You need to learn to walk before you can learn to run. There is no shame in admitting what you don’t know … only shame in not bothering to try and find out.
Well now there is really no excuse – here is everything you needed to know, but were afraid to ask. Start here and then explore other areas of the site to refine and develop your knowledge.
For those who think they already know it all – check this out, you might be amazed at your knowledge gaps, plus the myths and misinformation you have picked up over the years!
Her First Time
Most women are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sex. Will I enjoy it? Will it hurt? Will I satisfy my man? Is he the right one? These are all questions that most women think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex will not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most women agree that the first time often hurts a little, is uncomfortable, and is often very clumsy. Once you get passed the first few times, you will start enjoying all the pleasures that this type of intimacy has to offer.
The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many women often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it or because their boyfriend is expecting it. Neither of these should be a part of your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.
A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is he pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?
Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the guy you are with really cares for you enough, he will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it. You do not want to give it up to a guy who is worried more about his stature with his friends then your feelings.
- Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
- Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won’t come barging in.
- Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have exploredforeplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and his body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
- Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the topic.
- Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether you finger yourself or your partner fingers you, stretching out your vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.
- Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will honor your wishes.
- Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.
- There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on your concerns. If you want to be in control, then we suggest having your partner lie on his back, and you can straddle him “cow girl style”. If you would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.
- If your partner has erection difficulties, or ejaculates prematurely – either of which often happens the first few times – be supportive. This can be one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a young man, and if not dealt with properly, can result in ongoing problems. If erection problems do happen, try to stimulate him a little, and take some time before you try to put it in again.
- The most important thing you need to know is to practice safe sexby using protection. Whether it be to protect you from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Just because there is no excuse not to use them doesn’t mean that guys will do everything they can to get away from them, and be prepared to hear everything from it makes me go limp, to it takes away from the pleasure, to they were sold out. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.
Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember, the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.
His First Time
Most men are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sexualintercourse. Will I enjoy it? Will I satisfy her? Is she the right one? Will I be able to get it up? These are all questions that many men think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex may not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most men agree that the first time is often fast and very clumsy.
The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many men often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it and they are ashamed of being virgins. This should not be your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.
A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is she or anyone else pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?
Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the gal you are with really cares for you enough, she will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it.
- Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
- Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won’t come barging in.
- Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have exploredforeplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how both your bodies work, as well as having played together, will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
- Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with it.
- Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will respect your wishes.
- If you have erection difficulties, or ejaculate prematurely – something that often happens the first few times – stay positive. Don’t stress it, since stressing it will only cause it to happen again and again. Try to relax. If your erection comes back, it does, and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. You can try later that day, the next day, next week, or whenever you want, so don’t get yourself down. If you have chosen a good partner, she will understand this and try to help you out with some manual or oral stimulation.
- Just like men sometimes have erection problems from anxiety, women may have trouble getting wet (known as Excessive Dryness). Be patient and do everything that you would expect her to do if you had the male version of the problem. The problem can be solved to some degree using a water-based lubricant like K-Y Jelly. You can find it and many other lubricants in our online store.
- Be sure you are both open enough to talk about the experience afterwards, even if not right away. Whether it was as hot as a Spanish soap opera, or as embarrassing as a skit from American Pie, be sure to talk about it. If you can’t talk afterwards, then you are simply not ready to move to this level. Communication is the key!
- The most important thing you need to know is to enjoy safe sexby using protection. Whether it be to protect your partner from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Althoughcondoms may not always be that pleasant, they are much better then contracting something like genital warts. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.
- We shouldn’t have to say this, but we will mention it anyway. Do not go bragging to others about what happened. Sex is something you share with your partner, and there will usually be privacy expectations. It can be a major event in your life, one that you’d love to share with a friend or two, but find out what your partner’s wishes are first, and respect them.
Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember that the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.
A good kisser knows how to pace themselves, has an active imagination, and understands what their partner likes or may not expect, but will enjoy. When kissing, remember the following: never slobber (though moistened lips are fine and helpful), don’t stare and always pay attention with your non-visual senses (touch, hearing, etc.). Also, there is no such thing as ‘too slow’.
