Here’s how to actually flirt with men.
By Melissa Noble — Last updated on Jun 24, 2023
Photo: Vadym_Hunko/ Shutterstock
When it comes to dating and relationships, the alleged simplicity of men and the complexity of women is legendary.
So when it comes to how to flirt, logic may (incorrectly) tell you that men love nothing more than a no-nonsense shoulder tap and head nod to the nearest hotel. Why flirt when you can just get down to business, right?
But in reality, men take flirting just as seriously as women, and they love the subtle dance as much as we do.
So, if you don’t quite know how to flirt with a guy, here are five techniques no man can resist. Try them out the next time a good-looking man catches your eye.
Here are 5 simple flirting techniques no man can resist:
1. Go up to him and say hello
If you aren’t a learned scholar in the school of flirting, no worries. One universal thing among all men surveyed is how much they love it when a woman takes control and makes the first move. Think: eye contact. Think: being friendly. Think: smiling.
“Just come over and say hi. I really don’t need a lot. Smiling works wonders. I don’t see how you can go wrong with that tactic, just as long as you open with something friendly and funny.” —Adam, 30
2. Playfully tease him
No need to impress the tall, dark handsome guy in the corner with your impressive knowledge of Nietzsche (save it for the first date); instead, gently poke fun and laugh. Never act like a ditz, but do playfully tease. Men bond with each other this way, so their feelings won’t get hurt.
“I love it when a girl rips on me. Be playful and entertaining. You want to keep things upbeat.” —Nick, 25
3. Find him interesting
After you’ve said hello and shared a laugh, engage him in a conversation and actually listen to what he says. A good rule is to ask as many questions as you answer. You won’t earn points by trying to trump his IQ (or anyone else’s) with your own, but it also won’t hurt to offer some open-minded insight into the topic he raised.
“I hate it when I talk to a girl and I feel like she isn’t really listening to anything I say. Almost like she’s just pausing and waiting to talk again.” —Brian, 29
4. Compliment his physique
After you’ve poked fun at his girly drink and listened to his take on the oil spill, give him the eye and ask, “What’s your workout regime? You look great.” Feel a bit cliché? Maybe. But while most men don’t spend hours in front of the mirror beating themselves up because they don’t look like David Beckham, when it comes to his body, flattery will get you everywhere.
“I know I’m not the best-looking dude. But if a girl compliments my arms or says it looks like I take care of myself, or anything really, then I know it’s working for her, and that’s all that matters.” —Ivan, 33
5. Use subtle touching
If you haven’t already learned that no man can resist being touched, you should lightly touch his arm, leg, or the small of his back. But don’t be too forceful. A simple light touch on his arm, when you laugh at his joke, is all that’s needed to let him know you’re interested, ladies. Don’t paw all over the poor guy.
“I can’t stand it when a girl is too aggressive physically. Too much is made about ALL guys being horn dogs, so girls get the impression that the sluttier they act, the better. So not true.” —Phil, 23
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Melissa Noble is a freelance writer and blogger who writes about love, relationships, and trending news stories.