Kissing Women

You think you know how to kiss a girl so it makes her tingle — but do you really? The basic mechanics of kissing seem simple (and let’s be real, something you’ve been doing for at least a decade), but to really kiss a girl in a way that will make her want to see you again, and possibly naked, you might need to brush up on your skills.

From how to initiate it to how she’ll feel afterwards, real women dish on how to kiss a girl in a way that might just leave her (rarely) speechless.

Look For The Signs

Before you start even going in for the sweet deal — make sure you’re aware of the signals the girl is sending, first. Most of the time — between the wine and convo — you’ll have an idea if she’s into you or not. Andrea, a 29-year-old from Los Angeles, says that if she’s into a guy, she’ll make more of a point to touch him: “When I want a guy to kiss me at the end of our date, I’ll make sure I brush up against him while we’re leaving the bar. Or I’ll look at him in the eyes longer than I normally would with someone I was iffy about.” Other signs a girl wants a smooch? She gets closer to you during the day and she compliments something about your face — your eyes, your lips, anything.

Start Slow

You’ll have plenty of time for fancy tongue work if the first date turns into more, but don’t ruin your chances by getting too sexual from the get-go. Christina, a 26-year-old from New York, says there is nothing worse than too much tongue or being aggressive when you’re first starting to kiss. “Slow and steady is best for a first kiss— no one likes slobber!” she says. Twenty-four-year-old Gigi from Hawaii also chimes in: “If I have to wipe my chin, you’re doing it wrong.”

Use Your Hands – Appropriately

There’s a fine line between being too intense and not sensual enough when you’re going in for the kiss. You don’t want to leave her wondering if you’re a bad kisser or if you’re not that into her. How to fix it? Use your hands! Monica, a 29-year-old from London, says what really gets her going is when a guy puts his hands — gently! — in her hair when they’re kissing soft and slow. “That added physical connection is enough to let me know there could be other types of chemistry later on, and it still makes me a little flushed, no matter how many first kisses I’ve had!” If you’d rather stay away from her hair, place them on the small of her back — or if you’re really into her — brush your fingers against her cheek.

Check Your Breath

Before you walk or drive her home, make a pitstop in the bathroom to do a breath check. Marie, a 26-year-old from North Carolina, says a huge turn-off is unbrushed teeth and bad breath. “I absolutely cannot take a guy seriously if he has gunk on his teeth or if I can smell pungent breath,” she says. “I will use any and all excuses to avoid locking lips.” Even if you just carry some gum for a quick chew before leaving the restaurant, that should do the trick and keep you fresh until you kiss her.

Relax

“You can always tell when a guy isn’t comfortable kissingor if he’s unsure about what I want. His kisses come off way too tough and not gentle enough. Relax, dudes, it’s a kiss!” says 27-year-old Kristyn from Philadelphia. Though it might seem easier said than done, go with what feels right in your gut, while considering all of the points above. The worst thing you can do is make the kiss awkward because you aren’t confident enough to really kiss her like you mean it.

Listen

The longer you date, the more types of people you will kiss. There is no special and perfect way to kiss a girl — it’s all specific to what she likes. Once you’ve been seeing her — and making out with her — for a while, she might bring up things she likes and doesn’t. Elizabeth, a 29-year-old from Alabama, says that after a while, biting and teasing can get her going, even if she doesn’t want that playfulness in the beginning. Be open to what she wants, and don’t be afraid to tell her what you’d like in return, too. Kissing is a two-way street, so it might as well work for both of you.