If you are unhappy with a kiss then chances are your partner is going to feel the same way. The best thing you can do is relax, and not just in your body, but your face, lips, neck, everywhere. Be relaxed and confident with how you kiss. Let yourself go with the flow of the moment and savour every second of it.
While you are kissing, remember to use your hands, nose, and breath to entice your partner’s senses. Everyone enjoys being touched anbd caressed while being kissed. Use your hands to gently caress the cheek, the jawbone, the back, arms, and collarbone. A gentle exhalation of air (remember that good mouth hygiene is important), can provide your partner with extremely light, warm feelings on their face, mouth and neck that are quite arousing.
Never “attack” someone when you kiss them, unless they like that sort of thing – and most people don’t. Treat their lips like you would a dangerous creature. Move in slow and prepare for the kiss. Initial contact should be lips only, firm, yet gentle. React to how your partner is kissing. If they speed up, speed up with them. If they slow down, follow suit. Try to synchronize your actions with one another and always pay attention to their body language.
The following is a list of some simple techniques to spice up a kiss:
Usually romantic or sexual in nature (so not usual for a ‘first date’, in which one person’s tongue touches the other’s tongue and usually enters his or her mouth.
Kiss between the eyes, on the tip of the nose, and then on the lips.
Top and Bottom
Kiss the top lip, then the bottom lip, then both.
Run the tip of your tongue along your partner’s lips.
Gently kiss, nibble, and suck on the earlobe.
Trace the neck and jawbone with your lips and tongue.
The Big Tease
Kiss everywhere but the lips, until your partner pulls you to their lips.
Rub your finger gently across their lips and then go in for a kiss.
Look in their eyes and whisper you want to kiss them. Press your lips gently to theirs’, caress their lips with yours and then give her/him a passionate kiss.
Gently brush cheeks with your partner.
Gently rub the tips of your noses together.
Brush eyelashes with your partner. Make a fluttering motion of the eyelash by quickly opening and closing the eye.
Make a small “O” with your lips. Press your lips against your partner’s skin and suck softly. Lift your lips off a little, move over slightly, and repeat.
Cover your lips with tape and get your partner’s attention. When they come near, make noises like you’re trying to tell them something and motion as if you can’t get the tape off. Once they remove the tape from you to hear what you’re trying to say, tell them, “I’ve been saving my lips all day just for you!” Then kiss them passionately.
Place a strawberry in your mouth without your partner knowing. Crush the strawberry in your mouth and feed some to your partner while you kiss.
Cold as Ice
Put a piece of ice in your mouth without your partner knowing. Kiss them on the neck and let the ice softly touch their skin.
Snuggle up behind your partner and proceed to cover their back with little kisses.
When your lover comes home from work, or wherever, wash their feet and give them a massage. While you’re giving them the massage, lean over and give little kisses on their feet.
Try not to kiss your partner all day. Throughout the day leave Hershey’s kisses or some sort of romantic candy in places that they will know it’s for them. Later in the day start leaving notes with poetry or quotes on kissing for them. After that, leave a love letter describing how you’d like to kiss them and the satisfaction that it would bring you. Once you feel they’ve had enough teasing, spend sometime rewarding them with lots of kissing! This is rewarding for yourself as well, since you’ve been thinking about kissing them all day too.
Red Light Kiss
When in the car with your partner, every time you stop at a red light, lean over and kiss them until the light goes green.
Record the sound of yourself blowing a kiss. Then either e-mail it to your partner or leave a note somewhere with instructions to press play.
Record on a videotape or web cam yourself blowing kisses to your partner and tell them how much you miss them.
Draw or animate a pair of lips kissing. Then send it to your sweetheart.
The Lost Kiss
Look around your partner, looking under things and appearing like you’re searching for something. When asked what you’re looking for, say “I’ve been looking for a kiss all day but I can’t find one anywhere. Oh wait, I found it.” Then give your partner a kiss.
Wake Up Kiss
Before your partner awakes, lean over and kiss their cheek. Then give soft kisses across their cheek until you reach their lips.
