Here’s what dating is supposed to feel like.
By The Mind’s Journal — Last updated on Aug 16, 2023
Photo: gpointstudio via Canva
By Marisa Donnelly
Here’s what dating should feel like. Dating should be fun and adventurous and also terrible because it helps you figure out what you can put up with and what you can’t.
It’s an almost traumatic process that every single person goes through at one point, but it helps you find the right person.
Here are 4 ways to know if you’re dating the right person:
1. Dating should feel light
You should be able to walk arm-in-arm with the person you’re courting and feel the butterflies in your stomach.
You shouldn’t be stressed about the future quite yet, you shouldn’t be worried about what was before.
Instead, you should have a smile on your face and a heart full of fire.
2. Dating should feel simple
There shouldn’t be complications, mixed messages, or confusing signals.
You should be with someone who is clear with his or her intentions and how he or she feels about you.
And you should be able to think, feel, and express the same feelings without fear.
3. Dating should feel like an adventure you’re not afraid to embark on
Dating should be both exciting and comfortable.
You should have moments of giddy nervousness as you wait for him to open the car door for you or as you wait for her text.
You should be surprised at the first brush of your hands, first kiss, first touch.
But, you should also feel as if sharing the same wine glass or the same bowl of pasta is the most natural, comfortable thing in the world.
4. Dating should feel like the rest of your life is beginning
It’s not that you’ve made relationships the center of your life, but that you’re starting a new chapter with this new person by your side.
And suddenly you’re not afraid of what’s coming your way or how the two of you are bonding together — you are simply walking forward with your heart open wide.
Here’s what dating shouldn’t feel like:
1. Dating shouldn’t feel like pressure
It shouldn’t feel like you’re supposed to be or act a certain way.
When you’re with someone, you shouldn’t feel that you have to change the person you are to make them happy or satisfied.
You shouldn’t have to worry about being anything or anyone other than who you are.
2. Dating shouldn’t feel like expectations
It shouldn’t feel like the other person is wanting you to give more than you can or that he or she is ‘owed’ something from you.
This is not a transaction or a ‘deal.’
You should never feel the need to give parts of yourself, ever — especially when you’re not ready.
3. Dating shouldn’t feel like twisting in your belly
That’s telling you that something isn’t right.
It should feel safe.
4. Dating shouldn’t feel insincere
You shouldn’t feel like the other person is holding back or hiding something from you.
You shouldn’t imagine the potential relationship like a puzzle, one that you’re supposed to solve.
This isn’t a game.
It isn’t meant to be anything other than genuine emotions expressed and built upon.
5. Dating shouldn’t be something you fear
Because with the right person, the right timing, and the right relationship, the pieces fall into place.
Because when you’re with the person you’re meant to find, everything will feel right — even if it’s imperfect and messy.
Because real love is never perfect, but it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t leave you confused, and doesn’t take anything but your breath away.
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Marisa Donnelly is a freelance writer and editor who has been featured in the Huffington Post, Bustle, Elite Daily, Better Homes and Gardens, and more.
This article was originally published at The Mind’s Journal. Reprinted with permission from the author.