As the old saying goes, “Good things come to those who wait.” Especially when that good thing is an orgasm, and your woman is the one doing the waiting.
Edging is the method of bringing yourself (or your partner) to the brink of orgasm, then backing away right before it happens, and repeating the process over and over again until you finally allow it to happen. To what end? Well, according to the first ever study done on women’s pleasure, 65.5% of women report that edging builds longer, more intense orgasms. Knowledge is power, am I right?
Thanks to the good folks at OMGYes, not only do we have access to these types of statistics, but they’ve also built us an entire platform dedicated to spreading the word about what women prefer in bed — with scientific data visualizations of how many women like what and why, video demonstrations by real women who love each technique, and virtual simulations that teach you how to execute each move.
Caveat: Of course, there’s no “one edging trick that pleases all” technique. But there are some interesting insights from the study that can help steer you in the right direction. Here’s what thousands of women had to say about the movements, rhythms, and techniques that they prefer when edging — plus a few important factors to keep in mind when you’re trying it out for the first time.
Make Sure You’re Getting Her Off On The Regular First
It might seem like a no-brainer, but in order to edge your partner successfully, you need to be bringing her to orgasm on a regular basis — and not just every other time, either. Why? Because if she only reaches the big “O” sporadically, using this new method is going to put a whole lot of pressure on her to get there. And nothing kills an orgasm faster than a woman feeling stressed out about whether or not she’s going to have one. “Asking, ‘tell me when you’re close’ can put psychological pressure on the woman, and actually prevent the orgasm,” explains Rob Perkins, co-founder of OMGYes. “It’s like how thinking, ‘I hope I don’t come soon’ can make you come soon. Or thinking, ‘I hope I don’t lose my hard-on’ makes you lose your hard-on.”
Different Women Like Different Things
When it comes to the most pleasurable edging techniques, there are lots of similarities in what women say feels best. But figuring out what edging method is most effective for your partner is going to involve some trial and error. So it’s important that you’re both on the same page about this being a learning process, rather than coming at her with “the move” that’s going to do the trick. In fact, the women who participated in this study made it a point to say that the guy who assumes he has the move usually doesn’t. Even if you’ve had success with edging a partner in the past, don’t expect your new lady to respond the same way.
Talk To Her About Edging First
Imagine if your girl brought you just to the edge of orgasm, then backed away without explaining that there was a greater goal she was trying to get you to. Edging definitely isn’t something you can just try out without having a conversation. “It can piss people off if you edge without saying anything first,” says Rob. “But, it doesn’t have to be awkward, like, ‘I’m going to try something called edging!’ It can be something like, ‘Hey, let’s try getting close and backing off over and over — I heard it can build an even bigger orgasm.'” Get on the same page with your partner about edging before you try this at home, folks. It’s only going to make you more successful in the long run.
Learn How To Bring Her To “The Approach”
The art of edging centers around getting her to the “approach” stage of her orgasm — which is when the orgasm is starting to brew, but isn’t at the point where it’s going to spill over. “Usually, the first few times you try this, people say it helps when she actually says she’s getting close, versus the guy just trying to intuit it,” Rob explains. Once she says this, the key is to not change what you’re doing. There’s an impulse to go faster, or harder, whenever your lady says that what you’re doing feels so good that she’s on the verge of orgasm. But in the approach stage, even the smallest change has a big impact. Changes in movement and rhythm could put her over the edge, or worse, she’ll end up losing it all together. Learning how to pay attention to what you’re doing that’s getting her there — and keeping it consistent until you get to the backoff stage — is key.
Again, what feels best for your partner when it comes to edging is going to vary from person to person. But there are three distinct edging techniques that the women from this study raved about that we’re going to take you through. With all three of these approaches, keep in mind that the lighter the touch, the better. In fact, 70% of women who like edging say lighter touches help to reduce the pressure when climax is near.
This approach is the most time intensive. But the women who favor this technique the most say that it has the biggest payoff, and leads to the most intense orgasms. To try it out, start by bringing her right to the brink of orgasm — then stop touching her down there completely, and wait for her to go back to absolute zero. You’re probably wondering, “What am I supposed to do with all that time?” You can still touch her in other places. Nipple play and caressing her other body parts are ideal ways to pass the time here. But don’t return to the vagina until the orgasm build up is completely gone. Then, start over from the beginning, stopping right before orgasm one more time.
