15 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never, Ever Ignore
The red flags have been waved, but are you paying attention?
By Brenda Della Casa — Updated on Mar 26, 2023
Photo: antoniodiaz/ Shutterstock 
Ever feel as though you always find yourself in situations with the slightly shady?
Take off the rose-colored glasses and pay attention to these bright relationship red flags to watch out for. Your sanity (and friends who care about you) will thank you.
Here are 15 relationship red flags you should never, ever ignore:
1. He has no boundaries
Whether it’s a “joke” at your expense, language you don’t appreciate, or pressing you to share information you have been clear you deem private, anyone who doesn’t respect your right to your own space (emotional, personal, physical, or mental) is going to have you going from 0-to-frustrated in no time.
2. He spills your secrets
Everyone has a slip-up now and then, but when the person you have sworn to secrecy happens to slip right in front of the one person you asked them not to, chances are it wasn’t an accident. If it happens twice, you’ve got yourself a bonafide frenemy.
3. He freaks out
In college, your roommate leaving you at the bar was a dragged-out fight, drama-worthy, but we are all adults here. Unless there is a fire or a real reason to scream, yell, send 100 rapid-fire texts, and run around like Charlie Sheen at a Hollywood Hills after-party, take freakouts as frustrating proof that the person in front of you can’t control their emotions.
Whether it’s due to anxiety, immaturity, and/or a tendency to bully, it’s not something you need to deal with.
4. He stonewalls you
They are mad at you, or you have hit a topic they dislike discussing. You know what that means: you’re suddenly being told they won’t listen to what you have to say by jumping off the phone, ignoring your texts/calls, reminding you of their stress, or saying it’s not the right time (again).
No one likes discussing touchy topics, but if you are never heard, perhaps you should move on and converse with someone who cares about the feelings and person behind the words you’re trying to say.
5. He’s a liar
If your new pal or partner changes the truth when they don’t like the way a conversation is going, it’s one of the huge relationship red flags to watch out for. No trust, no relationship. End of story.
6. He gets too close, too soon
Some people “click,” but bonds take time to build, so guess what? They don’t love you on week two, and that new acquaintance has yet to earn the bestie title.
7. He disrespects you
Everyone gets upset, stressed, and pissed, but how we deal under pressure gives others a clear view of our character. Calling someone names or treating someone like your verbal punching bag says more about them (and what you’ll be dealing with every time they get upset) than the words coming out of their mouth.
Note: This is true even if they are berating that annoying customer service agent on the phone. People who can treat anyone that way will eventually treat everyone that way.
8. He makes “suggestions” on how to improve your looks or life
It may feel like he or she is helpful or caring, but giving unsolicited advice in these areas is a real sign that someone wants to control you. If you’re happy with yourself, he should be, too. Take note unless you mention that you want to change something and he offers to help.
9. He always wants something from you
You’ve realized that the random “thinking of you” text always has a string. Friends should always be there for one another, but if someone is always looking to take a, it’s time to tell them to take a walk.
10. He never accepts responsibility
We will all do things to screw up, and unless we’re talking about huge betrayals, it’s often how we handle ourselves after the screw-up that determines the fate of our relationships. If the person you are dealing with has an excuse for the inexcusable, tread lightly.
Other clues you’re dealing with a blame-shifter: He blames all of his exes for break-ups and bosses for job losses and plays the victim in situations where they have equal control.
11. Your friends hate him
Your real friends love you and want the best for you, and if one person says something, you can chalk it up to a personality clash. But if you hear comments or crickets every time you mention him or her, sit up and take notice.
12. He hates your friends
Not everyone will want to go out for a drink with every new person they meet, but something is up if your new girl or guy constantly comments to get you to question your relationships with your friends or family members. Your guard should be, too.
13. He’s manipulative
It sounds crazy (because it is), but some people will tell you that you have said and done things you didn’t and that you’re overreacting when you’re not. These are the same people who will kick you in the shin and say “ouch” either literally or figuratively (literally would be both funny and insane).
Gaslighting and crazy-making are common attributes of abusers, so steer clear.
14. He never makes time to see you
Nowadays, it is common for people to text more than speak to one another, but if you’ve been texting for more than 10 days with no plans to meet up, you’re likely one of many women he’s garnering attention from. That’s not a relationship worthy of your time.
Stay friends if you want to, but move. Keep your “fan” status for your favorite pop star.
15. You have an uneasy feeling
Intuition is a real thing, and we all have it. Trust yours.
More for You:
Zodiac Signs That Are Terrible At Relationships (And Why)20 Little Things Women Do That Guys *Secretly* LoveWhat The ‘Ideal’ Female Body Looks Like Around The World5 Little Ways Men Wish They Could Be Loved — Every Single Day
Brenda Della Casa is the author of Cinderella Was a Liar, former managing editor of Preston Bailey, a Huffington Post Blogger, and a contributor for Divalicious.
This article was originally published at Huffington Post. Reprinted with permission from the author.
Source: YourTango
