How to Overcome Porn Addiction: Expert Tips and Strategies
Is ‘Porn Addiction’ Real? Here’s What Experts Think & How to Tell If You Have It
Is ‘Porn Addiction’ Real? Here’s What Experts Think & How to Tell If You Have It
Streaming porn is a true double-edged sword.
For the past 15 years, anyone with a sufficiently strong Internet connection and ability to use a search engine can easily access seemingly infinite amounts of X-rated adult content. If guys in the second half of the 20th century knew about this, they’d be sick with jealousy.
However, the easy availability of all this porn doesn’t come without its downsides.
For one, accessibility for minors who are not yet ready to properly process sexually explicit content like this. And for two, even if they’re of age, the intensity of the pleasure that viewers can derive from porn can, like other extremely exciting sensations, become habit-forming.
In short, regardless of age or sexual experience, people may find it hard to stop watching porn. Which wouldn’t be so bad, maybe, if not for the fact that watching a lot of it may impact their lives (and/or their sexual selves) in unexpected ways.
They may find themselves seeking out more and more intense or hardcore content, spending excessive amounts of money on premium or exclusive porn content, spending excessive amounts of time masturbating to porn, or developing difficulties enjoying non-pornographic erotic stimuli — i.e. sex with another person — aka porn-induced erectile dysfunction.
But are these scenarios really a case of ‘addiction’? And regardless of the terminology, are they serious? And if so, how can they be dealt with? In order to get answers, AskMen spoke to a handful of sex experts. Here’s what they had to say:
Is Porn Addiction a Real Thing?
Anyone who’s even found themselves mindlessly typing in a porn site’s URL in a new browser tab can recognize that porn watching may be at least a little bit habit-forming. And like substance abuse problems, out-of-control porn use can lead to negative real-life consequences. But, as with sex, can one really be ‘addicted’ to porn?
The short answer is no, but the slightly longer answer is more complicated.
“‘Porn addiction’ is not a recognized medical diagnosis by the major psychological and psychiatric associations, and there’s a lot of research suggesting that problematic pornography use doesn’t fit with the addiction model, so I’m very reluctant to refer to this as an ‘addiction,’” says Justin Lehmiller, scientific advisor at Arcwave. “That said, when porn use feels ‘out of control,’ there can potentially be a few things going on here.”
“For example,” he notes, “it can be part of an impulse control disorder, or a symptom of an underlying mood or anxiety disorder wherein porn use becomes a way of regulating mood.”
In short, if you have other aspects of your psyche that are predisposing you to compulsive behavior, porn may be playing a part in that without it being the central motivating factor.
Feeling like you’re addicted to porn “can also potentially be a sign of a moral conflict surrounding one’s sexual behavior,” Lehmiller says.
“Some people who use porn at low levels report feeling ‘addicted’ to it even though they’re using it far less than average, because porn use — any porn use — is incongruent with their moral values,” he notes.
And while experts may say it’s not an addiction, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have anything in common with addictions,” says Sasha Andrews, sex expert at HeraHaven.ai.
“While porn addiction isn’t an official term, excessively watching porn does share some of the same traits as behavioural addictions,” Andrews explains. “For example, those with behavioural addictions engage in a particular activity despite the consequences, are often not in control of the behaviour and the behaviour significantly interferes with their daily life and responsibilities. This can all be said for those who watch too much porn as well.”
“I see multiple perspectives,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the @SexWithDrJess podcast. “On one hand, porn addiction isn’t a formal diagnosis, and sex addiction was rejected by the APA and not included in the latest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.”
Nonetheless, because of the moral-conflict factor that Lehmiller noted, the issue of ‘porn addiction, O’Reilly says, can be a money-maker.
“‘Porn addiction’ is also a powerful industry that can be predatory, stigmatizing and scapegoat porn when it’s a symptom of an issue rather than the cause of it,” O’Reilly says. “Porn addiction has a history of being invoked as an excuse (or reason) for cheating, as well as being blamed for other avoidant behaviours without evidence of correlation or causation.”
So, she says, calling it an addiction may not only be inaccurate, but it can also lead to people taking advantage of those struggling with sex-negative approaches.
On the flip side, O’Reilly notes, calling it “porn addiction” may lend some legitimacy to the real feelings of struggle that some porn users have when they struggle to curb their habits — legitimacy that “compulsive sexual behavior disorder” or “problematic porn use” might not convey for some.
“It’s also worth noting that compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD) is among the new diagnoses included in the World Health Organization’s 11th Revision of its International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11),” says O’Reilly. “It was first included in the ‘Impulse Control Disorders’ section as opposed to alongside other addictions like substance abuse disorders.”
This recent recognition, she says, “alongside new research that considers problematic porn use as ‘one of the most common manifestations of CSBD’ may indicate that the narrative of ‘porn addiction doesn’t exist’ may be shifting.”