Make Up Kisses
At the end of the day, sit down with your partner and ask them how his/her day went. Silently keep track of all the bad things that happened during the day. When he/she is finished, give them a kiss for each one. When asked what you are doing, say you are helping make up for all those bad things.
Make a post-it note trail that leads to your lips. On each note leave a lipstick kiss and an arrow or clue to find the next note. Place the last note over or near your lips.
Full Body Meltdown
While your partner is laying down, slip over to them and start running your tongue, very gently, up their leg, arms, reaching their lips give them a full passionate kiss.
The Grandious Tease
Softly run your fingers across your partner’s lips, lure them in to kissing you, but before you kiss, pull away and then go in for the kiss, then pull away again, etc., etc.
So now you know how to ‘kiss with a difference’, all you need to do is go try it out. Remember, a badly executed kiss is a real turn-off, but a great kiss is memorable and can be totally seductive…
There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger inserted into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may find the insertion of a sex toy or penis very arousing and stimulating. This section contains all the essential guidelines for enjoying anal intercourse.
Some people are not very open to experimentation with this body part, as they are scared that it will cause great amounts of pain, or the whole thought of it is grosses them out. In any event, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t try to force them, it will be a horrible experience for them (and ultimately for you) if they are not comfortable with the idea.
If you are trying to convince your partner to explore this world, using something as large as a penis is definitely not the way to get started. You should start by getting them comfortable being touched in the area, then move up to using a finger or two, and then, when ready, finally moving up to intercourse. Please refer to the anal fingering to please women, or prostate stimulation to please men sections to learn more about anal play, plus using anal sex toys and analingus. Until your partner is ready to receive, their anxieties will cause their anal sphincter to tighten, and trying to push through will be extremely painful, so be patient!
Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this type of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your penis or sex toy has been inside the rectum, don’t put them inside anywhere else until you have washed them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Make sure to use copious amounts of a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times.
The Largest Misconceptions of Anal Intercourse
Most people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. As with any form of intercourse, the anus, like the vagina, must become used to the activity. Any woman who remembers her first time having sex probably recalls a painful experience. In fact, the first couple of times were probably painful and not that enjoyable. Did they stop having sex? In almost all cases, they didn’t. Anal intercourse falls under the same guidelines for both genders; it takes practice to get accustomed to the activity. Pain is usually a sign that something is being performed incorrectly, not that the act is wrong. In most cases pain is due to a few reasons: the receiver is too tense and tightening, the giver is pushing too hard, there isn’t enough lubricant, or that the penis or toy is still too big to put in (based on current experience levels). Using fingers and smaller toys is the best way to get used to the feeling, and it is advised that you increase size a little at a time. Once you have become comfortable with the idea and concepts you will probably find it very pleasurable.
The 5 Major Guidelines
- Always use a lubricant. Unlike the vagina, the small amount of mucus a rectum produces is completely insufficient for anal intercourse. Therefore anal penetration should always be accompanied with an ample supply of lubricant. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible and highly recommended.
- Stop immediately if your partner asks you to stop. If your partner is too tense to experiment, all forms of anal penetration will cause a great deal of pain. We are not saying to stop trying completely, just don’t push yourself onto your partner, as this will only result in a bad experience for them, and make them less willing to try again.
- Take it slow. When experimenting with anal sex for the first few times, go slow. There is no rush and if you take your time you will probably both enjoy the experience. There should not be a great deal of forcing required. If lubricated properly, an object should slide in somewhat easily. We recommend using your fingers ahead of time to loosen them up first for the first few times.
- Sufficient desire alone does not guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Read the other four points.
- Always communicate with your partner. As with any sexual activity, communication is essential. Talk about what you want to do, discuss beforehand your desires, tell your partner what you like and don’t like while engaging in anal intercourse. Basically, be open about your preferences and feelings, and, be receptive to theirs.
Understanding the Anus and the Rectum
A minority of men and women respond with orgasms to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions – and a small minority through the sheer excitement of being penetrated anally. For men, an orgasm may be experienced because of pressure applied to the prostate gland. They are no doubt responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb. Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies.
