These habits are destroying your relationship.
By Amanda Green
Last updated on Sep 28, 2023
Photo: dragana991 | Canva
It’s time to give up your vices and substitute more positive behavior in their place. Where better to try this out than in our relationships?
Every couple has their own unique blend of struggles, but here are 10 bad habits of action and communication that most couples could stand to give up.
This attempt may only last a couple of days, but who knows? In the end, you might want to give up your bad habits permanently.
Here are 10 destructive relationship habits to urgently give up:
1. You say, “You always …”
When you disagree, speak in “I” statements about your own feelings. Don’t try to tell your partner how he or she feels or what he or she does. Instead, say, “I feel …”.
2. You take “I love you” lightly
It’s not just a way to end phone calls or something to abbreviate a text message. You worked hard to find — and keep! — this special connection. Say, “I love you” out loud and in person.
3. You never, ever shower together
Get in there together sometimes! After a while, couples stop noticing each other’s bodies. The intimate act of washing your loved one (and all the stuff that can occur during and after) is worth taking turns under the shower head.
4. You email each other way too much
Instead of emailing your sweetheart a link to that funny YouTube video or posting something on a Facebook wall, share your thoughts on paper. Write a haiku or a knock-knock joke. Doodle. Check “yes” (not “no”). When was the last time you really looked at your partner’s — or anyone else’s? — handwriting?
5. You forget to say, “Please”
It’s easy to fall into the habit of just telling your partner to do something. But sharing your life with someone is a gift. So say “Please” and “Thank you”.
6. You distance yourself after a rough patch
Touch your partner on the face or arms before bringing up a tough subject — it works much more effectively than words do. Then say what you need to say. This way you’re keeping the connection alive.
7. You constantly complain
Instead of complaining, try to tell your partner three things that you appreciate about him/her or the relationship every day.
8. You hyper-focus on everything he does wrong (and think he’s a mind reader)
Because he can’t. Instead, remember that he will never think like a woman, and focus on what he does for you and acknowledge it. And if you want something else, ask for it.
9. You avoid couples therapy
It’s important to be proactive and find support before it gets worse. There is a multitude of marriage education resources on the web, ranging from counselors, coaches, ministers, psychologists, non-profit organizations, etc.
10. You give him what you assume he wants, rather than asking
Instead of assuming you know what your partner needs to feel loved, ask him. If love for your partner is more hugs and kisses, give them. If love is a night out with the guys, give it to him. Show your partner his kind of love — check out the 5 love languages to find out what it is — for the ultimate loving experience.
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Amanda Green is a writer with experience in copywriting, branded content, social media, and editorial.