Role-Playing Ideas and Scenarios She’ll Love
Not Sure Where to Start With Role-Playing? Pick One of These 4 Scenarios
Not Sure Where to Start With Role-Playing? Pick One of These 4 Scenarios
There’s no need to be nervous. In fact, think of role-playing in the bedroom as an all-purpose improvement for your sex life. If you’re a newly formed couple, it can allow you to explore kinks you might otherwise be too shy to try. On the other hand, if you’ve been together for a long time, it can be a fantastic means of rejuvenating the sexual energy between you.
“No matter how much you love [your partner] or are into [them], regardless of how hot [they are], sex can become so pedestrian, boring and blah,” says Laurel House, a dating and relationship coach and host of the “Man Whisperer” podcast. “Role-playing is a great way to initiate a little extra excitement.”
So if you are looking to generate that extra little bit of excitement, how do you pull it off? Lots of people want to have more exciting sex, but knowing exactly how to do it can be extremely daunting.
“If you’re new to role-play and feeling awkward, start with sexting,” suggests JackAndJillAdult sexpert Kayla Lords. “It’s low-pressure and gives you time to think about your responses. You’ll feel a lot less pressure to ‘perform’ if you can take your time to respond and edit yourself before you hit send. Once you get comfortable with that, bring it slowly into the bedroom. Start with flirty conversations in person and take on personas or roles during sex.”
At some point along the way, you’ll want to have a serious conversation about what is (and what isn’t) OK within your role-playing.
“Just be sure that, before you act out your fantasies, you thoroughly talk about what you are and are not comfortable with,” says House. “I’m talking about storylines, word choice, physical touch, and boundaries. This is supposed to enhance, not hurt your relationship.”
Role-Playing With Costumes and Props
When people think about role-playing, their minds might naturally gravitate towards doing it in costume or with props. After all, when role-playing is shown in popular media or in pictures accompanying role-play advice articles, the tendency is toward arresting visuals.
French maid’s outfits, Venetian masquerade masks, nurse’s uniforms, a police officer’s hat and (gulp!) nightstick — but while those extra little details can make for a fun time, they’re not totally necessary to have good role-play session.
“Costumes and props aren’t necessary at all for role play,” says Lords. “Your mind can often fill in any gaps. That being said, some people like costumes and props because it helps them get into ‘character.’”
Jess O’Reilly, host of the “@SexWithDrJess” podcast, agrees. “Costumes and props can help you to get into character,” she says. “In fact, some people use outfits (e.g. lingerie) as a ritual to remind themselves that they’re transitioning from roommates to lovers at the end of the night.”
But before you rush to the nearest costume store to flesh out the details of your deliver boy costume, hold back. Start with what you have, and as O’Reilly suggests, “only buy a costume or prop if you really want to add it to your fantasy.”
How to Keep the Role-Play From Falling Apart
And if something pierces through the fantasy you’ve created?
Whether it’s something instantaneous like a sneeze, or something trickier like a car alarm on the street beeping its way into your medieval prince and princess scene, it is possible to keep the mood from getting away from you.
“Have a laugh!” suggests O’Reilly. “Laughter helps to cut tension, and it may be an evolutionary mechanism to let others know that you are not a threat. This is why laughing with your lover can help to put them at ease, promote intimacy and bring you both back into the moment — in and out of the bedroom.”
Once you’ve gotten the awkward moment out of your system with a chuckle, you can get back to the matter at hand.
“Give yourself a minute to get back in the headspace before continuing on,” says Lords. “The entire point of role-play is to enjoy yourself, and find new ways to sexually connect with your partner. Don’t worry about being perfect. Just focus on the fun.”
Role-Play Scenario Examples to Use
Of course, what you and your partner are into will go a long way toward determining what kind of fun you’re focusing on.
As scenarios that are mind-bendingly hot for some couples might be boring for other couples, the real trick is to find what it is that gets both of you in the mood, and explore different scenarios along that avenue.
To help you out in that regard, here are four different types of role-play scenarios, along with some common examples, and some conversational prompts to give you an idea of how it all works.
Role Play a Power Dynamic
Roles: Teacher/Student
See also: Cop/Prisoner, Nurse/Patient, Boss/Employee, Experienced Lover/Virgin
Sample Dialogue:
Person 1: “Another F? You’re really struggling. I might need to tutor you one-on-one.”
Person 2: “Please, I’ll do anything to help get my grades up.”
Person 1: “Anything, you say?”
Person 2: “Yes, anything. And I promise I won’t tell anyone, either.”
Try it if you: Harbor secret crushes on people who have more (or less) power than you
Skip it if you: Think sex should always be a safe and comfortable space
There’s a reason most people associate role-play with teacher/student interactions and their ilk, and it’s because power dynamic-related interactions are hugely popular.
“Most role-play scenarios are about power — doctor and patient, prisoner and guard teacher and student,” says Lords. “If you’re into power dynamics, these are great ways to play with and explore domination and submission.”