The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces, but feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Small amounts may remain in the rectum. This is one of the reasons that it is recommended to use condoms during anal intercourse.
The rectum is not straight – see the sexual anatomy diagrams. After the short anal canal that connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body, sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops towards the front of the body again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you lose your grip, it won’t slip into the rectum and become temporarily irretrievable.
If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system (voluntary), which means you can tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system (involuntary). The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety. It may cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the person is trying to relax.
There is the risk of sphincter tone (tightness) loss over time due to repeated dilation for insertive intercourse. Stool incontinence (poor control) can occur when anal sphincter tone decreases; this problem has to be surgically corrected if it becomes chronic. This is another very good reason to take things slowly and to never force anal intercourse! Everyone’s body has different levels of ability to adapt; if anal intercourse remains painful (or even very uncomfortable) then it is probably best avoided – remember, there are still many other ways to stimulate and enjoy the anal area without full intercourse.
Though it is always wise to practice the safest sex possible, this is especially true with anal intercourse. The lining of the rectum is very thin, and can rip if there is too much stress put on it. By wearing condoms, you can greatly reduce your and your partner’s chances of transmitting most STDs.
Foreplay is a fundamental part of the whole lovemaking experience. Most men and women experienced in sex will agree that the best sexual encounters should include long and sensual foreplay. A big part of the fun on any trip is the journey to get there – do yourself a favor and don’t miss out on it. A more attentive form of foreplay will bring increased pleasure to both partners, and make any sexual experience more satisfying.
Both partners need a little extra spice to get fully aroused and achieve maximum pleasure. The man may need to prolong foreplay to get an erection and the women will usually need the same to become properly lubricated. Unless you are both just wanting a ‘quickie’, there is no such thing as spending too much time on foreplay. The trick is to start intercourse when both partners are fully aroused and having a hard time (pun intended) controlling their desires from foreplay.
Foreplay includes a range of activities such as undressing, kissing, petting and oral sex; but you can add your own thoughts to the list. Sensitive foreplay is so important to good sex because it will help both partners enjoy sexual intercourse more, and it will especially help women reach orgasm more often. Most woman need prolonged stimulation in order to reach complete arousal, and foreplay will provide them with the required encouragement.
There is no such thing as the definitive way to foreplay; it is not about pressing the ‘right buttons’ in any pre-determined order (unless after trying everything out you find that is what you both like). It is about understanding what makes your partner tick and supplying those things that make the experience exceptionally pleasurable. There are many ways to give your partner extreme pleasure, and it all begins in the brain. Compliment their appearance or other attributes, especially if they have a low confidence level; show them that you care about them and what they enjoy.
Creating the right environment for sexual intercourse is all about paying attention to the details, which is especially important at mature stages in the relationship. For example, make sure the room is warm, the lighting subdued and that the appropriate music is playing. Once the mood is right, take the time to undress each other slowly, because the act of removing your partner’s clothes can be an important part of successful foreplay. Many find that undressing increases the eroticism – stimulating and intensifying the feeling.
During foreplay, go slow; begin by kissing and caressing. A kiss is usually the first physical expression of love and desire, but it is also often forgotten during sexual intercourse. During intercourse, kiss the different parts of your partner’s body, and don’t be restricted solely to the mouth. Many women complain that their partner doesn’t kiss long enough and rushes the movement directly to the genital area. Don’t be shy to experiment on every part of the body (for example, many women enjoy particular kissing and nibbling attention to the neck and shoulders) – and remember to prolong the foreplay with more kissing and caressing.
Another reason foreplay is important is for the learning experience. Foreplay is the perfect time to spend time understanding what your partner likes because without that, you will never understand what they really need to be fully stimulated. Don’t be shy; ask for feedback and also give your own. Both partners gain from good communication during foreplay and lovemaking. If words fail you, either SHOW or GUIDE your partner in the direction you want, and encourage them to do the same.
