Never Have I Ever: Had a Hometown Holiday Hookup

Ever Dreamed of a Hookup While Home for the Holidays? Here’s What It’s Like

Have you ever played “Never Have I Ever” before? Here are the rules: Everyone puts up ten fingers, and you go around in a circle and one by one share something sexy or scandalous that you’ve never done before. When someone else shares something you have done, you have to put one finger down — and of course, drink. The first person to put all 10 fingers down loses (or wins, depending on how you look at it).

Well, AskMen is still playing Never Have I Ever, and the rules are simple: In each edition of this column, we speak to someone about doing something new in bed, whether it’s a long-time fantasy, something that just happened, or even something they regret. They tell us everything so you get an inside look at what some sexual experiences are actually like.

Going home for the holidays conjures many memories that plenty of us have experienced recently. There’s the eggnog-fueled political debates, tapping into our inner child to gleefully unwrap presents and hooking up with people we went to high school with.

Maybe even that mean girl from middle school who suddenly finds you cool thanks to your film-making, as in the case of Z, who recently went home to Virginia.

For Z, the holiday season wasn’t about religion but revenge… served with a side of foot fetish. And yes, it took place in his childhood home, but thankfully, the walls were thick, even if he found himself enjoying the almost cruel pleasure of enjoying sex with an old nemesis who wasn’t his usual body type.

Keep reading to learn about his conquest and how, despite his best efforts, it didn’t help with the post-breakup depression he was experiencing.

AskMen: Will you tell me about your experience and what happened?

Z: I was going through a breakup with my long-term partner and didn’t have much to do during the holidays, so an old friend from high school was in town. We started talking and were thinking about doing something, and then we messed around on Facetime once, and another night, she came through, and we hooked up in my childhood bedroom.

It was trippy but sick cause she was such a jerk to me in middle school, but now that I make art for a living, she was into me.

Were your parents home for when you hooked up?

They were, but we’ve got thick walls.

Did you feel a sense of like awesome revenge? Would your high school self be proud? Do you wish you knew in high school that you’d come full circle like this?

Honestly, I did it out of spite. Of course, I did feel a sense of awesome revenge; she even said, “This feels like a conquest” on the way back home.

What was the sex like? Can you give me any dirty details?

I was going through a major depressive episode at the time, so not excellent, but not the worst. I liked her feet and always did, so I finally got to kiss her toes, which was nice. Also, eating her out from behind and seeing that in the mirror, like seeing myself eating out this person who messed with my mind so badly back in the day, was surreal.

I just cried after cause I felt like an asshole cause it all happened immediately after my ex of four and half years and I broke up.

Why did that make you feel like an asshole? Did it help with the breakup pain at all?

Not really. My ex was convinced I had problems, and I definitely did at the time.

How did the experience of hooking up with her compare to the high-school fantasy?

About what I expected. Hot, definitely hot, but she was super skinny. It does only so much for me, no offense intended. Also, she had short hair at the time, so it wasn’t exactly as I remembered her, you know? We’d both changed a lot since high school. Her feet were definitely better than expected, though.

How was it good for the ego?

I felt like I achieved a dumb goal I set for myself as a teenager without really realizing what that goal meant. I unlocked something inside myself, you know? Like, I knew I had one shot at this, and if I didn’t take it, it wasn’t going to show up again.

But honestly, it wasn’t an amazing feeling I walked away with; it was more on some Viking shit. Have ever seen El Topo? The movie starts with the main character telling his son to bury his toy and a picture of his mother cause he’s an adult now; the same basic principle was going through my head.

What advice would you give to someone else considering a holiday hook-up like this?

Do it. Go big or stay home.

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Source: AskMen