Aging & Male Sexual Function
The Impact of Aging on Your Sexual Performance & How to Deal With It
The Impact of Aging on Your Sexual Performance & How to Deal With It
From the day a person is born until they reach adulthood, their bodies seem to be constantly changing.
But just because the changes that take place over the next few decades are fewer and further between doesn’t mean adulthood is a time when your body is static. The truth is, we’re always changing.
That’s one reality that needs to be confronted when it comes to your sex life — the way your body responds to sexual situations in your teens, when you’re first finding out what masturbation and sexual arousal are like, will be radically different from how it does so in your 70s and 80s and beyond.
How much this bothers you will depend on a variety of factors — how attached you feel to each successive stage, how prepared you feel for the changes that are coming, how drastic those changes are, the resources you have to delay or suppress them, and more.
So, in order to help you better understand and navigate the way men’s bodies change as it pertains to sex over the course of their lives, AskMen spoke to a number of sexual health experts. Here’s what they had to say about the relationship between sex and aging:
How Male Sexual Function Changes With Age
“Sexual function evolves naturally as men age, driven by hormonal, physiological, and psychological factors,” says Davin Wedel, president and founder of Global Protection Corp. “Testosterone levels peak during adolescence and early adulthood, providing a strong libido and supporting sexual performance.”
“Sexual function is a fascinating journey, and isn’t always the same course for everyone,” says Emily May, certified sex therapist and writer at Private Sugar Club. However, she notes, the “general trend” is that it starts to taper off after a man turns 30.
What that looks like, Wedel says, is a process where “gradual hormonal decline, health changes, and lifestyle factors can impact sexual desire, erectile function, and even sensitivity.”
“However,” he says, “these changes are normal, and, with the right strategies, men can maintain a fulfilling and satisfying sex life throughout their lives.”
If nothing else, aging presents you with an opportunity to explore your relationship with sexual function further, says Sofie Roos, licensed sexologist, relationship therapist and author at Passionerad.
“What you took for granted when you were young — things like ejaculating with great volume and pressure, being able to easily get an erection or having a high sex drive and easily getting turned on and reaching orgasm — later in life become things you get more aware of, because you need to work more for them,” she says.
However, while this gradual process is more or less universal, that doesn’t mean that everyone experiences it at the same time — or with the same intensity. Part of that is a question of the kind of care you take with your body,” says Nicole Prause, PhD.
“The main reason sexual function changes with age is that general health often starts to change as we age,” she explains. “There are reliable decreases in testosterone and skin (including penile skin sensitivity) with aging, but these alone are usually unrelated to sexual dysfunction in studies.”
Thus, the best thing you can do for your sex life, Prause says, “is to keep your general health as long as you can.”
Different Stages of Male Sexual Function
During Puberty & Teen Years
Puberty marks the start of significant hormonal changes, with surging testosterone resulting in increased libido, spontaneous erections, and sexual curiosity,” says Wedel.
“During puberty, it’s chaos,” says May. “Hormones levels are all over the place and everything feels like a discovery. Erections are unpredictable — one minute you’re daydreaming about football, the next you’re covering up in class. It’s all part of the process, and while it can be awkward, it’s the foundation for a lifetime of learning about your body.”
In Your 20s & 30s
This is “the peak sexual phase,” May says. “Testosterone is on your side, recovery times are short, and desire is high. This is when you might feel invincible in bed.”
In your 20s especially, Wedel notes you’re likely to experience “strong erections” and “high energy;” by the 30s, a man’s “levels of testosterone have started to decrease slightly, but are still so high that you will feel almost no difference in sex drive,” says Roos. “This in combination with some experience and better self-confidence” can actually make you a better lover than you were in your 20s.
However, younger guys are not immune to erectile issues. Things like stress, poor sleep quality, poor diet, or mental health issues can impact your performance too.
“Sadly, the anxiety around ED can actually make the problem much worse,” says Vicki, sexual wellness expert at Bodyjoys, “causing an [ongoing] cycle which can make the idea of sex unappealing or even frightening.”