Remember that only by communication can we understand what is required to improve – and that practice makes perfect!
It is a fact that abstinence is likely the only 100% effective way to avoid unwanted pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Diseases/Infections (STDs/STIs). However, with a little bit of planning and care, it is quite possible to minimise those risks to an acceptable level (assuming you don’t want to be celibate for the rest of your life)!
The understanding of the meaning of Safe Sex is the responsibility of all parties involved, and that knowledge and practice are the best tools to making sex fun, positive and safe. Use protection, such as a condom, every time and you will be much less likely to have a problem.
Performing safe sex is recommended whenever possible, but we can not stress enough the importance of practicing it when with a new partner.
- Use latex condoms for vaginal, anal or oral (fellatio) sex.
- Since no birth control method is bullet-proof, a condom is great backup to another primary method (and protects from STDs/STIs).
- Condoms are a great way to keep toys clean for multi-hole penetration.
- Using a latex glove for finger penetration prevents cuts from fingernails.
- Using dental dams for oral (cunnilingus) sex can prevent fluid transfer from a cut lip or gum.
- ONLY use water-based lubricants with latex as oil based products destroy it.
In one recent U.S. study* about one-half of the sexually experienced teenagers had failed to use a condom the last time they had intercourse. So for everyone bumping and grinding and forgetting to wrap it up, this next section is a taste of reality that can be easy to forget about until it happens to you!
Sexually Transmitted Diseases/Infections
The sobering fact is that STDs/STIs affect at least 40 million people around the world every year.
AIDS / HIV
We will begin by looking at the AIDS epidemic. In 1997 2.3 million people were estimated to have died worldwide from the disease. Though that number may be coming down in western countries, the number of people contracting the disease is certainly going up. And over the last twenty or so years over half a million people have died in the USA from AIDS, and it still registers as the primary killer of people ages 25-44. What is the most scary part of this epidemic in North America is the fact that the number of HIV-positive (the virus that causes AIDS) teenagers doubles every 14 months.
Q: What is driving these seemingly out of control numbers?
A: Up to 80% of infected Americans don’t know that they are carrying the virus.
HIV is the virus that causes AIDS and is spread when semen, vaginal fluid or blood passes from an HIV positive person into the bloodstream of another person. To enter the bloodstream, the virus must enter through a break in the skin or tissue in the mouth, vagina or rectum … or enter the tip of the penis. The virus then breaks down our immune systems that fight off infection and other illnesses. These normally fairly harmless bacterial or viral contagions become serious, or even deadly, when the immune system doesn’t work to fight them off.
The World Health Organization says that in the first five years of the new century, half of all new infections world-wide will occur between the ages 15-19, and the fastest growing infection rates are among young women. This means that this issue is most pressing for our young people. We can no longer afford to not talk about it, or not educate our children about sex and their responsibilities.
The fact that AIDS and HIV are so dangerous should not reduce our concern over other types of STDs/STIs. Left untreated, they can cause infertility, cancer, birth defects and miscarriages – even death. That being said, with the amount of treatments available and easily accessible, Americans still suffer 10 to 50 times more often than people in other developed countries. This highlights the alarming lack of knowledge within the general population and the need for greater dissemination of preventative methods and awareness of the risks.
To further examine this problem in the US and Canada, it is astounding that sexually transmitted diseases are diagnosed 12 million times a year in the United States – including 3 million cases among teenagers. However, even in light of massive empirical evidence demonstrating that there is a major problem, the U.S. spends just $1 to prevent sexually transmitted illnesses for every $43 spent treating them! Gonorrhea strikes 150 times per 100,000 Americans vs. just 3 times Swedish and 18 times for Canadians.
There is also strong evidence that sexually transmitted diseases greatly increase the risk of sexual transmission of HIV.
Click to learn more about other STDs/STIs.
What about Oral Sex?
Is oral sex safe? Well, yes and no. That is certainly not to say that there are no risks, though unprotected oral sex is generally considered less risky then unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Since the lining of the mouth is less permeable than the lining of the lower orifices, there is a less likely chance of getting a small tear from the activity. That being said, if a cut is already there (e.g. cut during flossing), then it can be equally dangerous.