When it comes to picking a role-play scenario, O’Reilly suggests leaning into those power-dynamic situations with some Domination/submission play. “Dominance is not always about whips, chains and leather outfits,” she says. “It is about power and control underscored by informed consent and respect.”
In your scenario, the teacher isn’t just an authority figure; the teacher is the authority figure. What they say, goes. And that dynamic, whether you’re the professor in question or the lowly student, can be incredibly arousing for people who associate power and control with sex.
Role Play Sex Work
Roles: Photographer/Nude Model
See also: Two Porn Stars, Stripper/Client, Escort/John, Dominatrix/Client
Sample Dialogue:
Person 1: “Oh, yeah. Open those legs for me. Work it.”
Person 2: “You like what you see, baby?”
Person 1: “Mmh. Now turn around and flaunt your ass in the air.”
Person 2: “I bet you’re going to jerk off to these pictures later, aren’t you?”
Try it if you: Want a taste of being someone whose life revolves around sex
Skip it if you: Find sex work boring or un-sexy
One common area for role-play involves sex as a main part of the conversation. And that’s pretty sound reasoning — if your starting point is sex and/or nudity, well, you don’t have far to travel to make things sexy. For some people, that’s the perfect role-play scenario.
Of course, others might find role-playing as two people who are having sex for primarily financial reasons to be a little boring, or even totally unsexy. But the thrill of inhabiting a world where sex with strangers is not only normal, but expected is a potent one for lots of people.
If you’re not into power-dynamic role-playing, Lords says “one partner can pick up the other at a hotel [and] pretend to be an escort.”
“The pressure is off because you know you’re going home together, so you can have fun with it,” she adds. Then, just act like you’re the type of guy who actually does hire a sex worker — and you want her to treat you like a king.
Role Play Breaking the Rules
Roles: Masseur/Client
See also: Pizza Guy/Orderer, Driver/Hitchhiker, Two Cheaters, Blackmailer/Victim
Sample Dialogue:
Person 1: “Wow, you really are tense, huh?”
Person 2: “Yeah, I just can’t seem to relax, no matter what I do.”
Person 1: “You know, I might have just the thing you need.”
Person 2: “Oh, God, your hands feel so good — I’ll do anything you suggest.”
Try it if you: Really like pushing boundaries
Skip it if you: Are uncomfortable with coercion
It’s hard to deny that a lot of people find a certain wrongness to be sexy. Why else would phrases like “You’re so bad,” “Oooh, naughty,” “Now you’ll have to punish me?” and such be considered sexual?
If you grew up being taught that sex was sinful or bad for you, you might be someone who now associates sex with doing the wrong thing — and that can make sex that involves crossing boundaries intensely sexy.
As a result, lots of common role-play scenarios involve people doing things that are downright, well, wrong. An example? A masseur touching his client in inappropriate, sexual ways.
But from the cartoonish porniness of the delivery guy with the “extra sausage” pizza to the very consensual — if questionably moral — pair of cheaters sneaking out to be with each other, rule-breaking role-play has lots to offer if that’s what you’re into.
“Scenarios might involve love affairs […], hitchhiking, rewards or punishment, blackmail, photo shoots […], humiliation, teasing or dominance and submission,” says O’Reilly.
And if that really is what you’re into, she suggests going whole hog, as it were.
“Don’t get hung up on mainstream ideas,” she adds. “The pizza delivery guy and French maid can make for hot routines, but push your limits and engage in your real fantasies. Just be sure to talk about your needs and boundaries ahead of time and establish a safe word or signal that you can use if you feel uncomfortable at any point in time. This safety precaution signals to your lover that s/he should stop right away and check in to ensure your well-being.”
Role Play Different People
Roles: Total strangers, meeting for the first time
See also: Athlete/Cheerleader, Wedding Night, Princess/Prince, Classic Movie Duo
Sample Dialogue:
Person 1: “Well hello there, handsome. Do you come here often?”
Person 2: “I’m going to have to now that I know I might run into you. Can I buy you a drink?”
Person 1: “Only if you’ll sit with me and let me make eyes at you while I drink it.”
Person 2: “You drive a hard bargain. I might just have to buy you two.”
Try it if you: Want your fantasies to be romantic
Skip it if you: Want your fantasies to be intense
If the past few scenario types felt a little too intense for you, you might have a better time with this final category. Here, the focus is less on the nature of what’s going on between you, and more on the fact that you’re both playing totally different characters.
Your attraction for each other can remain the same, as can the way you interact. Now, rather that being your boring old selves, you are people like yourselves who, by some coincidence, have met — even though you’ve never been in a relationship before. In short, you get the opportunity to re-seduce each other all over again.
“Maybe you act as if you are meeting each other for the first time. But this time she has to pick you up, requiring her to majorly flirt with you and make you want her,” says House.
“Role-playing can be even more fun out in public, because no one else knows that you’re already in a happy relationship. Let them believe that this is a scandalous love affair, or that you’re meeting for the first time at a coffee shop or a bar.”
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Source: AskMen
