How to Avoid Sexual Boredom
5 Ways to Keep Things Exciting and Spicy in the Bedroom
5 Ways to Keep Things Exciting and Spicy in the Bedroom
It’s no secret that sex can feel great, both physically and emotionally. Even a few minutes of really good sex can make a person’s day, their week, maybe even their whole month.
But because part of what’s exciting about sex is novelty, sometimes plateaus set in when you’re sleeping with only one person over and over, as so many people in monogamous relationships do.
After a while together, you may feel like you’ve covered all the bases already and are simply going through the motions. After all, how many different ways to have sex are there?
But even if you feel like you’ve already done everything short of swapping partners — from trying advanced sex positions to using every room in your home — there are still some fun things you can do to keep both yourself and your partner excited when it comes to having sex with each other.
So, without further ado, here are five useful ways to keep sexual boredom at bay:
1. Switch Up the Tempo
Speed is a big factor in the sex game. If you’re the penetrating partner and you know not only how to slow down and speed up, but when to do so, you’ll be that much more likely to make your partner orgasm.
Try starting off slow when it comes to penetration, easing your way in. Then, as your partner’s breathing becomes heavier, begin to pick up speed, eventually penetrating them deeply and more quickly.
Then, ask them what they want you to do. Try doing it at that tempo for a little while, but then change tempos again.
See the frustration on your partner’s face as you slowly tease them by bringing them to the brink of an orgasm and then switching gears can be a lot of fun — particularly if your relationship has any sexual power play dynamics.
2. Change Up the Foreplay
Too many couples start their sex play the same way — all the time. You both lie in bed, one of you goes down on the other, then you switch for a bit, then you engage in penetrative intercourse in one of your favorite positions.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that series of steps, but if it’s the same thing every time, it’s going to get boring no matter what. If you want to keep the spark alive, it’s time to add some elements of surprise to the mix, and one great place to do that is with some naughty foreplay.
Foreplay can involve anything from sexual conversation to dancing. You can kiss your partner’s mouth or run your tongue up their back. You can dry-hump for hours or use your hands on each other. You can run ice cubes around each other’s nipples or engage in mutual masturbation.
Ultimately, there are no rules to foreplay when the goal is to avoid sexual boredom — whatever gets you both in the mood for sex is fine. There is no surefire system when it comes to exciting your partner.
3. Alter the Ambiance
Don’t be afraid to have sex in different locations. If you and your partner don’t enjoy having sex outdoors or in unfamiliar places, at least opt to have sex in different rooms of your home. The dining room table isn’t just for eating food, if you catch my drift.
Lighting can also add a little something to the sex. From candles to red lights, colors and mood lighting can enhance your appearance and may even be conducive to living out some fantasies.
4. Incorporate Props
While music, lighting and different locations can all add their own intoxicating spins to sex, using sex toys can also be super helpful, especially for straight couples where the female partner struggles to orgasm.
From tethers to vibrators, do some online toy shopping (or even take a visit to your nearest sex shop) and, starting small, begin using such props on each other.
This can feel stressful for some guys, who might conceive of a sex toy as a sort of sexual competitor in the domain of their partner’s pleasure. But reframing it as a tool that can help your partner enjoy sex with you more — and getting comfortable using it on them — can help make it feel like an ally, not an enemy.
5. Talk About Sex
Simply put, talking about sex can be your greatest ally when it comes to turning up the heat in the bedroom.
Tackling the subject of sex with your partner may seem awkward if it’s not something you’re used to, but if you want to address your sexual boredom now rather than down the road via an affair, a breakup or sex therapy, it’s a must.
It’s also something that’s less scary (and hotter) than you’re worrying it might be. Try filling out a Yes/No/Maybe list together. You may discover that your partner fantasizes about bringing a third into bed, watching porn with you or even trying taboo sexual things you were sure they’d never be into.
There are plenty of ways to ensure that a long-term sexual relationship doesn’t translate into something commonplace. At the end of the day, creativity and spontaneity are your allies when it comes to sex, so use them wisely.
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Source: AskMen