To minimize your risk while engaging in oral sex follow some suggestions for experimenting with at least new partners:
- Use condoms or dental dams whenever possible
- If you decide to roll the dice on the first tip, avoid ejaculating in the mouth
- If you see symptoms that are suspicious of STDs/STIs, put the fantasy on hold until a doctor clears it
- Floss and brush regularly – but not right before oral sex
- Above all, get tested and know your status, so that you can help protect others
Remember that behind every unwanted pregnancy or STD/STI infection, is a person thinking it wouldn’t happen to them. Don’t you be a victim too!
Vaginal intercourse is more commonly known as sex or coitus in Latin. It is the act of inserting the penis into the vagina, and is one of the most pleasurable experiences that two people can share. This article only covers the basics in what you need to know, make sure to visit the rest of the site for more advanced techniques.
The first time having sexual intercourse, for many people, is never what they expect. It is never as fulfilling or beautiful as fantasized about or seen in media. Your first time can be a very intimate experience if taken slowly, but do not expect it to be the best sex you will ever have. For women, their first couple of times will be painful and the man needs to take extra special care in going slow and listening to her needs. From the other point of view, many men suffer from a performance anxiety their first time as a result of all this pressure to knock her boots off. If this happens, return back to foreplay, do not let it bother or stop you as it is natural. When the time is right, everything will happen, so be supportive of each other.
First time sexual encounters are usually fumbling, learning experiences, where both people are just starting to understand their partners body and how to make that person satisfied sexually. For more detailed information on your first time, make sure to check out the first time for her and first time for him articles.
Sex is all about trying to stimulate the sensitive areas of the vagina and penis, how you move should depend on your preferences and the position. Some people enjoy slowly rocking together, others enjoy quick shallow strokes, and yet others love nothing more then the sensation of deep penetration. There is no right or wrong way, as long as both people are enjoying the experience.
A common misconception is that thrusting faster means better sex. Although most people enjoy going really hard right before climax, this point must be reached before the approach feels good. You should always try new things, keep mixing it up by varying your speed and the depth as you build towards climax.
Finding the rhythm may take some time, as will getting your abs, legs, arms and back into shape. Though most positions don’t require a great deal of strength, they all require endurance, so strengthening your muscles is a good place to start.
Please refer to the sex positions sections for ideas and details.
If you have any comments about this article, or would like to share your personal experiences, please post below!
68: slang for “you do me and I’ll owe you one”
69: mutual oral sex where the partners lie with their genitals facing each others mouths
80: slang for a threesome
active (partner): the aggressive sexual partner
agate: a small penis
analingus: stimulation of the anus with the mouth
angel: male who pays for sexual acts
anus: The exterior opening of the rectum
areola: the dark red or light brown ring of skin surrounding the nipple
around the world: The act of kissing the entire body as a prelude to sex
auntie: an aging male homosexual
auto-fellatio: performing fellatio on ones own penis
auto-sadism: an act whereby one inflicts pain on oneself
auxiliary intercourse: Sexual climax achieved by moving the erect penis back
and forth in the armpit
back scuttle: Perform anal intercourse
bang: have sex with
beef curtain: the vulva
bestiality: sex with animals
beating off: male masturbation
bisexual: a person who is sexually or romantically attracted to both genders
bitch: A mean, irritated, spiritless, snappy, bad mood, or ignorant woman or a feminine male
blow: to perform fellatio on a male
blow job: fellatio performed on a male
blue balls: Severe need for a male to experience sexual orgasm, symptoms include cramps, pain or swelling in the scrotum, and irritability
brownie queen: Passive partner in anal intercourse
bugger: to perform anal sex, often refering to sex with animals or minors
bull dyke: masculine female homosexual
buttocks: the proper term for the bum or backside
