Worst Things Guys Do When They Finish During Sex
4 Things People Seriously Dislike About a Man’s Behavior Post-Orgasm
4 Things People Seriously Dislike About a Man’s Behavior Post-Orgasm
The moment of sexual climax is a complex one, yet simple on the surface. You’re having sex, presumably, because it feels good. You orgasm, which is inarguably one of the best feelings there is. What’s not to like?
Unfortunately, the answer is, surprisingly, a fair amount of things. Cumming feels great, but with it being a moment that has certain cultural expectations, it also has the potential to be a weird interaction between two people.
Of course, the physical reality of ejaculating semen can be unpleasant in a few different ways for the other person. The emotional tenor of the moment can be ruined by a wrong move, and stereotypical male attitudes towards vulnerability can prevent guys from genuinely connecting with their partner, among others.
To get a sense of what you shouldn’t do when you cum with a partner, AskMen spoke to a number of women and gay men about the worst things their partners have done when orgasming. Here’s what they had to say:
Making Weird Sounds/Faces
One common response, though not especially serious, was that lots of guys make concerning, weird noises, or facial expressions at the moment of orgasm. We even have a term for this: the ‘O-face.’
I had a guy that would make an ‘ennnnnnghgggg’ sound when he came, kind of like he was being shocked. Not every time; sometimes it would be extremely subtle. But the first time he must have been saving it, because I had a slight moment of panic, like, ‘What the fuck have I done?’ – Michael, 32
Honestly, though? No harm, no foul. A powerful orgasm will produce a powerful response. You can certainly weird a partner out — particularly a first-time partner — by making weird faces or sounds, but if they knew you better, they might take it as a compliment instead.
Cumming in Your Partner Without Consent
From a practical standpoint, people being penetrated often don’t want your semen to shoot inside them unless requested. They may be concerned about pregnancy, STIs, or they may simply not want a load of fluid in their body without warning! (Especially if it’s oral and they’re not a big fan of the taste.)
Usually, people negotiate condom usage or a form of pull-out method to handle that reality. Sometimes, though, people having sex skip that discussion for one reason or other. But unless they’ve clearly stated that you do, you should never assume you have permission to cum inside someone — regardless of whether it’s anal, vaginal, or oral sex.
During oral, I’ve had guys hold and/or push my head, or like speed up or become more aggressive as they’re about to cum. – Marie-Helene, 27
Doing so without warning is a violation of consent. It’s wrong. Don’t do it!
And when in doubt about where your ejaculate should go, it’s a good idea to simply ask. Framing it as, for instance, “I’m going to cum — where do you want me to shoot it?” can make the question both sexy and practical simultaneously.
Saying Strange Things Immediately Afterward
Making a strange sound as you orgasm is one thing, but ruining the mood with awkward or inappropriate conversation could mean this will end up being the last time you hook up.
One person said that a guy chose the post-orgasm moment to try out a new nickname for her. To no surprise, she hated. Another said that a guy started quoting the Bible at her — the Book of Ecclesiastes. Perhaps the strangest response was a guy who seemed to be freaked out by the idea of his own cum on his hookup’s skin:
One guy asked to cum on my stomach. Immediately after he insisted I must want to take a shower. It was extremely late and I wanted to sleep so I wiped it off with a washcloth and went to bed. In the morning as soon as I woke up he began once again insisting I immediately shower because it must be gross that I had cum on me. I was like, ‘I don’t think cum is gross? I’m waking up. And I’m really hungry. So, I’m going to go eat something first.’ I also already washed the cum off me with a washcloth. It was the weirdest thing. He kept insisting that I was unclean because he had cum on me. – Amanda, 35
Ending the Sex Directly After Finishing
By far the most common response when polling people for this piece? Men assuming the sex was simply over as soon as they’d orgasmed. This response took a number of forms, including guys actively pulling away, simply falling asleep, or just seeming to have no response whatsoever.
Sometimes guys quiet themselves and pull away after cumming. I think it’s a shame response—men are taught not to express their emotions and that includes pleasure. I’ve had men literally push me away as they come and it’s awful. – Bonnie, 36
Each of these responses is disquieting or frustrating in its own way, and likely tied to the fact that post-coital moments can feel very vulnerable (especially for the many guys who hate feeling vulnerable). But the underlying idea that sex ends when the guy cums is one that, to this day, still drives women crazy.
It’s not completely unexpected, in part because when you orgasm, your brain is flooded with chemicals like prolactin that induce a powerful relaxation response and feeling of sleepiness. That’s biology at work. Where you get into trouble is knowing this fact full well and still setting sex up so that you cum and your partner doesn’t. That’s just being a dick, not biology.
And whatever you do, don’t ask if your partner is done just because you are. On the surface, this might seem like a gentlemanly question, and much less of a dick move than simply conking out (or putting your clothes on and leaving) as soon as you’ve cum, but there’s a subtle pressure to its delivery.
I hate it when guys ask, ‘Are you done too?’ If you have to ask, then the answer is no! And it puts pressure on the other person to cum, or at least sets up a situation where cumming is the most important part of the interaction. A better question would be, ‘Is there anything I can do for you?’ – Rose, 30
Ultimately, if you’re someone who has trouble staying awake or functioning after orgasm, you need to start orienting your sex sessions around making your partner cum first. This isn’t rocket science — start with lots of kissing, manual and oral stimulation, and treat penetration as dessert rather than the main course.
How to Increase Semen Volume
Semen Retention: How It Works, Its Benefits and Its Challenges
Why Every Guy Should Master Non-Penetrative Sex
Source: AskMen
