Can Men Orgasm Without Ejaculating?

The Mind-Blowing Climax Hack for Men That Your Sheets Wish You Knew

After a certain point in puberty, most people with penises start to ejaculate semen when they orgasm.

And while the dry orgasms that many prepubescent boys experience may fade from memory as they grow up, the truth is that orgasm and ejaculation aren’t as closely linked as you may think.

Yes, it is possible as an adult to orgasm without ejaculating. It’s an age-old tantric practice that’s also known as “injaculation,” or the aforementioned “dry orgasm.”

Interested in the possibility of “cumming without cumming,” as it were? As it turns out, control, not denial, is the key (of course, you can let yourself go eventually). To find out more, we spoke to leading sexologist Drew Lawson about how it’s done.

1. Relax

It might sound counter-intuitive, but learning to let go is key. It’s an excess build-up of energy that creates ejaculation and the build-up of tension in the pelvis that causes the release.

“Most men that I encounter in my work will come with a lot of bad habits in their nervous systems, created from doing the same thing over and again during masturbation and repeating the same mechanical movements during sex,” says Lawson. “Often it’s based around a lot of tensing [of] the body, the buttocks, the legs, the jaw.”

“The first thing I say is some basics around relaxing, through movement, through breath, and through sounds — guys often carry a lot of shame around their sexuality so it causes them to not say or do a lot,” he adds. He teaches them to “Relax their bodies and muscles and attitudes, which will open up the possibility of reprogramming their nervous system.”

2. Work It Out — But Let It Go

Women might be encouraged to do their Kegels, but it’s a little known fact that men have PC muscles too (they’re the ones you use to stop yourself mid-pee).

Before you can get down to separating your orgasm from your ejaculation, you need to be able to contract these muscles, which will then allow you to flex them just before ejaculation, resulting in that all-hailed dry orgasm.

“Having good muscular health is important, but clenching comes from a misreading of Daoist practices,” Lawson says. “Kegels and PC muscles are good for men and women, but clenching these muscles when you are on the brink of orgasm actually creates another layer of tension and inhibits your ability to come without coming. The primary thing guys need to do is to actually let go of clenching.”

3. (Don’t) Beat a Retreat

Over-excitement is, paradoxically, the death knell of good sex. And when it comes to separating out orgasm and ejaculation, the trick is to hold right back.

First job: knowing when your arousal peaks, then breathing out — and maybe pulling out slightly — until you feel yourself cooling down.

“Deep exhalations are really important,” says Lawson. “If you have a longer exhalation than inhalation, that calms the body. Being still — holding still for a few moments is really beneficial. Many guys think good sex means hard, fast repetitive thrusting but for women, that’s not that desirable.”

Instead of trying the classic trick of thinking about a non-sexy thing like sports statistics, math or your grandparents, Lawson recommends touching your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

You can also use the pause as an opportunity to check in with your partner. Then start again when you’re sure you’ve calmed down.

Even outside of wanting to feel the pleasure, you may feel some pressure to have an orgasm because your partner expects it — or you think they do. Lawson suggests exploring this dynamic with them, noting that it can have a positive effect for both of you.

“Get your partner to take the pressure off you in this regard,” he says. “In the slowness, there can be an energetic movement for both parties, where women are more likely to have G-spot orgasms too.”

4. The Breaking Point

So what do you do when you feel that orgasm is imminent?

“The key is to stay below 80 percent,” says Lawson.

“If you’re on the cusp, it’s a dangerous dance. At that point, it’s really important to stay as relaxed as possible in your body. That said, even when we feel relaxed, there can still be tension in our bodies.”

This might be a good opportunity to focus on your partner, to help take attention away from yourself, possibly by performing oral on them. Breathe deep into your belly, rather than up in the chest.

5. Practice Makes Perfect

Don’t expect to master it the first time. Or even the second or third time. And be sure to share with your partner what you are trying to do, so they’re not confused by any changes you’re trying to implement.

It might feel daunting, but open and honest communication is the bedrock of a healthy relationship, both in bed and out of it.

Everything You Need to Know About Tantric Sex Semen Retention: How It Works, Its Benefits and Its ChallengesEjaculation Etiquette: Where to Cum and What to Do After

Source: AskMen