Kink Slang Terms, Explained
35 Naughty Slang Terms From the World of Kink, Explained
35 Naughty Slang Terms From the World of Kink, Explained
The kink community is no different from other subcultures: They have their own set of words for things.
That’s because of the most distinctive, exciting, and necessary parts of being in a subculture is creating a shared language to use with each other.
Since you and the other members of your group will be discussing things specific to your own interest and experiences, you’ll need special terms to do so. Over time, slang words and neologisms can solidify into near-official terminology.
Plus, because feeling marginalized or ostracized by mainstream society caused kinksters to form their own social spaces over the past few decades, it’s no surprise that they have their own litany of terms to match.
If you’re a curious outsider, or someone who’s just getting into your own experience of kink, you may not know what all these terms mean — so a handy dictionary can be very useful.
This is far from exhaustive, but we think it’s a good start when it comes to understanding some of the terms you’ll see and hear used by kinksters. Whatever your level of interest in kink, once you’ve read these definitions, you’ll understand a sentence like the following one without much difficulty:
“I met this hot rigger at a BDSM munch last week. He’s also into DDLG, but had never explored any CNC scenes. He’s used to a 24/7 dynamic, but he said he’d be open to playing with a D/s newbie like me.”
24/7
Kink / Type
While many kinky Dom/sub relationships confine these power dynamics to the bedroom (or to sex acts generally), in a kink context, 24/7 relationships allow participants to remain in these roles all the time. Thus, in addition to being submissive in bed, a sub may also be submissive when it comes to everyday things like housework or non-sexual interactions with their Dominant partner.
Aftercare
Kink / Action
Because many kinds of kinky sex can be emotionally intense, a recommended practice for those engaging in it is aftercare. This can take many forms: cuddling, talking, offering your scene partner food or water, or otherwise helping them feel emotionally secure. Essentially it’s about remaining present and attentive to their needs rather than physically or emotionally disappearing.
BDSM
Kink / Type
BDSM — which is short for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism — is a kind of umbrella term that covers many different aspects of kink. In the 21st century, the popularity of the 50 Shades of Grey franchise helped bring BDSM further into the mainstream, but it’s still poorly understood by many people. While not all forms of kink fall under BDSM, everything that’s within BDSM could be considered kinky. It involves aspects of role play, power play, impact and sensation play, humiliation play and more. If you see any sex content featuring imagery of handcuffs, whips, blindfolds, leather or PVC bondage gear, it’s likely gesturing towards BDSM.
Blood Play
Kink / Type
There’s no human bodily fluid that isn’t erotic to at least some people, and blood play proves that our blood is no exception. This kink often involves participants cutting the skin in order to bleed, however some may prefer to engage in blood play using language or imagery of blood rather than the real thing.
Brat & Brat-Tamer
Kink / Identity
Brats are typically bottoms who are not straightforwardly submissive — they enjoy being difficult, mischievous or otherwise challenging toward heir Doms/tops and forcing them to use the full extent of their strength or intensity to discipline the brat. Those who enjoy doing this are known as brat-tamers.
CBT
Kink / Action
Not to be confused with another form of CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, in the kink world, CBT is short for cock and ball torture. It can involve lots of different methods, but ultimately it’s about a Dominant inflicting physical punishment on the penis and testicles of a submissive in a consensual context.
CNC
Kink / Type
Although distinctly taboo and rarely discussed in the mainstream, non-consensual encounters are a fetish for a surprisingly large number of people, of all genders and sexual orientations. CNC stands for consensual non-consent, and it’s a term for kinky encounters where participants act out violating scenes or behaviours with partners they’ve pre-established consent and boundaries with.
D/s
Kink / Identity
Two of the letters in the BDSM, D/s stands for Dominant/submissive, with the capitalized ‘D’ and lower-case ‘s’ further indicating the power of each respective role. Simply put, Dominants enjoy being in control during sex, while submissives get off on relinquishing it. These identities can change over time, and some people may enjoy performing both (or neither). D and s are often mapped to which partner is penetrating and which is being penetrated, but not always. Finally, people of any gender can be either Dominant or submissive.