In Your 40s & 50s
At this point, Roos says — between things like career, parenthood and a long-term relationship that’s no longer as passion-filled as it once was — the sex might not feel as exciting.
Erectile dysfunction is definitely not out of the question, either, says Vicki. “It can be caused by a variety of both physical or psychological factors. These include disorders that affect the blood flow such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes or hormonal imbalances.”
“When hitting your middle 40s, the testosterone levels also decrease with an average of one to two percent per year,” says Roos, “and this often means that your sex drive gets less ‘primal’ or ‘raw.’”
Around this point in your life, some guys notice that they don’t ejaculate “with the same power and volume as before,” which Roos notes may feel like a distinct loss.
However, she says, this can mean that “you start focusing more on other types of intimacy.”
“These years are a great time to focus on quality over quantity,” says May. “I often blog about the importance of foreplay — and not the rushed kind. It’s about taking time to explore what feels good for you and your partner. Sometimes, a little creativity in the bedroom can turn these changes into a blessing rather than a setback.”
In Your 60s & Onwards
“From the 60s onward, declines in blood flow, sensitivity, and stamina become more noticeable,” says Wedel.
Even the healthiest guys will notice some form of sexual decline by their 60s, Roos says.
“For less healthy men entering their 60s, factors such as high blood pressure and the medicine you’re taking for that, diabetes and less effective blood circulation will have a negative impact,” she says.
“By the 60s and beyond, you’re playing the long game,” May says. “Erections might need more coaxing, orgasms could take longer, and the refractory period might feel like a marathon. But here’s where adaptability shines. I always tell couples, think of this stage as an invitation to slow down and savor intimacy. Try new things. Make laughter part of your bedroom routine.”
Stopping or Reversing Sexual Aging Trends
The changes your body goes through as you age can be complex and hard to pin down on one factor, so multiple approaches may be able to help. When it comes to your sex life, four key approaches offer potential solutions:
Lifestyle Adjustments
Perhaps the most useful approach is simply to work on living healthier — not only will this likely show marked improvements in sexual function, but it can also have positive effects on your physical and mental health, and your overall wellbeing.
“If you’re starting to have problems with your sex life, it’s important to find the reason so you can address it,” says Roos. “A person who’s not physically active, who eats unhealthy food and who gains weight will see lower testosterone production, which affects the sex drive, poorer blood circulation which leads to difficulties with getting hard or maintaining erections, and they might feel uncomfortable and unsexy in their changing body.”
To address these issues, “Maintaining a healthy lifestyle through regular exercise, a balanced diet, and stress management can support blood flow and hormone balance,” says Wedel.
Roos recommends things like “a better diet, two to three heavy gym sessions a week with focus on high weight and few reps, as well as more everyday cardio, such as walks, will help — even though it’ll take some time to get the positive effects!”
As well, she notes, stretching and Kegel exercises can go a long way for guys — as can cutting out (or at least cutting down on) cigarette smoking and alcohol consumption.
Finally, stress is something that can have a huge impact on your sex life, both by impacting your libido and your ability to achieve and maintain erections, Roos notes, so working on stress reduction can have significant positive impacts in that regard.
Pills & Supplements
While lifestyle adjustments like the above can be genuinely transformative not just for your sex life but also for, well, your whole life, they will likely take some time to take effect. That’s why many men in search of a quick fix may want to turn to things like pills and supplements.
“As you notice, almost all solutions are giving long term results, often after one to three months,” says Roos. Men who want immediate help may seek to turn to “ED medicine such as Viagra.”
Pills like these use medicinal ingredients to “create greater blood flow to the penis,” Vicki says, which can be a real boost when it comes to erectile function.
However, if there are underlying physical or mental health issues that are impacting your sex life, ED pills won’t address those — and they can have non-trivial side-effects, too.
However, there’s more to this than just popping ED pills. Some sex-oriented medicinal supplements can have positive health effects that improve your sex life as well.
