Being a bridesmaid should be a big honour, right?
After all, presumably you’ve been chosen because you mean something to the bride, you can be counted on to soothe ruffled feathers and because of your all-round brilliance.
That’s what we used to think, too.
Yet with every bridezilla story we hear, we wonder if certain brides choose their attendants because they in fact wish to ritually humiliate them and make their lives a living nightmare.
But a truly unhinged bridezilla will not just stop at her bridesmaids.
No. That is for mere amateurs. If you want to really earn your bridezilla stripes, you have to ensure all your guests and staff feel uncomfortable.
Just ask these survivors from Bride & Groom Direct who probably wish they’d RSVP’d ‘NO’.
1. Weighty issue
“My sister-in-law asked her bridesmaids (me included) to gain five to ten kilos to make her look better in comparison.
“None of us did it – especially since she outweighed the heaviest of us by about 20 kilos anyway, so I doubt it would have made her look any different.”
2. Size matters
“The bridesmaids had to coordinate their heel heights so they would all appear to be the same height.
“My friend was 5’2″ and the tallest bridesmaid was 5’9”.
“She wanted my friend to wear seven inch stilettos – for an outdoor wedding.”
3. It’s a nice day for a nude wedding
“Went to a nudist wedding – they said before we got there that you didn’t have to worry about being nude so I went fully dressed.
“There was a mix of people and it was pretty odd being stood in a suit next to someone who was completely naked. One of the most uncomfortable moments of my life.”
4. When dog’s aren’t a man’s best friend. And the weather
“I was not the official planner, but oneBridezilla pulled the ‘love card’ and demanded that her fiancé rent a massive equestrian park, with stables, vast fields, riding rings – the whole nine yards.
“The only problem was, a massive rainstorm rolled in, and they only had one small building to cram into.
“Oh, and did I mention her several dogs? They all p****d and s**t inside, all over the velvet carpet; one even s**t while they were walking down the aisle.”
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5. First world problems
“A friend was mad because a few days before her wedding there was a terrible flood in a South American country which somehow ruined her chances of being able to get just the right colour flower for the centrepieces.”
5. False promise
“I was put in a brown bridesmaid dress (BROWN!!!!) after being promised bronze.
“I was the youngest bridesmaid by a mile and at 12 years old, self-confidence is at it’s all time low.
“When I walked down the stairs I was greeted by my mum who simply said ‘you look like you’ve smeared poo all over yourself.'”
7. We don’t even know where to start with this
“One bridezilla’s soon to be in-laws are a pretty large family, but only the guys are allowed to be in the wedding party.
“The women are just supposed to hang out and do nothing while the wedding party parades around town all week.
“Not a huge deal, but still annoying to pay for a trip you can’t even spend with your whole family.
“The bride emailed a dress specification to all the ladies: Gold/taupe family colours only, must wear floor-length dresses, can be shimmery/sparkly/sequinned, no mermaid style, no colour blocking, and try to stay away from lace.
“I should note the strict dress code for these women are not in her wedding party at all, but are guests.”
Engagement and wedding tales