Negative Effects of Watching Too Much Porn
Though watching lots of porn may not come with the risk of losing lots of money, like gambling, or come with the risk of STIs or pregnancy, like sex, engaging in this kind of behavior still comes with some real-world risks.
“When porn use takes the form of a true compulsion, it can cause serious psychological distress and impairment in daily life,” says Lehmiller. “Obsessive thoughts may make it hard to concentrate, the compulsive behaviors may take up many hours of the day, […], and it can lead people to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse.”
“Some people experience shame when they feel drawn to porn and consume it often,” says O’Reilly. “But this doesn’t mean that watching porn is inherently shameful (there are documented benefits to watching porn), but simply that shame has been attached to porn viewing via a series of factors (e.g. upbringing, sociocultural messages, partnered expectations).”
In addition to time wasted, and feelings of shame, excessive porn watching may also have impacts on one’s sex life and love life.
“One of the biggest risks of watching too much porn is that someone can become desensitized and therefore need more explicit content in order to feel the same level of arousal,” says Andrews. “This itself can distort someone’s perceptions of real-life sex and relationships, and it can have a direct impact on libido, leading to physical sexual dysfunction such as difficulty maintaining arousal or delayed ejaculation — especially during real-life encounters.”
In short, your brain might find itself saying, “This real-live person is less arousing for me than watching porn.”
Unsurprisingly, then, too much porn “can also impact relationships, putting a strain on them as a result of decreased intimacy and feelings of betrayal between partners,” Andrews says. “Those who excessively watch porn may feel guilt, shame or even confusion and the other partner can feel isolated, unwanted and embarrassed — all of which can worsen mental health concerns.”
How to Tell If Your Porn Use Is Excessive
“If you feel as though your porn use is out of control, it’s causing psychological distress, and/or it’s leading to impairments in everyday life, there’s an issue to be attended to here,” says Lehmiller.
“If porn use is interfering in your daily life (e.g. ability to work, go to school, engage in social ties), this may cause distress and be a sign of problematic use,” O’Reilly agrees.
However, she notes, “most people who consume porn do not find that it interferes in their daily life.”
That’s not just conjecture. O’Reilly notes that a recent study on problematic porn use estimated that between 3% and 17% of the studied population’s habits might qualify, a relatively small fraction of the estimated 70% to 94% of adults who watch porn.
However, even 3% of the adult population is still a large group of people. If you’re reading this article out of concern regarding your own porn-watching habits, it’s possible that you’re one of them.
“In terms of measures of problematic porn use, there are psychometric measures that have been validated,” she says.
According to O’Reilly, consider these measures when you:
Experience psychological distress and withdrawal symptoms without pornHave been unsuccessful in stopping porn useValue porn as important to your life (salience)Use porn to reduce negative emotions
Beyond using a checklist, you may need to engage in some self-reflection to conclude whether your porn-watching is genuinely problematic.
“This ultimately requires a level of self-awareness,” says Andrews. “Perhaps you spend a huge amount of time watching porn and this is having an impact on your work, social life or relationships? Or maybe you’ve tried to reduce the amount of porn you watch and struggle with cravings? Alternatively, you might continue to engage in watching porn despite the negative consequences — or you might not realize them at all. It may be that you are using porn to deal with negative emotions. These are all examples of having an unhealthy relationship with porn.”
Addressing Unhealthy Relationships to Porn
If you’ve read this far and are feeling like your relationship with porn is indeed problematic, you may be wondering what you can do to cut down on your porn-watching habits — or cut it out entirely.
But the best first move might be to get some help investigating the root of the problem, according to Lehmiller.
“Your best bet is to speak to an AASECT-certified sex therapist for professional help,” he says. “They can help you to determine what’s really going on here and figure out the best course of treatment. They can help discern whether what you’re dealing with is a compulsive disorder, another underlying mental health issue, or a moral conflict.”
“If distress is related to moral disapproval, you may look at messaging related to porn use to consider whether you can reframe how you’re feeling,” says O’Reilly. “If you feel you’re consuming too much porn, you may try cutting back on your own or watching different types of erotica.”
She also notes that outside help could be a big boost in your efforts to come to terms with your porn use.
“You may find that talking to a trusted, supportive partner or friend can help you to let go of some other shame that may also be affecting your behaviour,” O’Reilly says.
If distress and symptoms are interfering with your daily activities, you can seek support from a mental health professional who can use psychometric measures (e.g. the Problematic Pornography Consumption Scale) to assess and consider a treatment plan including talk therapy.
If you don’t have the budget or access to sex therapy, some other solution-oriented approaches, according to Andrews, include things like trying to spend time engaging in socializing or other activities outside the home, trying to set boundaries for yourself, or installing website blocking software on your digital devices.
“You may also find local support groups beneficial,” Andrews adds. “There are many online resources and networks too if you prefer to stay anonymous.”
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Source: AskMen