castration: removal of the male genitals by a surgical operation
cervix: the entrance to the uterus
cheat: to be unfaithful to one’s regular sex partner
cherry: imaginary unbroken genital seal or object of a virgin woman
circumcision: the surgical procedure of removing the foreskin of the penis
clitoris: the most sensitive external female sex organ
closet queen: a male homosexual who hides his desires for other men
cockteaser: one who excites a male without carrying on to actual sexual relations
coitus: sexual intercourse
coitus in ano: anal intercourse
coitus interruptus: withdrawal of the penis prior to ejaculation
cold: unresponsive to sexual relations
come: to achieve sexual orgasm
condom: a sheath of latex, plastic, or animal skin worn over the penis to prevent sperm ejaculating into the vagina to prevent pregnancy or the transmission of disease
corona: rim of flesh which forms the base of the head of the penis
crabs: lice which infect the pubic area of the body
2) to achieve sexual orgasm
cunnilingus: stimulation of the vulva with the mouth
daily chain: a group sex activity in which there is a linking of several people by oral connections
dental dam: a piece of latex placed over the vulva during cunnilingus to protect both partners from transmission of disease
diaphragm: a dome-shaped cap of rubber designed to cover the cervical opening and prevent sperm from entering the cervix
dildo: an artificial penis
drag queen: male who dresses in female clothing
dry fuck: thrusting penis between partner’s legs, simulates intercourse
dyke: a female homosexual
easy: a person who needs little persuasion to perform sex acts
eat out: to perform oral intercourse on a woman
effeminate: descriptive of a male who acts in a feminine manner
ejaculant: the fluid discharged from the penis or vagina during sexual climax
ejaculation: to discharge from the penis or vagina during sexual climax
erection: description of a hard, often sexually-excited, blood-engourged penis
eunuch: a male who has had his testicles removed
exhibitionist: a person who derives sexual gratification by displaying his/her body to others
faggot: a male homosexual
fairy: a male homosexual
family jewels: the testicles
felching: consuming the resultant semen after anal sex
fellatio: stimulation of the penis with the mouth
fetish: an object or part of the body which is normally considered non-sexual but which arouses erotic feelings such as leather, rubber, hair, feet, panties, etc.
fisting: inserting a whole hand into either the vagina or the anus
flagellation: whipping or beating to sexual orgasm
foreskin: skin covering the head of the penis on uncircumsized men
frottage: sexual pleasure from rubbing against another person
full house: having more than one venereal disease at the same time
gang bang: group sex where one performs sexual intercourse consecutively with many
genitals: the reproductive organs
gerbiling: the activity of inserting a gerbil or similarly-sized rodent into the anus
get it up: to achieve an erect penis
get some: to attain sexual intercourse with someone
get your rocks off: to climax
give head: to perform oral intercourse on a male
glory hole: an opening cut into the partition between two commode stalls in a men’s restroom through which oral intercourse can be performed
go down on: to perform oral intercourse
golden shower: peeing on another for sexual pleasure
goose: to press a finger into the cleavage of the buttocks
grope: to handle another’s genitals
g-string: a small brief worn over the genitals
hand job: masturbation, particularly at the hands of another
hard on: an erect penis
heterosexual: a person who is sexually or romantically attracted only to the opposite sex
homosexual: a person who is sexually or romantically attracted only to the same sex
horny: sexually aroused
horse around: to explore sexually without engaging in intercourse
hot pants: sexually aroused
hung: to describe the size of a large penis and/or scrotum
hustler: prostitute that searches for customers
hymen: any tissue that partly or completely covers the vaginal opening
impotent: male being unable to engage in sexual intercourse for lack of an erect penis
incest: sexual intercourse between closely related persons
IUD: intrauterine device, a method of birth control
jack off: male masturbation
jerk off: male masturbation
john: A male who financially supports another for sex favours, usually referred to as a patron of prostitutes
kicks: sexual thrills
labia: external folds of flesh of the vulva
labia majora: the thicker, outside labia
labia minora: the inner labia
lay: to perform sexual intercourse
lesbian: a homosexual woman
libido: sexual appetite
