male Masturbation?
What Are the Best Male Masturbation Techniques?
Take It Slower
Try the Stop-Start Technique
Focus On Your Testicles
The Hand Screw
Focus on the Journey
What Are the Best Male Masturbation Toys?
Benefits of Masturbation
It Improves Communication
It Boosts Self-Esteem
It Helps You Relax
It Combats Erectile Dysfunction
It’s Good for Your Health
How Does Masturbation Change With Age?
What Is Male Masturbation?
You might need a small refresher on what parts of your anatomy you’re engaging when you are masturbating.
“Male masturbation is the act of a male sexually self-pleasuring himself by stimulating or touching his penis and sometimes his testicles, nipples and other erogenous zones on his body, usually to the point of orgasm or ejaculation, for the purpose of sexual pleasure,” says sexuality educator and counselor Kelly J. Connell.
While many guys masturbate using an up-and-down stroking motion along the length of the shaft, that’s far from the only way to masturbate, and depending on whether you’re circumcised or not, you may have different preferred techniques.
Male masturbation, while usually a solo performance done in private, can also be used as part of intercourse with a partner. When done successfully, you’ll both experience a new set of sensations.
“Sexual stimulation to one’s own body is usually in the absence of others,” notes sexologist and sexuality educator Lisa Hochberger. “While it is often a solitary act, it has the power to influence intimacy with others.”
More than anything else, masturbation is an effective tool to help you deal with anxieties, build up your endurance and performance, help you understand your own body and your preferences, and keep you healthy and sexually happy. While you might not want to overdo it, experts agree there are many benefits to masturbating regularly.
Masturbation Techniques You’ll Want to Try
Here are the masturbation tips experts recommend, and the techniques that will turn your normal whip-it-out-and-get-it-done attitude into a pleasurable, hot and steamy act:
Try Taking It Slower
When you want to relieve stress ASAP, you might rush through masturbating as a way to get it finished and move on to your never-ending to-do list. According to Connell, that way of thinking can often extend to the bedroom with your partner, and you’re not allowing yourself to truly feel each and every sensation of the movement and experience.
“Men need to slow it down,” she says. “Often men masturbate at what seems like the speed of light to get to the end result, ejaculation. It is a means to an end. However, they are actually training their bodies to react to sexual stimulation very quickly and this contributes to premature ejaculation. They do not take the time to explore their bodies, be mindful of the moment and what they are feeling at the time. Do not rush your orgasm but really pay attention to how your body is responding.”
The Stop-and-Start Technique
Just like the name suggests, perfecting your ability to keep going even when you are not thrusting or touching will benefit way past your solo act of masturbation. As Connell notes, usually during intercourse, there are moments when you are not moving, pleasuring someone else instead.The stop-and-start method, also called “edging,” will help you adjust and prolong the pleasure.
“This technique has been used by men to overcome premature ejaculation, but it can also be used by anyone who wants to learn better ejaculatory control,” she notes. “Just like the name says, you start and stop. Start masturbating until you get a certain level or arousal and then stop. Wait a couple minutes and start again and go farther in your arousal and then stop. Continue to do this and go farther into your arousal toward orgasm each time. Stop and let your body regress a bit.”
Connell adds, “The idea is to prolong the occurrence of what is known as the feeling of inevitability, which is when a man can feel all the semen moving though his genitals and knows he is going to ejaculate and there is nothing he can do to stop it. The longer you can put this off, the longer you will keep your erection. The better you learn to be in tune with your body, the better able you will be to read the signals that your body is sending you about your level of arousal and how close you are getting to ejaculation.”
If you can learn to stop when inside a toy, you’ll have an easier time exercising control when you’re inside your partner.
Focus on Your Testicles
The most neglected part of the male anatomy? Those balls that produce the whole shebang. Connell suggests giving them the love and attention they deserve. Finger them, fondle them, rub them. This will not only help you to have a really great orgasm, but make you more comfortable when your partner is touching them with their hands, mouth, or both.
“A lot of men forget to involve the testicles during masturbation, but touching them at the same time as the penis during masturbation can be very pleasurable,” she explains.
The Hand Screw
While standing, twist your lubed-up hand (whichever you’re most comfortable using) so that your thumb is against your belly button. Wrap your hand around your penis, and rather than stroke with your hand, move your pelvis to pump in and out of your hand.
This masturbation technique functions as a cheap and simple way to approximate the feeling of a real orifice. If you’re really determined to find that feeling when you masturbate, there are certain male sex toys, such as Fleshlights, that will do the trick much more efficiently.
Play With Your Frenulum
The “frenulum” is the fancy name for the small piece of skin connecting your foreskin (if you still have it) to your penis glans, and it happens to be extremely sensitive. Using the tips of your fingers, gently massage this area, or pull the skin off the shaft of your penis (again, gently!). The key to enjoying this technique is patience, since it will take some time for you to reach orgasm and rushing things can backfire, big time.
