How to Try Double Penetration
Tips and Advice for Safely Exploring the World of Double Penetration
Tips and Advice for Safely Exploring the World of Double Penetration
Chances are you’ve seen double penetration in porn at some point. You might have wondered — what’s that like?
It’s a perfectly normal thing to be curious about — and even want to try on your own. After all, double penetration is just another variety of threesome. Despite its sometimes extreme portrayal in porn, double penetration as a concept has become more inclusive over the years, allowing for same-sex trios, couples using toys and even solo pleasure seekers to be able to partake in it.
If you’re interested in trying any form of double penetration, there are a few things you should be aware of. Whether you’re trying it out in a group of three, just with your partner or even alone, here are a few expert-backed tips (and some commentary from real DP enthusiasts) on what you should know before you start.
What Is Double Penetration?
“Double penetration has typically been defined as two penises penetrating the same woman — one in the vagina and one in the anus,” explains Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT, C-PST, in-house expert at AdamEve.com.
As such, that would differentiate it from an Eiffel Tower threesome , which would have one penis in the mouth and one either in the anus or vagina.
However, according to Skyler, in recent years, the term has been broadened to encompass the mouth as well, thus creating any gender combination.
“It has also expanded to include any assemblage of fingers, tongues, and toys (i.e., dildos, butt plugs and ball gags), also allowing the term to be applied for solo pleasure and exploration,” she explains, which is great news, especially for couples that want to give double penetration a try but aren’t fully ready to invite a third party into the mix.
Why Is Double Penetration Exciting?
There are plenty of reasons why you see double penetration portrayed often in porn — and why it would be appealing to all involved.
“For givers, the excitement can be about the fantasy and non-vanilla taboo of the activity — including the possibility of a threesome, the possibility of a submissive/dominant power dynamic, or even just the use of non-vanilla toy choices,” Skyler explains.
“For receivers, the excitement can be similar to the givers as stated above — the excitement of accessing multiple places of pleasure and erotic nerve endings, particularly in the anus.”
This excitement and new sensation was the main motivator for Ali, 32, and her partner when they first decided to explore double penetration with a new partner.
“We’ve been together for over 10 years, so we had initially been experimenting with toys as a way to bring more novelty into our sex life,” she said.
One experience they had involved her using a vibrator while having anal sex with her partner.
“I knew I really wanted to try this at least once with another partner after that,” Ali said. “Luckily, my partner was open to it, but I know it’s not always an easy conversation for every couple.”
Illustration by Carlee Ranger.
Tips for Engaging in Double Penetration
Eugina O Liberty, a professional sexpert from JOYclub.com, says the first step toward trying double penetration should be having an open and honest conversation with your partner about expectations and boundaries.
“It’s important that you’re on the same page — you don’t want any unexpected surprises! More specifically, share with your partner(s) what you would like more of and how you like being touched; let them know where your pleasure spots are,” she says.
Safer sex is always important, but even more so when adding a new person into the mix. Some questions O Liberty recommends you cover before things get started:
Do you want to use condoms?When was the last time you had a sexual health check-up?Are you using contraception?Is it OK for someone to cum inside your mouth, vagina, or ass?”
“Answering all of these questions will help you feel more relaxed,” O Liberty says. “You should also make sure you discuss personal hygiene; if you are planning to explore anal play, make sure you use a douche and clean your bum of everything you wouldn’t want to use in your mouth.”
Ali and her partner connected with their third player via FetLife.com and met up a few times beforehand, allowing them to get on the same page during the run of the show.
“We knew we’d found the right person for the job because of how comfortable they were discussing everything,” she recalls. “They were experienced and on the same page as us about the need for the use of protection, STI testing, and establishing a safeword — and were respectful about certain things being off limits for us as a couple.”
Don’t be afraid to speak up during double penetration — especially if something hurts or feels uncomfortable.
“My first time, I think I felt a pressure just to keep going since I was the one being penetrated — but eventually I spoke up and switching positions helped a lot,” she says.
It may take some time to get into the groove when trying something new, especially with someone new. Give it time and be ready to check in frequently with all parties as things progress.
Also, don’t skip the conversation about what the expectation is after the act is done.
“In retrospect, I think we should’ve communicated what we wanted to happen after everything was done,” says Ali. “My partner and I wanted time alone to reconnect afterward, but we felt bad about kicking our third out. If we were to do this again, I think I would’ve communicated more initially on that need to make sure we were all on the same page about after-play.”
How to Discuss Having a Threesome How to Find a Third Partner for a ThreesomeHaving a Threesome in a Relationship
Source: AskMen