Men need to be reminded that they’re loved too.
By Laura Lifshitz — Last updated on Jul 05, 2023
Photo: Bogoljubb / Shutterstock
Your man wants to hear that he matters.
That he’s a vital and important part of your heart and your life.
That he means the world to you. So when you open your mouth to tell him something, make sure it’s these words of affirmation that your man really wants to hear.
Here are 10 phrases of affirmation your man desperately wants to hear:
1. “I want you.”
Men often feel as if they have to be the sexual initiators in the relationship. Doing so can be draining and often feel as if they’re “asking for it” rather than you “wanting it.” Women want to feel sexy and adored, and men are no different. Telling him “I want you” is a surefire way to make him happy.
2. “I appreciate your hard work and effort.”
Sometimes, men will make an attempt to please us by fixing things or doing various chores or tasks to make us happy. Sure, we may have wanted something more romantic or for them to notice our haircut, but in truth, their effort is there even if it’s delivered slightly differently than we had hoped. Saying that we appreciate his effort and work is a statement that will go so far with men.
3. “I’m proud of you.”
Men are often taught to measure their worth by their work and accomplishments. Personally, I find this to be better than what women are often judged by — how nice they are, how pretty they are, or how many friends they have.
But I digress. Telling your man how proud you are of him for whom he is and what he does makes him feel like you hold him in a positive and endearing light.
4. “When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”
Men don’t always want to talk, especially when you want them to. Telling him that you’re here when he’s ready to talk lets him feel respected, loved, and understood. Those seven words go a long way.
5. “Go see your friends.”
Jealousy rears its ugly head in many relationships, and I have heard from many men about how their female partners tend to get angry or jealous when they want to see friends. Telling your man to go see his friends without clenched teeth or constant texts shows him the affirmation he needs: You trust him. You value his free time and identity as a person.
6. “I value your opinion.”
Telling your best guy that you value his opinion and want his feedback makes him feel useful, helpful, and loved. You will make his day when you tell him this.
7. “You are SO sexy.”
Women aren’t the only “birds” whose feathers like to be fluffed. Tell him directly how sexy you think he is. Then, if you want to make him feel really good, tell him some dirty things you would like to do to him.
8. “You’re a good man.”
Let’s be real ladies: there’s a lot of dialogue about “good men versus bad men,” and men know this. They know what women believe to be a good man versus a bad man. Telling him he’s a good man reminds him that he’s one of the good guys.
9. “I understand” or “I’m trying to understand.”
We won’t always intuitively understand how our partners feel, but when we do tell our loves that we understand, it makes them feel great. If you don’t understand your man, tell him you are trying. The effort makes the difference.
10. “I respect your need for X…”
If you truly respect your guy’s need for a certain hobby or habit, telling him that you respect his individual quirks makes him feel as if you allow him to be his own person. Let me tell you, that is love at its best.
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Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, and marriage. Her work has been featured on YourTango, New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.