You want a woman who knows what she wants and takes charge.
By Laura Lifshitz — Last updated on Jul 03, 2023
Photo: chaoss / Shutterstock
If the millennium is the era of the big butt, then it also needs to be the era of the dominant woman. We have gotten a bad reputation for far too long.
According to supposed legend, we are:
DomineeringWant to control everythingEmasculating
As well as other false rumors. As a matter of fact, dominant women make the best bedmates, friends, and wives. Yes, wives. The whole “emasculating” rumor is merely spread by weak men who want their partners to be beneath them. In other words, boys who don’t truly want a real woman, period.
Here are 10 reasons dominant women make the best wives:
1. We initiate sex
Men have been complaining since the end of time that women aren’t assertive enough in bed, but that’s untrue. There are those of us women who are, but you haven’t noticed. A dominant woman will initiate sex and then you can brag to your friends about how much your wife enjoys sex.
2. We encourage you
Dominant women want men who are just as strong as we are. We will encourage you as your life partner to excel in your career and in life. We will root for you because we expect you to do well, just as we have those same expectations for ourselves.
3. We expect you to excel
Dominant women get a bad reputation for being pushy. Why is it so awful for women to want their partners to excel and go further? Instead of taking the “pushy” slant, see it this way: We believe you can succeed. We believe in you more than you probably believe in yourself. And yes, this means telling you when you’re not trying your best.
4. We aren’t shy
We’re not shy about trying new things in bed. I can’t guarantee you that every dominant woman is going to be a “freak in the sheets and a lady on the streets,” but I can say that, more often than not, your dominant wife will be willing to try new things even if you haven’t thought of them.
5. We are fearless
A dominant woman will come to your work events and meet your friends openly and without fear. You won’t have us hanging on your arm, afraid to say a word. Instead, we will compliment you, our strong man, and make you look ten times better. Yes, I just said that.
6. We aren’t damsels in distress
I know you men have falsely believed for centuries how, if you find a damsel in distress, you can turn her into the woman you want and be a big fat hero. But that’s just BS. If you find a “distressed damsel,” all you get are her problems. And guess what? You’re now the responsible “big hero” to solve them. A dominant woman is capable of taking care of herself. She won’t ask you to be her daddy.
7. We care for ourselves
Dominant women don’t sit back waiting for someone to take care of them. We take care of ourselves, so that way we enter partnerships being “our best selves” so you, our husband and partner, can be HIS best self, too. We value our independence and therefore have a lot of character and strength to bring to the marriage. It’s to your benefit, not your detriment.
8. We make you stronger, not weaker
If you’re a strong man and you’re married to a dominant woman, you’re already stronger. When you take two strong pillars and use them to make a structure, do they get weaker or sturdier? The answer is B, sturdier.
Your dominant wife does not emasculate you — she strengthens you and supports your choices, allowing you to grow deep roots in your life goals and character.
9. We want you to challenge us
We don’t want a partner who says, “Yes, ma’am” to everything we ask. This isn’t an S&M club, it’s a marriage! We want someone who will question us and make us grow, deepen our roots and become better as people. We want a partner who we are proud of and who can push us.
10. We have our stuff together
If you marry a dominant wife, you will have a woman who has her life together. From kids to the house, we will have a plan and dream for everything that we see or touch. We will want the best for you and your families, and we will provide you with a great life.
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Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, and marriage. Her work has been featured on YourTango, New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.