Domme, Pro-Domme & Dominatrix
Kink / Identity
A Domme, also known as a Pro-Domme or a Dominatrix, is a sex worker who provides kink-related services to clients. However, Dommes often do not engage in penetrative sex or oral sex at all; their services are focused on engaging in kink play, with the clients typically as submissives. A client may hire a Domme to inflict physical pain on them, verbally abuse them, or humiliate them; they may or may not have their genitals touched at all, and may well not achieve orgasm during a session.
DDLG
Kink / Type
Short for “Daddy Dom, little girl,” DDLG is a power-play kink that plays with the incest taboo as well as age play themes, where a Dominant takes on a ‘Daddy’ role and a submissive takes on a ‘daughter’ role. Other gendered variants include “Mommy Dom, little girl,” “Mommy Dom, little boy” and “Daddy Dom, little boy.”
Dungeon
Kink / Noun
A dungeon is a space where one or more pro dommes may offer kink services to clients. Dungeons often come with a litany of tools, toys, costumes and contraptions in order to make these clients’ kinky fantasies come true, such as standard BDSM gear, medical fetish implements, costumes for engaging in role-play, and more.
E-Stim
Kink / Type
E-stim, short for electrical stimulation, is a form of sensation play that features electrical devices. Participants may use these to give themselves or others small electric shocks.
Edgeplay
Kink / Type
Not to be confused with edging, edgeplay is an umbrella term for kinds of kink that involve genuine physical danger to the participants — things like auto-erotic asphyxiation, play involving weapons or fire, and more.
Findom
Kink / Type
Findom is short for “financial domination.” It’s a form of D/s play that has become popular in the 21st century as it’s easier than ever to send other people money. Financial dommes may engage in findom remotely with subs over DMs, texts or video calls, berating them and commanding them to send them money.
GGG
Kink / Approach
Short for “Good, Giving and Game,” GGG was coined by the sex writer Dan Savage in his long-running “Savage Love” column. It describes an approach, typically to partnered sex, where people prioritize being good (a skilled lover), giving (a generous lover) and game (open to exploration and experimentation with their partner’s desires and fantasies.
Golden Shower
Kink / Action
A golden shower is a term for the experience of one or more people consensually urinating on someone else. Terms like ‘water sports’ and ‘piss play’ are sometimes used to describe this kink.
Hard Limits & Soft Limits
Kink / Approach
In sex, as in life, things aren’t always black and white. In certain forms of kinky sex where pushing the boundaries may be desired, participants may discuss their limits in terms of “hard” and “soft” ones beforehand — meaning boundaries that can be pushed against in the right circumstances, and ones that are absolutely rock solid and must be respected at all times.
Impact Play
Kink / Type
Impact play is a specific sub-type of sensation play oriented around, well, impact — spanking, slapping, flogging, hitting. Because people who enjoy impact play — whether being the one hit, the one who’s hitting, or both — often enjoy it to extremes, implements like paddles, whips or floggers may be needed so the person striking doesn’t injure themselves.
Munch
Kink / Type
Though the kinky identity may revolve around sex, kinksters are like any person — they’re not having sex 24/7. Munches are a means of meeting up with fellow kinky people from a given area in a distinctly non-sexual setting, often to share a meal — hence the name.
Pegging
Kink / Action
In many ways, pegging — when a man is penetrated by a partner using a strap-on — is a bit of a vanilla move, but given how entrenched ideas of male dominance and penetration are in mainstream sex, anything that subverts those can be considered at least a little bit kinky.
Play
Kink / Noun
In a kink context, “play” simply means engaging in kinky activities, whether or not there’s any genital contact or not. Being spanked is play, drinking someone’s urine is play, verbally humiliating someone is play, having your testicles stepped on is play.
Play Party
Kink / Type
When a group of kinksters meet up to engage in play together, it’s not called an orgy, it’s called a play party.