Experience the Journey, Not the Destination
You do not want to rush through masturbation. Hochberg encourages men to really, thoroughly consider all of the feelings they have during the process. From how your hand feels, to how fast you want to go and everything in between — take a breather to enjoy everything.
“Use masturbation as a way to become more in touch with your sensations,” she says. “Next time you are masturbating, notice what you are doing physically and learn how certain actions increase and decrease arousal. Instead of letting your mind wander, stay focused on what your body is feeling. What is going on when your body is about to have an ejaculatory orgasm?”
Best Masturbation Toys to Try
As much as you enjoy taking time to whip it out and get it done on your own, there are many ways that masturbation can be improved upon when you introduce a toy into the mix.
While you might traditionally consider sex toys to be more of a girl’s game, there are several items you can invest in that will help make masturbation a more intense experience for you, with or without your partner.
If you’re particularly adventurous, you might even use these toys to give anal masturbation a try. Here, experts recommend the best:
Best Lube for Masturbation
Before getting into any type of toy play, you should know this: If you want the best masturbation experience, you have to use some form of lubrication. Water-based lubes work the very best to prevent infections, irritation and give you the most slip-and-slide for your buck. In many drugstores, you’ll find lubes like Astroglide or Sliquid H20, both of which are highly recommended by leading sex experts and educators.
Astroglide Lubricant, $8.98 at Amazon.com
Use a Cock Ring
If you’ve never used a cock ring before, it might feel a bit intimidating.
Before you freak out and refuse to give it a whirl, consider the multiple benefits: It can help you have multiple orgasms or repeat performances, if it vibrates, it can also stimulate the feeling of penetrating an orifice, and it helps you stay rock hard and prolong sexual intercourse.
“You can use a cock ring when you are soft or erect,” explains Hochberger. “This can be helpful to use after ejaculation when you want to keep going but your body is saying, ‘not yet!’ A cock ring is a flexible strap that can be secured around the base of the penis. It works by allowing blood flow into the penis, but not out. Do not leave it on for more than 30 minutes! But there is lots you can do in that time.”
To get you started, try something simple such as a Trojan Cock Ring. You can pick it up when you restock condoms and playfully ask your partner to try it out while you’re making sweet, sweet love.
Trojan Vibrations Hot Spot Vibrating Ring, $7.99 at Walmart.com
If you like it, you can then opt for something a bit more expensive. This one from LoveHoney has several different speeds, a remote control, and ribs to add extra intensity.
Rabbit Rocker Remote Control Vibrating Cock Ring, $49.99 at Lovehoney.com
Invest in a Fleshlight
Ever heard of a Fleshlight? If not, it’s about time you were introduced.
“Toys are not just for women, men can and should use them too! The Fleshlight is one of the most requested toys from men,” says Hochberger. “Some men use it inside its shell and other take the sleeve out and use it as a masturbation sleeve. To maximize pleasure, use water-based lube. Using the Fleshlight is very helpful for men who have problems with dexterity.”
On top of that, because of how anatomically correct they are, Fleshlight use can teach you how to stimulate a clitoris while you’re having sex.
So what should you look for in a Fleshlight? Well, it’s really up for whatever experience you’re going for: Do you want to simulate a mouth? A vagina? A butt? There really is a Fleshlight for every fantasy that you crave and all the sensations you want to stimulate. This 9-inch option is a good place to start.
Riley Reid Fleshlight, $79.95 at Fleshlight.com
Try a Masturbator
Made from sleek silicone, this male masturbator is set to provide mind-blowing pleasure. Not only does it warm up to 40C/104F, creating a lifelike warm sensation, but it features six different vibration settings — each with three intensity levels — so you can ensure you get the experience you desire every time. Compact in size, it can easily be taken along on travels and charges via USB.
Blowmotion Warming Rechargeable Vibrating Male Masturbator, $89.99 at Lovehoney.com
Prepare to unleash your prepubescent teen who never experienced oral sex because this would have solved all of your issues back then. Built to simulate a blow job (hence the name), this big daddy of sleeves positions itself on your penis and moves in a way that might remind you of suction. When used with lube, this can be a truly one-of-a-kind experience that’s worth the price tag.
AutoBlow 2, $129.95 at AutoBlow.com
Get a Vibrator
When looking for a male vibrator, you want to keep a few things in mind: Make sure it comes from a reputable company and that you’re comfortable with the size, depending on what you’re using it for. An introductory kit gives you all sorts of options, all for a bargain price. While you might start with letting the toys vibrate against your member, you could end up exploring your male G-spot, located in your prostate, that will help you reach an even higher orgasm.
Intro to Prostate Kit, $39.95 at AdamEve.com
What Are the Benefits of Male Masturbation?
Apart from the obvious benefit of masturbating (orgasm for the win!), there are many physical, psychological and personal betterments from taking care of yourself in that way.
In fact, to overcome many sexual issues or to work on things you’re struggling with, there are so many benefits of masturbation that extend beyond the orgasm. It’s important to consider a few different scenarios in which masturbating has an overall positive effect on your life.
