3 Psychological Techniques To Subconsciously Make The Person You Love Give You The Time & Affection You Deserve

It shouldn’t be that hard to earn the attention of someone you love.

By Rhonda Cort
Last updated on Dec 22, 2023

Photo: ProWeddingStudio | Shutterstock

Do you ever feel like no relationship will ever work? At least not the way you’d like it to be — easy, simple, loving, adventurous, fun?

Maybe things started out great — they asked to see you consistently, phoned every day, and texted you back often. Then it all fades away and you’re left wondering what happened. Suddenly they forgot to call or show up late (or not at all). Did they even apologize? Maybe they missed your birthday or seem to only be “available” for that late-night booty call.

Are a little bit of love, affection, and attention too much to expect?

I’ve had this happen to me more than I care to admit. I felt helpless. Powerless. I tried to do more and be more. It was painful and the pattern kept repeating itself.

Until one day, I discovered I was not unlovable, I was not unlucky. There was no greater power “controlling” my love life. It was me and I could choose a different outcome.

There are simple steps to take back control of your love life, too. The techniques below aren’t about playing games — they’re about relationship dynamics.

Often when we like someone, we make ourselves too available, too soon. Usually, before that person has committed themselves to us emotionally.

Try these 3 psychological techniques to get the time and affection you deserve from someone you love:

1. Start focusing on yourself.

First of all, if you’re not in a committed relationship with this person, start dating other people.

If you are already committed, then focus on other areas of your life (aside from them). Focus on your self-growth. Pick up a new hobby. Start hanging out with your friends more.

A person has to feel the coldness of your absence before they can appreciate the warmth of your presence. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

However you like to phrase it, when you start focusing on yourself and the things that make you happy, oftentimes the person you love begins to notice and gravitate towards you.

2. Don’t cater to their every whim.

Go slow if they start showing more interest in you. Don’t cater to their every whim.

Think about that “pushover” nice guy — the one who is so sweet and says yes to everything. It’s easy to lose respect for someone who doesn’t stand up for themselves and their own wants.

So instead, fill your schedule with things you have always wanted to do for yourself. Don’t rearrange your schedule or cancel things to be with them. If they want to see you, they’ll have to wait a week (or whenever it works for what you already have planned).

You’re worth the wait.

3. Stop giving them your time and attention.

If you notice that they have their own life going and don’t make time to include you in it, you should do the same. Why waste time on someone who won’t give you theirs? Cut your losses if they don’t show interest.

Don’t you dare call, text or email them. Duct tape your hands behind your back if you must (kidding!)

Every time you give in and get no response, a little piece of your self-esteem chips away. You appear more desperate and feel out of control. There’s no worse attraction-killer than the stench of a needy, desperate person.

Don’t take personal offense if they don’t come around — at the end of the day, they just aren’t the one for you. At least not for right now.

Maybe they’ll come back in the future, maybe they won’t. Keep dating other people. This probably wasn’t your first love. It may not be your last.

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Rhonda Cort is a relationship expert and go-to person for being a high-value woman in relationships, business, and life.

Source: YourTango