Wearing makeup and other things you can stop worrying about.
By Clay Andrews — Updated on Apr 13, 2023
Photo: Polonio Video / Shutterstock
Women can overanalyze things a lot. Especially in social situations.
This is not an over-generalization. A 2021 LinkedIn survey on stress and stress management found that 74 percent of women in the workforce were “very” or “somewhat” stressed, while only 61 percent of men said the same.
And when it comes to dating and men, women have even more reasons for stress, worry, and overanalysis.
However, a lot of this obsessing is really pointless. After all, the universe is vast and we’re all just small beings sailing through space on the crust of a tiny sphere of rock and water, what astronomer and author Carl Sagan called a “mote of dust, suspended on a sunbeam.”
So, why worry?
Here are 7 things women obsess about that don’t matter to men:
1. Being overweight
Women often obsess about their weight. Sure, there are guys who don’t want to date anyone who is severely overweight.
However, most men aren’t going to complain if you’re 10 or 20 pounds heavier than you think you ought to be — especially if he’s already in a relationship with you. We love you for who you are. If we didn’t, then we wouldn’t be with you, to begin with.
2. Wearing makeup (or not)
Unless you usually apply it very heavy-handedly, most men don’t notice the difference when you wear makeup or when you don’t. A lot of guys like the way you look naturally. If yours doesn’t, then he probably isn’t the right man for you anyway.
3. Asking him out
I know this is a big deal with a lot of women: They’re afraid to ask a guy out. In fact, many women think it’s the man’s job to ask out a woman.
And sure, most of the time things work that way. However, if he just isn’t noticing you, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking him out. The world will not end. I promise. If you want to date him, just take the initiative.
4. Who texts whom first
It doesn’t matter. It’s not a sign that he likes you or doesn’t like you. If you really want to see how he’s doing, text him yourself instead of obsessing about what it means or doesn’t mean when he doesn’t text you. All it means is that he didn’t text you.
5. What you order at dinner
Unless you’re ordering something disturbingly expensive that he will have to pay for, men really don’t care what you order at dinner. We’re not secretly judging you. We won’t think you’re fat if you don’t order the Caesar salad. Really. Just order what you want.
6. What men are thinking
Yeah, I know you want to connect with us. We’d like to connect with you too.
But really, our thoughts at any given moment aren’t that interesting. In fact, you’ll probably be bored to death by our typical thoughts. Only ask if you actually care about the answer (and more often than you may like the answer may have something to do with sports or work).
7. Your guy wants to do things without you
Everyone needs a need a little “me time” now and then. I promise you that just because he’s taking a little time to do his own thing or spend some time with his friends every once in a while that he isn’t pulling away emotionally or considering dumping you or having an affair.
In all likelihood, he’s just taking a step away from the relationship to do things that he’d rather do on his own or that he knows you wouldn’t enjoy.
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Clay Andrews is a relationship coach and founder of Attract the One. He specializes in helping people repair, save and build relationships.