Never Have I Ever: Been Part of a Circle Jerk

Have You Ever Been Part of a Circle Jerk? Here’s What They’re Really Like

Have you ever played “Never Have I Ever” before? Here are the rules: Everyone puts up ten fingers, and you go around in a circle and one by one share something sexy or scandalous that you’ve never done before. When someone else shares something you have done, you have to put one finger down — and of course, drink. The first person to put all 10 fingers down loses (or wins, depending on how you look at it).

Well, AskMen is still playing Never Have I Ever, and the rules are simple: In each edition of this column, we speak to someone about doing something new in bed, whether it’s a long-time fantasy, something that just happened, or even something they regret. They tell us everything so you get an inside look at what some sexual experiences are actually like.

Circle Jerks: The name of an infamous punk band and a poetic description of the glorious act of plenty of people with penises coming together in unison to masturbate.

For some, the sexual practices perhaps invoke images of high schoolers experimenting. Do grown-ups still enjoy circle jerks? We turned to bi-con Zachary Zane, and sex expert for Archer, a new dating app for queer men.

Through his own dating experiences (he attends and hosts circle jerks as one would a dinner party), he discovered that the learning curve wasn’t so much about getting over being in a loop of dicks, but practicing enough patience to stick with the circle jerk plan, rather than jump inside one another’s holes.

Read on to learn about the guy who wrote Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto’s first experience, which he describes as “serendipitous,” his thoughts on whether or not you have to be queer to attend a circle jerk, and the importance of eye contact.

AskMen: What is your experience with circle jerks?

Zachary Zane: I have been attending and hosting circle jerks since I came out as bisexual a decade ago. I’ve been to a total of about 10 proper circle jerks. I’ve also been to gay parties that start as a circle jerk but devolve into a penetration orgy.

What was your fantasy of the experience before it happened?

Honestly, I didn’t have any expectations or fantasies before I went into my first circle jerk. I didn’t watch circle jerk porn or fantasize about it. My porn and fantasies involved a lot more penetration.

My first circle jerk was more serendipitous — I was at an after-hours with a bunch of gay guys; one guy whipped his dick out. Another guy followed suit, and voila, a circle jerk!

What was hot about it?

Circle jerks are for guys who love dick, and I love dick. Your visual senses are overloaded with cock after cock — big cocks, little ones, hairy ones, thin ones, chodes — the whole gamut. There’s also a chorus of grunts and moans, often very deep, guttural and masculine sounds — which is arousing.

Then, of course, it’s hot seeing other guys orgasm. The physical ejaculation is arousing, but also seeing their “oh” faces and the amount of pleasure they experience when they cum is really freakin’ hot.

What was so not [hot]?

I mean, I found everything hot. Though at points, I was like, “Goddamn it! I really want to stick my dick in someone’s ass or mouth” — but honestly, not being able to do so is a hot tease.

Have you done it again?

Yes!

What did your first time teach you?

You can have a hell of an arousing, fun, and sexual time without penetration. Also, the power of eye contact. There is often a lot of aggressive eye contact with other guys while everyone is stroking their cock. It is INTENSE and HOT.

Are circle jerks only for gay or queer dudes? Or is it kinda BS to identify as straight and also enjoy them?

This is actually a pretty complicated question, as sexual identity is so nuanced. Generally, I’m not in the business of telling people how they should sexually identify. I think everyone needs to decide for themselves.

Additionally, there are straight men who just love (and are aroused by) dick but aren’t sexually attracted to men — these men may fantasize about gangbangs or blowbangs. They may be very attracted to trans women. They also may be into circle jerks.

That said, I think circle jerks are undeniably homoerotic. And I’d be willing to bet a number of guys who enjoy circle jerks and identify as straight would likely be out as gay or bi if we lived in a world free from homophobia.

What advice would you give to someone looking to experience one for the first time?

I think one of the beautiful things about circle jerks is that they’re relatively “low pressure” for group sex. You don’t have to worry about staying hard for penetration. You don’t need to clean out your butthole prior and worry about feces. You just go and stroke your erect or soft cock and watch as other men do as well.

So really, you have very little to worry about. Go, bring some lube (and some poppers if you’re into that). And remember, if you’re not enjoying the jerk for whatever reason, or you feel uncomfortable, you can literally just pull up your pants and leave. Most likely, you won’t even need to announce anything. You can literally just leave without saying a word.

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Source: AskMen