“For specific concerns like erectile dysfunction or decreased libido, medical treatments such as prescription medications, hormone therapy, or counseling may be effective,” Wedel says.
Either way, talking to a doctor about the issue is a good start. Getting started with ED pills might feel a bit embarrassing for some guys, Roos says, “so it can be a great idea to talk with a doctor as well as with your partner to feel better and more motivated to use it!”
Toys & Gadgets
Vicki notes that there are “toys that can reduce the effects of ED with no lasting impact, including penis pumps, which encourage blood flow to the penis to create an erection.”
However, if your issue isn’t achieving erection but maintaining them, “a simple cock ring could be the solution,” Vicki notes, “as it restricts the blood flow out of an erect penis, ensuring it stays harder for longer.”
“The penis ring not only helps you to maintain an erection for longer, but also makes the penis more sensitive,” says Roos, “which can help people with reduced sensitivity!”
“There are also penis sleeves,” says Vicki, “which are hollow shafts that the man puts their penis into to enable them to penetrate their partner. These sleeves can come with textured internal surfaces to allow for stimulation of the penis whilst thrusting, helping to simulate normal sexual performance and also maintaining the penis if it is semi erect.”
Communication
If you’re experiencing significant aging-related changes to your sexual function, you may well be feeling overwhelmed and anxious about your ability to ‘perform’ sexually. Under these conditions, lots of guys may feel the need to keep quiet about the problem — but that’s the exact wrong approach.
As scary as it might seem initially, “open communication with a partner,” Wedel, can go a long way towards easing the pressure you feel.
“If erections are a challenge, medications or devices can be helpful,” says May. “But let’s not forget the power of communication,” she notes. “Talking to your partner about what’s changing can work wonders. I always remind people, ‘You don’t need a magic pill to make intimacy meaningful, just a willingness to keep showing up for each other.’”
Workarounds That Can Help Your Sex Life
The unpleasant truth of the matter is that in some cases, maintaining an erection — or an aspect of your partnered sex life from when you were younger — may no longer be viable, whether because of the price, side-effects of medications, or other factors.
So what happens if you genuinely have to say goodbye to your erections? For some, that’s equivalent to saying goodbye to your sex life entirely. But the truth is, that’s not the case at all.
“If certain sexual changes can’t be fully reversed, couples can explore other ways to maintain intimacy and pleasure,” says Wedel. “Expanding intimacy beyond penetration allows for deeper emotional and physical connection. Open communication with a partner is key to creating a fulfilling and adaptable sexual experience at every stage of life.”
You might focus more on sex acts you associate with foreplay, Wedel notes — things like deep kissing, sensual touching, and manual or oral stimulation of your partner.
Another thing guys may overlook is that some female partners may be more open than they realize to pivoting away from P-i-V sex, according to Prause.
“If you cannot have penile-vaginal intercourse with your female partner reliably any more, you might be surprised to find her relieved to try other forms of stimulation,” she says. “The vulvar skin tends to get thinner and lubrication less reliable with menopause, so you might both benefit from manual genital stimulation (i.e., handjobs)!”
“As is almost always the case with sexual problems, just be sure you communicate your thoughts to your partner,” Prause adds. “Sometimes one partner assumes you ‘age out’ of sex all together, where the other never expected it to stop.”
“If you wish to be/remain monogamous, be sure you’re on the same page about how you want to handle sexual pleasure in your relationship. One of the best predictors of sexual satisfaction that transcends age is feeling desired!”
“And when all else fails? Adapt and thrive,” says May. “Remember, your body may age, but pleasure doesn’t have an expiry date. The most important sex organ is your brain. Keep it curious, playful, and open to whatever feels good. That’s how you stay in the game, no matter the stage of life.”
What It’s Like to Experience Erectile Difficulties (and Deal With Them)The Connection Between Marijuana & Erectile Dysfunction
How to Treat Your Erectile Dysfunction
Source: AskMen