Repeat the process a final time (or a few more times, if that’s what she wants) and allow her to get all the way to orgasm this time. If your partner reaches orgasm easily, this is a great technique to try because you’re backing off completely, so there’s no chance of you pushing her over the edge accidentally. One woman from the study said that by using this method, her partner was able to keep her orgasming during that final time by touching her lightly as it was happening. “The only reason why I’m not still having that orgasm right now is because he stopped touching me,” she says. Definitely something to keep in mind when you’re giving pause edging a try.
Distraction edging is a lot like preventing a sneeze. There’s that same process of buildup, where you know that a big release is coming. But then something happens to distract it. Maybe something falls to the ground and catches you off guard, or someone unexpectedly rounds the corner and almost bumps into you. That sneeze is still in there of course, and it’ll have to come out eventually. But for the time being, your attention is diverted away from it. And when you do finally sneeze, it’s that much bigger than it would have been, since it’s been building up.
Using the distraction method of edging, your goal is to bring your woman to the edge of orgasm that same way — but then create an unexpected, intense sensation elsewhere on her body to bring her away from it. The women from the study described the sensations that work best for this as being sudden bursts that are inconsistent, and that are also far away from the clit. For example, the inside of her thighs, the back of her knees, or anything else she’s a fan of that doesn’t involve her vagina. Once she’s eased away from climax, start to rebuild the orgasm again, until she’s almost there, and repeat the distraction process. This is another technique that works well for women who reach orgasm easily, since the sudden distraction immediately brings the attention away from the buildup of climax and diverts the action to another part of her body.
Unlike the previous two methods, continuous edging still calls for touching the vagina even as your partner is approaching orgasm — just with a focus away from the clit, and on the surrounding areas, so that she’s not actually reaching climax. That being said, this technique works best when there’s a lot of caution and strategic movements involved, as well as constant checking in with your partner to make sure that what you’re doing isn’t going to put her over the edge, but that it’s just enough to keep teasing her.
Once the approaching orgasm fades, return to stimulating the clit, then back away the same as you did before. One woman from the study suggests using very small, light circular movements around the vagina in order to achieve this. “Deliberate circles that are very, very light to the touch followed by bigger circles and then tapping,” she explains, “then moving [your fingers] up and down [vertically] to slow things down. That’s an important aspect to achieve an incredible orgasm. As I’m coming down, do some gentle stroking and avoid the clitoris completely, and let me know by virtue of coming up to the clitoris once again that we’re about to go to for another round.” Of course, that’s just one woman’s preference. But it’s a good jumping off point.
This method feels like less of a stop and start than the other two, and has more fluidity to it. Out of all three techniques, most women from the study preferred continuous edging, because the withholding process is less obvious, but still achieves the intense orgasm that edging brings. If your partner tends to lose orgasms, continuous edging is your best bet, since this technique has less of a hard back off.
A Few Common Challenges
As with learning any new technique, there are some challenges that women from the study reported having when trying to edge successfully. Here are some frequent issues they reported having, plus a few things to try if you run into these difficulties.
1. Passing The Point Of No Return
Hitting the approach of the orgasm without putting your woman over the edge is a delicate balance to strike. Back off too soon, and the edging process won’t be successful. But get her too close, and there’s no stopping it. Honestly, making your woman orgasm isn’t the worst thing — far from it, in fact. But if the two of you really want to nail the edging process, one tip is to try backing off earlier, and if she’s not quite there, go back to the clit briefly before backing off again. You can always give the clit more attention if it needs it, but once you bring her to orgasm, you’ll have to wait to start the whole process over again.
2. Fighting The Urge To Give In
Especially if your partner has never tried edging before, training yourself to not give in to the approaching orgasm can be tough to master, since she’s so used to pushing into climax once she can feel that she’s close. Practice really is key when you’re mastering the art of edging, so don’t let your lady get discouraged, and make sure she knows that you’re happy to keep trying — no matter how many times it might take to get it right.
3. Knowing When To Throw In The Towel
It’s a true fact that some women just can’t rebuild to orgasm, no matter how many times they try to attempt it. Also, some women just straight up don’t like how edging feels, and find it frustrating. There’s no reason to keep trying a technique that’s just not working for her. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the two of you. It just means that it’s time to move on to the next move. And luckily, OMGYes has a ton for the two of you to try out.