Want to Go Back-to-Back in the Bedroom? Here’s What You Need to Know
Want to Go Back-to-Back in the Bedroom? Here’s What You Need to Know
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You’ve been there before. You’ve just spent what you thought was a sufficient amount of time doing the deed with your woman — to the point where you both collapse post-orgasm, sweaty and satisfied. But a few minutes later, she’s ready to go again. And you want to, you really do. It’s just that your member isn’t exactly cooperating.
It’s no news that when it comes to going for a second round of sex, women have an easier time getting back in the ring for round two than men do. And while there are certain anatomical complications involved with immediately going again that men are up against, it’s not impossible to give her an encore performance — as long as you know the challenges you’re up against, and how to overcome them. With a few tips, the right information, and some products engineered to save the day for this exact sex scenario, you’ll be able to rise to the occasion and satisfy her a second time.
We asked a few experts to weigh in on the best ways to prepare for a second round of sex that’s steamy and seamless. Here’s what they had to say about getting back in the game for a second time.
How to Have Multiple Rounds of Sex in Short Succession
1. Get Clear on Your Refractory Period
You may have heard the term “refractory period” used before. According to certified counselor and relationship expert David Bennett, understanding what this is and how it pertains to you personally is a key first step to figuring out your best course of action to prepare for a second round of sex. “The refractory period refers to the time it takes a man to become sexually aroused and sustain an erection following sex,” he explains. “This varies between men and is impacted by age. Younger men may be ready within minutes, while older men may take hours.”
While age does impact the refractory period, there are other factors that play a part as well. “The recovery depends on age, but also on how much arousal you get in-between sessions, your hormones, and your overall health,” echoes Dr. Jamin Brahmbhatt, a board-certified urologic surgeon in Florida. How does it all work? “After sex, your penis becomes flaccid from neural signals telling your body to relax — especially the organ that’s been doing most of the work (the penis),” he explains. “Dopamine and testosterone levels drop. Prolactin [a hormone that has been found to interfere with the production of testosterone] goes up, which seems to be the reason for the length of the refractory period. The increased prolactin and subsequent lower testosterone is like a double whammy affecting your drive (or motivation) to get it up again.”
2. Set Expectations With Your Partner
Even if your partner knows the science of refractory periods, there’s still a chance that she’s taking the whole “you not being able to get it up a second time” thing personally. According to Bennett, setting expectations with your partner on how long it’s going to take you to be able to get ready for round two is going to not only help take the pressure off you, but get her on board for what needs to be done in order for you to get there. “Refractory periods are natural and nothing to be ashamed of,” he says. “It’s important for both people involved to have a realistic understanding that for many men, instantly having more sex within minutes may not be physiologically possible, and pressuring a man to do this is only going to make things even worse.”
3. Keep the Stimulation Going
Refractory periods are always going to be the challenge to overcome when gearing up for a second round. But according to Philippe Côté-Léger, founder of Premature Ejaculation Help, having your partner continue to stimulate you after round one can help make the period more pleasurable — which may help get things up and running sooner, so to speak. “The best way to shorten this waiting period is by keeping the stimulation going after your first orgasm,” he explains. “Of course, most men will lose their erection. However, if your partner keeps kissing and caressing you, it will make the waiting period more interesting. By doing so, you can supplant the fatigue with erotic thoughts that will help you regain an erection faster.”
But what about the whole chemical process behind refractory periods? “Even if arousal is partially blocked, that doesn’t mean you can get aroused,” Côté-Léger continues. “Of course, when you roll on your side of the bed and feel tired, it’s hard to get excited. It will be way easier, though, if your partner is still moaning in pleasure. That’s why, after an ejaculation, your partner should focus on you right away.”
Also, make sure you’re communicating with your partner during this period if it becomes too much. “Another trick to keep in mind is that a man will need genital stimulation to regain an erection,” Côté-Léger explains. “The view and sound of his partner won’t be enough for most men to obtain a second erection. If the partner wants the second round, the man will need more stimuli than usual. Stimulation often has to begin when the man is still flaccid, even if we’re going to shorten the waiting time. Yet, that stimulation can be unpleasant if it’s performed too soon.” Make sure you let your partner know when and if she’s stimulating you too much. And don’t be afraid to take control of the situation by doing it yourself and having her watch in order to learn.
4. Take a Break
You know your body better than anyone — so if you need a significant amount of time before a second round of sex is something that’s attainable for you, Daniel Sher, sex educator at Naughty North, says to fill that time by doing something that keeps you connected with your partner. “Consider doing something playful and fun with your partner,” he suggests. “Watch a series, take a shower together, give her a sensual massage or start giving her foreplay. This will help pass the time until you are naturally ready for round two.”
5. Clean Up
You’re going to have to do it anyway — so why not utilize your refractory period to make sure you’re doing things as safely during round two as you did the first time around? “In moments of passion, it’s easy to forget these things,” says Sher. “Unless you’re trying to get pregnant, be sure to clean up properly after the first round of sex in order to be fully cautious about disease and pregnancy prevention. Wash the area with soap and water, urinate, and properly dispose of everything (like a condom) from the first time you had sex. Treat the second round the same as the first in terms of precautions.”
6. Get Your Health in Check
According to Dr. Brahmbhatt, how physically fit you are does play a part in how quickly you’ll be ready for a second round. “Get in shape,” he says. “The fitter you are, the better your hormones will be able to regulate themselves.” Laying off the sauce before sex will also help your cause. “Avoid alcohol, which is a depressant,” he continues. “If you drink, you are also having to fight the depressant effect on top of the hormonal and physical changes.”
7. Introduce Something New Into Round Two
“It’s possible that anything that increases dopamine levels in the brain may decrease the refractory period, since the hormonal changes in men after ejaculation may serve to suppress dopamine,” Bennett explains. “So, the possibility of round two of sex involving something risky, something new and exciting, or even involving a new partner (some research in rats suggests they recover faster when a new partner is involved) may allow you to have that second round of sex sooner.” If there’s no way in hell your woman is going to buy your refractory period as grounds for that threesome you’ve been asking for, introducing a sex toy can help. Here are a few suggestions to up the excitement and get those dopamine levels back up.
Bedroom Tools to Help You Extend the Fun
Intimate Earthly Aromatherapy Massage Oil
Having your partner sensually massage you (and vice versa) while you’re gearing up for a second round helps keep the stimulation going. Plus, it’s an opportunity for both of you to continue connecting, which can help rev you up for round two as well. This formula from Adam&Eve features pheromone scents to keep your senses heightened and engaged.
$19.99 at AdamEve.com
Screaming O Vibrating Ring
Using a cock ring like this one from Screaming O can help get your member back up and running for round two. “A penis ring helps to trap the blood in your penis, meaning that you’re more likely to be ready for round two sooner,” Sher explains. This model from Screaming O is a great starter ring — it’s easy to slip on and comes in a variety of colors.”
$7.99 at AdamEve.com
Lube Life Water-Based Personal Lubricant
When you’re getting ready for another round of sex, dryness — or even worse, stickiness — is going to slow down your recovery period. Choose a water-based lube like this non-sticky formula from Lube Life to keep things running smoothly.
$9.99 at Amazon.com
Sportsheets Beginner Bondage Kit
If you’re looking for something exciting to add into your second sex round, this beginner bondage kit from Sportsheets has everything you need. It’s easy to set up and store when you’re finished, and the cuffs are adjustable to ensure you and your partner are as comfortable as one could possibly be while being restrained.
$32.56 at Amazon.com
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