Anal Sex Dos & Don’ts

You’re Going to Need to Do Some Proper Prep Before This Bedroom Activity

You’re Going to Need to Do Some Proper Prep Before This Bedroom Activity

Interested in exploring anal sex? You’ve come to the right place. The anus is a hot bed of nerve endings and, when stimulated, can be a pleasurable experience for whoever is on the receiving end — and pretty fun for the giving partner as well.

However, some people have been hesitant about trying anal sex because of the stigma that it’s dirty — or that it’s an act only done between male identifying partners. “Everyone has an anus, and the capacity for great pleasure receiving if they open their mind and abandon these stigmatized myths,” says Dr. Jenni Skyler, an LMFT- and AASECT-certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com.

As Dr. Lee Phillips, psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist explains, both male and female anatomy are engineered for anal pleasure since the nerve endings in the anus are connected to the genitals. “For example, in men and other penis owners, anal sex can stimulate the prostate, and this can lead to an orgasm,” Phillips explains. “For women and other vulva owners, anal sex can stimulate the A-spot in the vagina, producing more vaginal wetness and an orgasm.”

Interested in incorporating anal sex into your routine? Here are some steps to take before entering through the back door.

Do: Open Up The Conversation

If you’re going to introduce anal sex into the mix, it’s something you need to talk about first. Unlike other sexual acts, Dr. Phillips explains that anal sex requires prep work like cleaning the anus and relaxing your anal sphincter muscle (the muscle you use to poop) — so you’ll need to plan ahead.

But before you get to the planning logistics, it’s important to make sure your partner is also on board with giving anal sex a try. Not sure how to get that conversation started? “Explain your curiosity and why it’s a turn on,” Skyler suggests. “Ask about slow exploration and needed boundaries — maybe be open to watch some realistic videos (like ethical porn) to get an idea.”

Don’t: Come to Bed Unprepared

If you’re used to having penetrative sex with a person who has a vagina, you may skip out on lube since the vagina self-lubricates. 

This isn’t the case with the anus — which is why it’s so important to use lube during anal sex. Lube reduces friction and lessens the risk of injury during anal sex, since anal tissue is sensitive and can tear easily. Both Skyler and Phillips recommend silicone-based lube since it’s thicker and lasts longer — and to reapply frequently as needed.

Do: Prepare Your Body

For first time anal sex receivers, using a douche can help you feel more prepared. “Douching can clean out the rectum, and people report they feel clean, and it can be a pleasurable experience,” Phillips explains. Practicing with anal toys before engaging in anal sex can also help stretch the sphincter muscle before sex. “Glass butt plugs are the best for this because they are slick from the lube and you can warm them up, and this relaxes the sphincter muscle,” he explains. Butt plugs come in small, medium and large sizes. Phillips recommends starting small and working your way up once you feel comfortable.

Don’t: Eat Right Beforehand

Planning to be on the receiving end of anal sex? Phillips suggests not eating right before the act. “You want to give your body time to digest food, so depending on the time you plan to get it on, you want to plan your meals — and avoid spicy foods,” he says.

Do: Go Slow

Trying a new sex act with your partner should be done slowly. Skyler recommends going slow and starting small. “It’s helpful for warming up the mind and the body,” she says. 

For example, try stimulating the anus with a finger or tongue to warm up the area, and get your partner used to the sensation. It’s important that your partner feels relaxed, so make sure you’re taking things extra slow at first. “A relaxed mind and a relaxed anus can mean high amounts of pleasure, arousal, and for some people, even orgasm,” says Skyler.

Don’t: Forget to Communicate

Pay attention to your partner as you explore their anus and ask for feedback frequently. Anal sex shouldn’t be painful, so make sure your partner isn’t experiencing this. Be open and listen to your partner throughout the act — being able to communicate openly and honestly will make it more enjoyable for both of you.

Do: Start in an Easy Position

Before you try other positions — start with doggy-style. 

This position offers high visibility for the person entering while also allowing your partner to help guide you in. To make the position more comfortable, put a pillow under the receiving partner’s knees.

Don’t: Forget to Use Your Hands

Just because you’re having anal sex doesn’t mean you should stop doing the other things you normally would do during your typical sex routine. Touch and stimulate your partner’s body, whisper dirty things in their ear, kiss their neck. Receiving anal sex can feel more vulnerable than other acts, so make sure to up the intimacy and connect with your partner throughout.

Don’t: Pull Out Quickly

Moving slowly is as important during anal sex as it is afterward in order to avoid injury. “Remember, the anus is sensitive, and it can bleed easily, so it is all about relaxation,” says Phillips. When finished, slowly pull out inch-by-inch to avoid causing your partner pain.

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Source: AskMen