RACK
Kink / Approach
RACK is short for Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. It’s an approach to kinky sex that recognizes that some kinks are impossible to engage in without any risk whatsoever; RACK, then, is an acknowledgement that if all parties involved are entering into a situation with an awareness of the risks and freely consenting to them, they should be allowed to take on those risks without judgment. RACK may be seen as an inverse viewpoint to SSC (see definition below).
Red/Yellow/Green
Kink / Approach
Red, yellow and green are the traditional colors of the traffic stoplight; in kink terms, they’re used as a shorthand for communicating consent and boundaries during play. One participant (often the Dominant in D/s scenes, but not always) may ask another for a color; a response of ‘green’ means everything is good and can continue; ‘yellow’ means slow down, lessen the intensity and check in, and ‘red’ means stop the scene immediately.
Rigger & Rope Bunny
Kink / Identity
A rigger is someone who is skilled in the art of rope bondage, meaning they tie their play partners up, sometimes in extremely complex ways. Those who enjoy being tied up by riggers are known as rope bunnies. For some, being tied up offers a way to engage in bondage-themed penetrative sex; for others, simply getting tied up might be the end goal itself.
Roman Shower
Kink / Action
A Roman shower is a kinkier and more taboo version of a golden shower — it’s when one or more people vomit on someone, rather than urinating on them.
Safeword
Kink / Type
A safeword is a word that participants in a scene agree to beforehand as meaning that the scene should end immediately. This is particularly important in D/s play that explores consent boundaries, as words like “stop,” “no,” or “don’t” may be agreed not to carry the same weight. Safewords are often chosen to be words that would not otherwise arise in a sexual context, like “pineapple” or “jalapeno.” In some scenarios, a safe gesture may be preferable, as the sub may not always be able to communicate verbally.
Scene
Kink / Type
Because kinky goings-on don’t always look like the cis-hetero mainstream view of sex with a penis going into a vagina, the kink community often uses the term ‘scene’ to describe instances of two or more people engaging in some form of play together, whether it’s role play, sensation play, or any other kind. Before the scene, the people involved might discuss what they’re looking for, as well as boundaries or limits, health information and more.
Sensation Play
Kink / Type
Sensation play is an umbrella term for a broad variety of kinky acts, some of which may not seem especially sexual. Essentially it’s about creating distinct and powerful physical sensations, and everything from spanking to wax play to temperature play to being tickled with a feather duster can fall under the scope of sensation play.
Sounding
Kink / Action
Sounding is the act of penis-havers having their urethras penetrated. This can be quite dangerous, as pressing too-wide objects too far into the urethra can damage it.
Sploshing
Kink / Action
Sploshing is a kink that involves food play — smushing food items with one’s body or otherwise rubbing and smearing food on oneself or a partner. A popular form of sploshing involves women using their buttocks to smush cakes.
SSC
Kink / Approach
SSC is short for “Safe, Sane and Consensual.” It’s a mindset regarding kink that emerged in the late 20th century to differentiate extreme-seeming kinky sex from forms of sexual abuse that a non-kinky person might not recognize. If the play is ultimately safe, even if it seems painful or dangerous; if the play is happening between people who are not under external influence; and if the play is happening between people who freely consent, then there’s nothing wrong with it. However, kinksters who take issue with the focus on safety may prefer the RACK approach.
Switch
Kink / Identity
When it comes to gay sex slang, a switch is someone who’s comfortable acting as both a top and a bottom. In kink terms, however, a switch is a person who identifies not as a Dom or a sub, but as being capable of filling both roles — hence they can ‘switch’ between the two.
Unicorn
Kink / Identity
A unicorn is a person (typically a bisexual woman) who joins adventurous straight couples for threesomes. The name is derived from the fact that finding such a person is no small feat, as they can seem quite rare — like a mythical unicorn.
Vanilla
Kink / Type
What’s the opposite of kinky? Well, it’s vanilla, of course! So named for the flavor of ice cream, which is considered boring, safe and uncontroversial, ‘vanilla sex’ may be seen as slightly derogatory, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not having particularly adventurous sexual tastes — so long as you don’t judge people who do!
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Source: AskMen