I’d been with my partner for 15 years when he asked me to marry him. We also have children together.
Last Christmas, his dad got drunk and had a huge go at me because I stuck up for my son on social media after another mum was horrible about him.
Then, his sister accused me of flirting with her partner because I put a kiss at the end of a text to him. This caused a big problem because I didn’t want his sister at our wedding, but my partner did.
Then, he and his mum had an argument with me about it in front of my daughter.
I then got a nasty text message from his mother and my partner jumped to her defence and had a go at me.
His mum apologised, but I’m not used to this behaviour. I tried to smooth things over for the wedding and said his sister could come for the meal and ceremony, but I didn’t want her staying for the weekend – so my partner wasn’t happy.
The next thing was our son injured his hand while out playing on his birthday and had to go to hospital. My partner’s sister kicked off again because she’d knocked on the door with a birthday card for my son and no one answered. I explained three times that I was at the hospital!
I invited his mum and sister over to try and put my point across. My parents were also there and my mum said she was unhappy at how they were treating me, then my partner’s mum and sister stormed off.
I’ve now cancelled the wedding, as I couldn’t see how it could go on and my parents have lost the venue deposit and we still have to pay for the dress.
My partner said he couldn’t be with me if I don’t speak to his family. I told him he and the children can still see them, but I can’t play happy families.
In my view, he’s chosen them over me and has moved back in with his parents. Am I overreacting? I wasn’t brought up to shout and scream one minute, then be all sweetness and light. What do I do?
I think all of you need to calm down. Talk about things getting blown out of proportion! I think you’ve done the right thing by cancelling the wedding – it’s not the best way to start married life with a family feud.
I think his family is being selfish – this should be about you and your partner, not them. And, although I’m sure your parents had the right intentions, I don’t think they should be interfering either. His sister is overreacting about the text, too.
I feel like someone has to be grown up here and it might have to be you. If you stay with your partner, the majority of the time it’ll just be the two of you and your kids. Yes, there will be the occasional family party – can you go for a couple of hours?
If you can’t, maybe this is the time to throw up your hands and admit you’re not suited – how can you have a future if his family is such a source of angst? It is hard to switch emotions if you think someone is in the wrong. But you can be civil – you don’t have to be friends.
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