Letting Her Play With Your Backside
5 Crucial Tips for Letting Your Partner Play With Your Backside
5 Crucial Tips for Letting Your Partner Play With Your Backside
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If you’ve clicked on this article, you’re probably curious about the possibility of your female partner exploring your anus.
Maybe you’re here because she’s already brought it up, and you’re feeling hesitant. Maybe you’re interested in trying it out but aren’t sure what to expect or where to start.
Regardless of what brought you here, being curious about receiving anal play from your female partner doesn’t make you any less of a “man.”
Anal play, when done right and consensually, can be pleasurable for both partners — but atomically speaking, guys do have the pleasure advantage here.
“Men arguably have more pleasure with butt play because men have a prostate — the epicenter of pleasure for men,” explains Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT, certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com.
“There are a lot of dense, rich nerve endings on the rim of the anus and inside the anus,” Skyler explains. “Tickling the prostate indirectly and directly can offer explosive orgasms beyond just penis stimulation.”
To satisfy your curiosity and prepare you for the possibility of anal pleasure from your female partner, we’ve asked a few real folks who were once first-timers to share their best tips for being on the receiving end of anal play. Here’s what you need to know about letting her pleasure your backside.
Tips for Letting Her Play With Your Backside
1.Talk Logistics & Boundaries
Whether it’s just rim jobs or deep penetration, if your partner is bringing the idea of anal play to the table, it’s clear she trusts you enough to have a mature conversation about the possibility of it.
For Mark, 31, the idea initially caught him a bit off guard.
“I was really surprised that this was something my then-girlfriend would be interested in doing,” he admits. “I asked her if I could think it over, but her excitement about doing something like this just to make me feel good made me really think about what was holding me back aside from the stigma of it all.”
Trying any new consensual sex act for the first time together should mean that either partner has the space to say they don’t want to continue at any point, so make sure you both share your concerns and expectations before starting things off.
2. Get Clean
Butt play calls for cleanliness that’s probably above and beyond what you’re used to doing in the shower. The cleaner you are back there, the better you’ll probably feel about exploring anal play with your partner
To make things more fun and take the stress off your butthole being the main attraction, Samantha, 27, says showering with your partner is a good gateway into anal play.
“The first time my boyfriend and I did any type of anal play was in the shower,” she says. “I’d brought it up with him before, and he’d said he was open to it, but we never got around to it. One day we were showering together, and I noticed him washing his butt and asked if I could do it too. Things sort of naturally progressed from there, and now it’s become part of our routine whenever we’re going to do butt stuff.”
Additionally, using an anal douche may be a good way to get some peace of mind if you’re planning to engage in deeper penetration and anxious about leaving a mess behind on a strap-on or dildo.
3. Take Things Slowly
Gender aside, anal play should always be introduced slowly at first. “Go slow and track your body, noticing what you like and don’t,” says Skyler.
Have your partner start with the outside, the rim and the perineum space for indirect prostate play.
“It took a few times of playing with just the outside before my boyfriend and I tried penetration,” says Samantha. “At first, anal play became kind of like foreplay for us, then we started slowly incorporating it during sex — I’d play with just the outside while he was penetrating me, which eventually turned into me penetrating him with my finger.”
4. Use Lots of Lube
Using lube during any anal play is a requirement, not an option.
“Anal lube is thicker than normal lube because the anus does not self-lubricate,” explains Skyler. “This is important to prevent tearing, anal fissures, and of course to enhance pleasure.”
Oil or silicone-based lube works best since these formulas last longer and don’t dry out like water-based lubricants. If you’re using toys, however, it’s important to choose a safe lube with your toy of choice, as some silicone toys can be damaged with certain silicone lube formulas.
5. If It Hurts, Stop
If something hurts during anal play, stop what you’re doing and troubleshoot. Are you using enough lube? Are you penetrating slowly enough? If you’re new to anal penetration, are you using the smallest finger or toy possible?
The anus can easily tear when not penetrated properly, so if you’re still experiencing pain after stopping and reevaluating, it’s time to stop and take a break.
Products for Enjoying Anal Play
Intimate Earth Plush Anal Lube
This long-lasting anal lube provides long-lasting lubrication while still being perfectly safe to use with sex toys. The water and silicone blend allow you to slide and glide. Natural extracts like goji fruit, aloe, and licorice root give this lube a super soft feel, providing lubrication without feeling too heavy or sticky.
$17.49 at AdamEve.com
Lelo Hugo 2
Once your butthole has become acquainted with the magic of anal play, chances are you’ll want to explore more sensations and vibrations up there. The Hugo Lelo 2 is a state-of-the-art prostate massager that can be used for both solo play and by your partner. Featuring 16 different vibration modes, this vibrator features two arms — one for perineum stimulation and the other for penetration. It’s also remote-controlled for ease of use.
$199 at LELO.com
Adam&Eve Booty Camp Training Kit
If you want to ease your way into more penetrative anal play, look no further than this training kit from Adam&Eve. Featuring three different sizes, these butt plugs are made from soft, easy-to-clean silicone, featuring a tapered tip to make penetration easy and more comfortable. They suction to any flat surface, making them a breeze to use solo, too.
$16.49 at AdamEve.com
Strap-On Playset
If your girlfriend wants to try pegging (and you’re up for it, too), this female-friendly strap-on kit is versatile and beginner-friendly. Featuring three peg options for varying experience and comfort levels, this playset provides options for changing things up as you progress. Toys are safe to use with both water and silicone lubricants, too.
$27.49 at AdamEve.com
Never Have I Ever: Gotten PeggedEverything You Need to Know About Butt PlugsNever Have I Ever: Worn a Butt Plug in Public
Source: AskMen
