Here’s how to have fun and date again.
By The Mind’s Journal — Last updated on Aug 17, 2023
Photo: peopleimages via Canva
By Alex Wise
Summer is here and company for your sweaty, summer nights is a much-needed staple of this blessed season’s successes.
Even if spring threw you for a loop, burying you beneath obligations, tax horrors, and overtime at the office, there’s no need to worry.
There’s no better time than summer to get off the couch, go crazy, and get your good old dating groove back.
Here’s how to do it.
Here are 6 crucial tips to get out of any dating rut:
1. Get physical
Start forcing yourself to exercise at least a little bit each day.
Whether or not you have time to hit the gym, get into the habit of jogging, hiking, jump-roping, swimming — anything that gets your blood pumping and heart thumping.
Endorphins released will encourage an immediate increase in physical confidence, not to mention a general enthusiasm for getting half-naked poolside.
By investing in workouts designed to strengthen your body, you prompt your mind to believe in your ability to achieve.
Mentally, you will feel considerably more capable the more you continue to pursue the pattern of regular activity.
And this ultimately translates to a feeling of accomplishment and pride that attracts women on the lookout.
2. Be open
The most important key to dragging yourself out of a dry spell is your ability to become mentally and emotionally open to meeting new people.
While many of us might say we are interested in meeting people, oftentimes the energy we emit is quite the contrary.
If your thoughts are geared towards the difficulty of finding someone worth dating while you’re out pursuing a potential date, the negativity you have focused on will fog any chance of you finding responses from fun, positive people.
Remember that what you radiate is what you attract.
So, the first step to drawing a crowd is being someone worthy of a crowd’s attention.
3. Life of the party
How to be worthy of a crowd’s attention, you might ask?
You can do it simply by being energetic and engaged.
Many people feel that in order to be involved in a group conversation, they must prove their ability to keep up with the majority’s mental pace and flow.
And while it’s always wise to understand the dynamic already at work in a crowd, it doesn’t necessarily mean you must feel inhibited if the subject at hand seems lifeless or incompatible with your current mood.
It merely means you are given the fun challenge of turning the conversation toward something you feel at ease with.
For example, if a group’s verbal exchange seems deadened and infrequent, simply find a sequitur capable of bridging a random slice of the current conversation with a more scintillating story you love telling.
Be sure to choose a story that warrants subsequent response and conversation, rather than a rambling anecdote that leaves you awkwardly nodding to a silent circle of bystanders.
But, don’t sweat it if this happens, either.
Easily laugh it off with a little comment like, “Well… gee guys, I thought that story was going to take us somewhere, but I guess I totally dropped the ball on that one. Who’s next?”
When making missteps, don’t panic.
Make a joke of it, acknowledge the awkwardness, and the crowd will immediately feel comfortable.
4. Stylize yourself
Choosing a style icon, and shopping for one or two items that encourage a surge of excitement and confidence while suited up to hit the town is one of the best things a single man can do for himself.
Whether it’s something as small as a new set of cufflinks or something as noticeable as a snazzy new pair of shoes, getting dolled up is a quintessential step in revitalizing your romantic life.
Remember, it’s more for your benefit than hers, so choose clothing or accessories that make you feel — as elementary and childish as it sounds, it honestly is the best word to use — cool.
If you feel cool, you exude cool.
And cool guys, no matter their aesthetic or physical appearance, always manage to attract women.
5. Ditch your doubts
Your ability to move beyond your comfort zone is essential to finding yourself in fun scenarios involving women.
You may not feel all too happy to jump onto the dance floor or drive to some unknown bar out of your neighborhood or take a chance on a couple of women who convinced you to attend a random house party, but being uncomfortable is often a blessing.
While stuck in a rut of what you have familiarized as ‘regular life,’ taking risks is necessary.
Sure, every night may not end up swinging.
There may be nights when you are returned home annoyed at having wasted minor amounts of time and money, but there will also be nights when adventures find you.
If you are willing to let go of your fears and insecurities in order to try something without guarantee, it is guaranteed you will grow.
Whether or not it feels fun each time, your capacity for risk-taking and impulse will expand, ultimately leaving you feeling comfortable even at your most uncomfortable.
This feeling of at-ease that will accompany you wherever you wander then translates to an irresistible confidence to which women flock when they also feel uncomfortable.
6. Have fun
Lastly, have fun.
Try to find a way to make every occasion, whether exceptional or commonplace, an experience worth your time and energy.
Find humor in your fears, find security in your closest friends, and relinquish your desperation for a date.
Then, and only then, will you effortlessly find one.
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Alex Wise is a freelance writer, blogger, and co-founder of the dating site Love Awake.
This article was originally published at The Mind’s Journal. Reprinted with permission from the author.