It Can Help Communication With Your Partner
When you are in the throes of passion, you might struggle with explaining exactly what you need from your partner to make sure you reach your final erotic destination. You want them to do this thing with their mouth, but if they’re not getting it, how do you dictate your desire in an effective way?
That’s where masturbation serves as a relationship coach to improve those communication skills.
“Despite what many think, beyond just being an act where males stroke their genitals, every person has erogenous zones that feel good when rubbed and caressed,” explains Hochberger. “When a person is more aware of what parts of their body feel good when touched, they are more easily able to communicate this to their partner. In this way masturbation helps with intimacy.”
It Can Strengthen Your Self-Esteem
No matter how often you work out, how many times you choose a lean protein and leafy veggies over a burger and fries, or how often you’re told how studly you are, it is normal (and human!) to have some body insecurities. Whether you wish your lower belly was a tad less flabby or you do not think your arms are bulky enough, whatever you struggle with in terms of body image might seem that much more intense when you are having sex. Guess what? Masturbation can help with that!
“Masturbation can help people become more in touch with their bodies,” notes Hochberger. “When you are able to connect your mind with your body, it helps you to feel and experience pleasure in a more powerful way. When you connect the power of pleasure to your body, it helps people see their body in a more positive way.”
It Helps You Relax
When you are stressed, feeling anxious, can’t fall asleep no matter how hard you try or all of the above, masturbation provides those feel-good, relaxing natural chemicals that help you chill the hell out. “Masturbation relieves stress, improves sleep and improves mood as endorphins such as dopamine and oxytocin are released into the bloodstream at orgasm in a big blast, leaving the person feeling relaxed and happy,” says Connell.
It Helps Fix Erectile Dysfunction Issues
If you struggle with rising to the occasion or keeping your hardness throughout the act, you might be self-conscious about your performance. While some men will experience a sort of erectile dysfunction that may or may not require medical attention and a prescription, other times, masturbation might be a quick fix to the problem, especially if you are finishing way before you partner has had a chance to get warmed up properly.
“For men who are experiencing premature ejaculation, masturbation can be used to help,” explains Hochberger. “Many therapists recommend strengthening their PC muscles using Kegel exercises and then practicing masturbation. Other techniques like training the mind to connect with the body during masturbation can help men who are ‘too in their head’ when they are with their partner. The mind/body connection is so important for people during sexual experiences.”
It Keeps You Healthy for the Long Term
A healthy, robust sex drive is not just fun for your partner who reaps the rewards, but the extra attention you give to masturbating and staying sexually fit can provide long-term healthy benefits for you, too. It’s good for your heart, good for your libido and, well, kind of an arm workout if you think about it. In fact, masturbation might be the thing that keeps you thrusting away well into your middle age.
“Masturbation helps prevent prostate cancer, as regular ejaculation helps clean out the pipes,” notes Connell. “In other words, masturbation helps get rid of toxins built up in the urethra and male reproductive organs.”
How Does Masturbation Change With Age?
Back when you had a lot more time on your hands, you probably squeezed in a quick jerking off session whenever you had a few minutes to spare. As you get older, your availability becomes a bit more complicated when you are trying to balance a full load (yep, we said it) while juggling an active social calendar. Your ability to stay hard could change, along with what you use it for.
As with any part of someone’s sexuality, there can be changes as one ages. “As a man gets older, his erection may not stay hard or he may get it, and lose it, and get it and lose it,” explains Connell. “The amount of semen he ejaculates decreases and his orgasm may not feel as strong. A man may have to put more time into masturbating than when he was younger and have more patience as his erection ebbs and flows. It may take more and longer stimulation for him to reach orgasm. He may masturbate more if he loses his partner through death or divorce, as often as we age, masturbation becomes the only sexual outlet for people who have no partner.”
Also, as you age, your perception of masturbation might change too — you might want to use masturbation as part of your sexual practice with your partner, for example, mutual masturbation, but you might still feel uncomfortable incorporating it or having someone else see you do it.
“The literature explains that social contexts at every level predict the sexual behaviors of an individual,” says Hochberger. “When a child first discovers masturbation, it is usually not erotic. They discover that it feels good when they caress their genitals so they do it, free from shame and guilt. Unfortunately, as a child ages the innocence behind this pleasure is lost. There are negative messages that surround masturbation. People hear messages like ‘do not touch your genitals, it is disgusting’ starting from a young age. This causes many people to experience shame around masturbation. Many people share the experience that masturbation felt so good until learning the contradiction.”
So how do you let go of that negative connotation and free yourself to use masturbation however you want? By helping clarify the truth about masturbation. There’s nothing wrong with it!
“Men who do grow up to be comfortable masturbating, are often uncomfortable performing this act in front of their partner,” adds Hochberger. “It is a shame that people feel like they need to keep this natural act so private. A man who is comfortable sharing masturbation as a form of intimacy with their partner may experience more intense pleasure. It is a tool for success!”
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