Anti-Masturbation Movement

Only A Real Man Could Give Up These 2 Things For A Month… We Think

Here’s why you should consider it.

“Masturbation is only beating yourself,” my dad likes to say, and it was something I did quite often — as in daily; sometimes multiple times a day if I was particularly hungover. Though I never exactly viewed this habit as a problem, I soon came to realise that going a month without polishing my pube-staff was going to be much harder than I first expected.

During the month of August I will be forgoing masturbation and booze entirely, as part of a challenge from lauded lifestyle blogger, author of the bestseller 4-Hour Workweek and all-around superhuman Tim Ferriss.

The challenge, coined “NOBNOM” (NO Booze, NO Masturbating), is simple in its instruction: you can’t masturbate or drink for 30 days, starting August 1st.

Why in the hell would a man put himself through this, you ask? Good freaking question. Ferriss insists those who complete the challenge will notice a dramatic surge in testosterone and sex drive, an increase in focus and cognitive endurance and, perhaps most appealingly, a 50 to 100% increase in productivity.

“When you aren’t nursing hangovers, chewing up three to four hours per night with friends, destroying your sleep with booze, or procrastinating with porn — miracle of miracles — you get more done! In my mind, this alone easily justifies a 30-day booze and porn fast.”

Aside from the benefits outlined by Ferriss, the challenge could also remedy erectile dysfunction in men, as a recent study discovered a link between over-stimulation to porn and erectile dysfunction. A long period without masturbation was found to cure this affliction in some cases.

But is it all worth it? Well, as AskMen’s guinea pig and anti-masturbation tour-guide for the next four weeks, I’ll be letting you in on my journey through weekly installments.

It’s important to first note that his challenge isn’t an entirely original idea. Ferriss likely borrowed his anti-booze and masturbation campaign from Reddit’s popular NoFap movement, where participants (known as “fapstronauts”) took a pledge to go without masturbation for days, months, or years at a time, at their own discretion. Except with NOBNOM, we don’t get alcohol, either.

Also worth mentioning: Sex is allowed! Which is great — unless you’re in a situation similar to mine: I am currently single with no access to a friend with benefits, unless I’m willing to pay serious coinage for it. (Which I’m not. Not yet, anyway.)

Adding salt to this wound, results from Indiana University’s Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior reveal that I fit quite uncomfortably into the age group of highest-frequency masturbators (25 to 29), who reportedly go at themselves four times a week. Well, fantastic.

To motivate participants, three of the almost 5,000 members (as of this publish date) will have the chance to win $500 of Ferriss’ projected millions. (Too generous, really.) To win the cash, participants must first sign up for the challenge on Lift (a daily coaching website and mobile app), complete the challenge, and help others in their attempts to complete the challenge by posting advice on the NOBNOM message board. The three deemed most helpful will be $500 richer –though I assume the funds will each be depleted by September 1st, having been spent on bundles of booze and porn website subscriptions.

Week One: Welcome to Hell (No Pitchforks Allowed)

On Day 4, I was greeted by the devil who graciously informed me that instead of devouring everything in my fridge and between my cushions, I could (and should) be masturbating. It would seem to offset the pleasures from jerking it, I’ve resorted to eating everything in sight. Is dopamine-release through food a documented fact? Because I’m eating my ass off to find out.

Other than the relentless eating, though, I haven’t noticed much change. Except what was expected: being exceptionally horny and tempted to touch my disregarded appendage as if it were begging me to — which I assume might happen via hallucinations come week four. There was one night I had difficulty sleeping, where a nice jerkoff session would have been nice, but, you know, rules are rules.

Instead of giving into temptation, I visited NOBNOM’s message board to find that some participants had already relapsed (some as early as Day 2), while others were experiencing better sex (“the best in years”) and killer productivity. One man cited uncertainty concerning the challenge’s parameters, admitting he had jerked, but didn’t come, and wanted to know if he failed the challenge. After some feedback, he decided to start over.

Participants have been generous in their suggestions to fight back. It’s a community in that sense. Some go running, others snap an elastic band on their wrist, some cook, and others do drugs. I just eat a shit-tonne. Obviously, in the beginning phases of the challenge, some are adopting healthier habits while others are developing worse. Which begs the question: Is this unnatural abstinence worth it, and is it even safe?

As of now, I’m not convinced anything greatly noticeable will come from the challenge. But I do identify as a bit of a critic, so who’s to say. Some people truly believe they’re reaping benefits, but whether this is due to NOBNOM or just a placebo is anyone’s guess. But I’ll definitely fill you in as I find out.

Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go, like, walk the dog or something.