load: the fluid from a male ejaculation
make out: to succeed sexually
ménage à trois: the act of three people having sexual relations together, a threesome
mary: an effeminate-acting male
masochism: where sexual gratification is acheived by pain
masturbation: manual self-manipulation of genitals
matinee: a sex session in the afternoon
meat: the penis
mons: mound of flesh located above the vagina
mutual masturbation: where partners manipulate each other’s genitals
narcissism: one who is stimulated by one’s own body
neck: to embrace, kiss and fondle
nooner: a sex session in the afternoon
nuts: the testicles
one night stand: a sexual affair between two or more people who will probably never see each other again
oral intercourse: a sexual activity whereby the mouth of one person is used in connection with the sexual organs of another person to produce sexual gratification
orgasm: the peak of sensation during sexual activity during which sexual tension is released
package: the male genitals
pecker: the penis
pederasty: insertion of the penis into the anus
pedophelia: sexual love of a child by an adult
peeping tom: a voyeur
penis: the male sex organ consisting of head, shaft and base
perineum: the area between the anus and the testicles, anus and vagina
pervert: one who receives sexual gratification from exotic sex acts
peter: the penis
phallus: the penis
pickup: stranger who is induced to go elsewhere for sex
piss hard on: an erect penis caused by the need to urinate
pocket pool: masturbating through pants pocket
poke: to engage in sexual intercourse
precum: natural lube which oozes from the penis during and after extreme sexual excit
prostate: walnut-sized organ at base of urethra which eject semen, can be found a short distance up the anus and felt through the rectal wall
prostitution: exchange of money for sexual favors
pushover: easily persuaded to engage in sex
pussy: the vagina
queef: resultant air emitted from a vagina after it has trapped air pockets from intercourse or oral sex
queen: an effeminate male homosexual
quickie: a very brief sex act
rape: sexual activity forced upon someone unwilling or unable to give consent
rectum: tube between the colon and the anus
rim: to use the tongue on the anus
rubber: a condom
safeword: the code phrase or word used in any sort of sexual activity that really means “Stop now.”
sadism: sexual stimulation associated with the desire to inflict pain, physical or mental on another
sadomasochism: both sadism and masochism
scat: sexual acts involving feces
score: to achieve sexual intercourse
scrotum: the pouch or sac with contains the testicles
semen: the fluid produced during ejaculation of the male
shoot: to achieve orgasm
smegma: white matter which collects under the foreskin of the uncircumsized penis
1) anal sex
2) unnatural or deviate sexual intercourse
sperm: a constituent in semen
stallion: a male who posesses a very large penis
stud: a male who is in great demand as a sex partner
suck off: to perform oral intercourse on a male
swinger: one who accepts free love
swinging: consensual sex involving the exchange of marital partners for sexual purposes
swish: a male who behaves in a feminine manner
switch hitter: a bi-sexual
tea room: a public men’s rest room
testicles: the male reproductive glands
tit fuck: intercourse between the female breasts
third sex: homosexuals tounge
tongue: to perform oral intercourse on
toolbox: the male genitals
trade: a passive male prostitute who caters to homosexuals
trick: a sex partner
turn a trick: to take on a sex partner for money
urethra: duct which carries urine in both men and women and semen in men
urogenital: referring collectively to the urine/sex organs of males or females
urolagnia: sexual pleasure from watching another drink urine
vacuum cleaner: one who applies great suction during oral sex
vagina: orifice of female sex organs, this is what harbors and takes the penis in during sexual intercourse, it extents up and back from the labia and ends inside at the cervix
vanilla sex: any non-exotic sex acts
vibrator: an electrically driven machine that vibrates for use in sexual acts
virility: the sexual power and capacity of a male lover
voyeur: one who gains sexual satisfaction from watching others undressing or engaged in sexual acts
vulva: collective term referring to a woman’s external genitalia
1) a man with a large penis who is either unaware of his sexual capacity or is unwilling to use it to his benefit
2) the penis
water sports: sex involving urine or urination
wham bam: rapid and hurried sexual activity
wiener: the penis
work off: to masturbate
work up: to create passion and arousal
X: the unknown
XXX: hardcore porno