Why Love Isn’t About Each Other — It’s About Feeling Wanted
Sticking to a person who doesn’t make you feel loved isn’t a person you should be with.
By Unwritten
Last updated on Oct 20, 2023
Photo: Wavebreakmedia / Getty Images Pro via Canva 
By Tanzeela Sareea
I have always wondered why people got depressed after a breakup until I had my own.
It was then that I realized what the word hurt really meant. The heart would ache so much that any other pain felt irrelevant at that point in time.
I got to thinking: are we hurting because the person we loved is no longer by our side, or because we miss how we felt around them? Is it actually about a significant other or just the feeling of being loved?
This is my personal opinion and it could greatly differ from others, but I truly feel that love is more about the feeling of being loved by a person than the person itself.
I have come to this realization because I have evaluated the situations around me.
I say this because if a person you loved in the beginning becomes the person you start to dislike or hate or become indifferent towards, it probably wasn’t about the person to begin with.
What you loved was the feeling of being loved by another person and the moment that feeling vanished, your love vanished for that person, too.
Another example is second chances.
If you fall in love solely with the person, then how is it that people date multiple times or get married multiple times?
They would rather be with a person that makes them feel loved, makes them a better version of who they currently are, than to hold on to a person who takes them for granted.
We have heard multiple stories of how two people fell in love because one was comforting the other after a bad breakup or a relationship crisis.
Even though one person feels horrible about their breakup or the fact that the person they love doesn’t love them back, they don’t hold onto it if they have another person by their side that makes them feel loved, needed and appreciated.
It is almost impossible to get over a person completely until you get another person in your life who makes you feel special and worthy again.
Sure, not everyone is compatible with everyone. But I will not rule out the possibility that there isn’t just one person you are supposed to end up with.
In a population of 7 billion, there are more people you are compatible with than you can even imagine.
Honestly, though, the most important factor is how the other person makes you feel. As long as someone can make you feel special and you can do the same, love will be in your lives forever.
I can safely say that love isn’t defined by a person; it’s a feeling that has no boundaries. Love is an emotion that can spread happiness if you’re with the right person and inflict pain if you’re with the wrong one.
It is absolutely essential to realize that sticking to a person who doesn’t make you feel loved isn’t a person you should be with at all.
There will be someone who will make you feel absolutely special, it’s just a matter of finding that person who makes you experience the happy side of love that you truly deserve.
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Tanzeela Sareea is an entrepreneur and hobbyist writer whose work has been featured on Unwritten and Project Wednesday. They focus on topics of travel, relationships, and psychology.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.
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