How To Get The Best Blowjob Ever
5 Ways to Enjoy the Best Oral Experience of Your Life
5 Ways to Enjoy the Best Oral Experience of Your Life
I love oral sex. I love giving head. Adore it. It’s definitely on the list of my top ten activities, probably right after “getting head” and “sleeping.”
Sure, giving or getting a blowjob might just seem like a rote piece of foreplay on the way to your standard P-I-V fornication, but, dear reader, this time — why don’t you give it a chance and take it all the way?
What I love about oral sex is that there are so many ways to give it that little something extra, and I’m not just talking about a finger up the butt (although that’s not out of the question). Because given context, circumstance, and technique… a super-special blowjob isn’t just a great orgasm, but a beloved memory to cherish forever.
Here are five of my favorite ones I’ve ever given — and some tips on how you might have some great ones, too.
How to Get the Best Blowjob
1. Get a Blowjob in Public
Let’s see… I was eighteen and madly in love with this guy I’d been sleeping with since the start of the semester. I was a wee sophomore, but he was a senior and trying to cross off items on his sex bucket list before he graduated.
When he suggested hooking up in the stacks, I eagerly said yes. That evening, we innocently traipsed into the fanciest main library on campus and took the elevator up to the seventh floor. Not ones to be easily dissuaded from sexin’, we hurried past the study carrels full of miserable-looking grad students and found a nice private nook with a window that had a view of the buildings across the street.
Unfortunately, he forgot the condom, but I’m never one to waste an opportunity, so I cheerfully dropped to my knees and… well, you know the rest. I’m not sure what was more fun — worrying we’d get caught, or knowing I blew his mind in a literal cathedral of knowledge.
Tip: Chances are your boo will be as into semi-public sex as you are… bring it up, gauge the interest, and unless you’re really into exhibitionism, start out with a shadowy corner. Also, there can be legal repercussions if someone catches you, so be careful! Plus, here’s a situation where if she’s a spitter, it proves more useful to swallow. (I always swallow.)
2. Get a Two-Person Blowjob
When I was in college (I was a lot of fun in college) I had a longstanding sexy fantasy of going down on a guy with a friend of mine. We’d planned it out and everything; all that was left was a willing partner.
One fateful night, a few drinks deep, the opportunity presented itself in the form of a beautiful blond stranger… Some meaningful eye contact, a few coy phrases, and well-timed nods later, his dong was ours to share, and it was awesome.
There’s nothing quite like the look on a guy’s face when he realizes there’s not one but two skillful tongues working their way up and down his shaft… and making eye contact with a pal over a hot guy’s schlong isn’t bad, either. Use the buddy system: it’s dangerous to go alone!
Tip: Here’s a scenario where it’s best to have the BJ-givers on board with the idea long in advance to spare any last-minute drama. No one, believe it or not, really enjoys a surprise threesome — but you’d be surprised how many people are down with being the sexy third friend once you gently introduce the idea to them. Have a few drinks together, relax and let the magic happen.
3. Get a High Blowjob
A confession: I’m not very good at deepthroating. I am a small person, and that doesn’t usually work in my favor when I’m trying to take a big ol’ cock.
Enter the blessed remedy: a fat joint. Blowjobs on weed are amazing. I can’t speak for the specific effects it has on my dude, but I know that a little bit of pot goes a long way in making you feel good all over, not to mention wanting to fuck like bunnies.
It also has the happy effect of relaxing my muscles — goodbye, gag reflex! — so where too much booze makes me want to puke, a sweet li’l spliff just makes me ready for head.
Tip: AskMen doesn’t advocate for breaking the law, so make sure you do this in a legal way.
4. Get a Blowjob in Bondage
Sure, your girlfriend probably told you about handcuffs after she read 50 Shades of Grey, but my bet is that she’s been the one restrained, not you. Am I right, gents?
Well, bondage can go both ways, so listen to me: Let your girl tie you up before she gives you head. This is one of my favorite ways to take a blowjob from ordinary to extraordinary — not that my blowjobs are anything less than exceptional, but I digress.
I like to tie up my guy with my favorite restraint of choice, bondage rope — handcuffs work too, if you like the pinch — and love to watch him squirm under my cheerful ministrations. He can look, but he can’t touch! Giving up control and succumbing to sensation can be really, really, hot — and, bonus, his hands aren’t free to push down on my head. Nobody likes that.
Tip: It might feel like you’re relinquishing control when you let your partner tie you up… but shhh, that’s the point! You’ll like it, I promise. And if you’ve never done it before, don’t mess around with rope… just get some quick-release handcuffs or bondage tape, and always have a safe word. Enjoy!
5. Get a Blowjob as Celebration
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, the most memorable blowjobs aren’t the ones that we can plan.
They’re the blowjobs you give right before he gets a phone call telling him he got the job (actually happened). They’re the blowjobs you give on his birthday (also actually happened, several times). They’re the blowjobs you give on the day he finds he’s going to finally have a son (hasn’t happened yet, but I’m hoping it will someday).
They are, in short, blowjobs of triumph and celebration, and we should all be so glad to give or get one.
Tip: I have no tips for this, except to say that it may be worth cultivating a particular relationship with someone you respect and care about, such that you feel comfortable saying to them — whether it’s after receiving a promotion, crushing that presentation, or any other accomplishment — “I am proud and triumphant and I would like to celebrate this moment with you, a person I respect and admire. Will you give me head?”
Blowjob Toys to Try
Of course, IRL blowjobs aren’t always easy to come by. If your partner isn’t crazy about giving head, or you’re single, it’s possible to replicate the experience somewhat with sex toys. Here are some strong options to try out when it comes to BJ toys:
Autoblow AI+
Though it uses a plug and cord instead of batteries, the Autoblow AI+ uses that in order to be more powerful than the competition. The toy then delivers a blowjob that attempts to mimic the real thing — you don’t have to move your hands at all, the machine does all the work. It boasts nine modes, programmed off real BJs from actual porn videos.
$199.95 at Autoblow.com
Fleshlight Turbo Thrust Blue Ice
If you’re less concerned with whether your hands are moving or not than what the toy feels like on your genitals, this toy might be for you. The Fleshlight Turbo Thrust features a three-part structure to mimic the feeling of lips, mouth and throat that users say is a strong contender when compared to the real thing.
$69.95 at Fleshlight.com
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Source: AskMen