What Is Mutual Masturbation?

3 Reasons You & Your Partner Should Play Solo… Together

Masturbation is a normal, healthy and all-around awesome practice.

And yet, it’s something that often goes under-discussed between couples. But how come? After all, people of all ages do it, and it’s popular regardless of gender: according to the 2015 Indiana University National Sex Study, approximately 90% of men and 74% of women have masturbated (and those are just the ones who were willing to admit it).

So, if you’re currently in a relationship, chances are the both of you are doing at least a little self-loving on the side.

And why wouldn’t you? There are tons of benefits to masturbation, from stress reduction to sleep aid to higher overall sexual confidence. Solo sex sessions can also enhance your coupled sex life, helping penis owners improve their sexual stamina, and women (who often have more complicated relationships to their own pleasure) become more orgasmic.

But there’s another way that masturbation can boost coupled sex life: mutual masturbation.

While there’s nothing wrong with masturbation separately, sharing your self-love with someone you love can also have serious benefits.

For some people, mutual masturbation harkens back to an earlier era, before they were ready for penetrative sex. In this context, mutual masturbation is often treated like a kind of sexual loophole, a way for two people to experience sex and orgasms together without actually doing the deed.

But mutual masturbation can also be part of a varied and healthy sex life in relationships alongside penetrative sex, as well. So here are a few reasons why you and your partner should turn your sexual solos into a duet:

3 Benefits of Mutual Masturbation

1. It’s Seriously Sexy

If you’re an average guy, you’ve probably watched a fair amount of porn in your life. Well, consider this: Instead of watching strangers getting sexy on a screen, you’re watching someone you know in real life do it right in front of you, moaning and stroking and close enough to touch.

In fact, mutual touching can definitely be a very sexy addition during mutual masturbation! You could even switch back and forth between each of your touching yourselves and then each of you touching the other person, like a sort of manual-stimulation 69.

One of the things that sets masturbation and sex apart is that masturbation is generally a very private act. The fact that your partner is giving you a front row seat to such an intimate experience — and vice versa — is extremely hot. For many people, it can feel like a voyeuristic rush, like you are witnessing something that no other person gets to see.

For lots of people, there is something undeniably arousing about seeing a partner take their pleasure into her own hands — not just because of the clear sexual context, but also because it can be really hot when someone is confident in pleasuring themself, and good at it, too.

2. It Can Be a Learning Experience

If you’ve never watched your partner masturbate before, you may be tempted to pull out a bucket of popcorn and a drink and enjoy the show.

But instead of sitting there in awe while they get themself off, consider paying close attention to what they’re doing — especially if your partner’s anatomy is different from yours.

Why? Because no one knows how to pleasure your partner better than they do, and if, for instance, she has a clitoris and you have a penis, she knows a lot better than you do what feels good to her clitoris!

Unfortunately, new lovers do not come with an instruction manual. Every person likes different things below the belt, and the best way to discover the right way to touch somebody is to let them show you how they like to be touched. Of course, talking about it is a great way to learn, but some people are visual learners who will find watching it happen more helpful.

So, if that’s you, while you’re masturbating together, take note of the way your partner touches themself and how their body responds to each new movement. Do they go fast or slow? What kind of pressure are they using? The more you pick up from their self-loving practices, the better lover you can be to them!

3. It’s a Great Way to Break a Sexual Dry Spell

For people in longer-term relationships, it’s no secret that the sex sometimes seems to dry up.

Whether it’s due to stress or other health issues, a lack of free time, falling into a sexual rut or another common relationship problem, sometimes you find that what had started out as a hot and heavy, sex-filled relationship has slowly become all but sexless.

From this new unsexy place, it can be hard to know how to get back to where you started from, and the pressure of fixing things may itself start to feel too stressful for sexy times.

However, mutual masturbation is a great tool in such scenarios. It can be considered sort of a midway point between sex and its absence — it’s a way for two people to experience sexual pleasure together without many of the things that make actual sex tricky: there’s no performance anxiety or erectile issues, and it may be easier for the two of you to sync your climaxes.

Getting into the habit of masturbating together, then, can be Step 1 in bringing some sexiness back into your relationship, and make it easier to then progress onto having more involved sex again.

How to Initiate Mutual Masturbation

Now that you’ve got the “why” down, let’s talk about the “how.” As tempting as it might be to simply invite yourself into your partner’s next solo session, it’s safer to introduce the subject ahead of time.

Especially in hetero relationships, women may be more likely to feel uncomfortable at first due to societal pressures such as “slut-shaming.” If that’s the case, let her know how sexy you think it would be, and assure her that you will take it as slow as she needs.

To set the mood and help her relax, try lighting some candles (aromatherapy massage candles, anyone?) and turning on a sensual playlist.

Then, sit facing or lie next to your partner on the bed or somewhere else that’s comfortable, and take turns playing with yourself while the other watches.

If your partner feels uncomfortable being face-to-face, you can always sit behind them and have them lean back against you while they masturbate. If they’re OK with it, you can try running your hands all over their body, kissing their neck and engaging other hot spots while they do their thing.

Once you’re both feeling warmed up and comfortable, stop taking turns and start working together — turn your solos into a duet. As you get closer and closer to the edge, you can try holding eye contact and mimicking each other’s rhythms to bring yourselves to orgasm, simultaneously!

Then all that’s left to do is snuggle close and share the intimate moment together.

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Source: AskMen