Okay, so the conditions for dorm room sex aren’t optimal. There’s zero privacy, you can’t make too much noise (or, you can, but you’d be an asshole), and your main place to do it is a super uncomfortable bed. But you will have some of the best sex of your life within those utilitarian cinder blocked walls because, freedom. Study up, my friends.
1. MINI FRIDGE MAMBO
Have him sit his ass atop the mini-fridge. (Put a towel down first because it is cold, plus butt on fridge = yuck.) Back yourself onto his lap, giving him an eyeful of your glorious butt as you lower yourself onto him. Ride him via a combination of pure thigh-strength and his hands guiding your hips. Or, you can grab a sturdy chair (see below) to put your hands on for leverage. Yum.
2. CHAIR-Y NICE
College furniture is pretty ugly but, damn, that stuff is sturdy. Grab that standard issue chair and lean over it, holding on to the back. Bend your knee and prop one foot up on the seat. Have him come in from the rear—either entry point is fine, you’re in college, experiment. If you decide to go for the rear-rear door (go slow and use a shit-load of lube, so to speak), that good ol’ sturdy chair will give you something to grab onto when/if you need it.
3. TWIN BED TRYST
Extra skinny twin beds present a unique problem: tons of vertical space, not so much space for rolling around. Go tall with a standing dog/downward dog mashup. Get in downward dog, with your legs spread wider than your yoga instructor would approve. He’ll come in from behind, doing a reacharound for you if he’s a keeper. If you don’t want anyone bearing witness to your unholy yoga, don’t forget to alert your roommate with your prearranged secret “don’t come in, we’re fucking” signal: a sock on the doorknob, a cryptic symbol on your door’s white board, etc…
4. LOFT IN SPACE
Bunk beds: shitty to sleep in, but full of creative sex solutions. Have your partner stand behind you and enter from behind. Normally standing positions can throw people off balance, but using the frame of the bed to brace yourselves, you’ll have a slip-free sex sesh without trying to pretend fitting two bodies on a twin bed is comfortable. Bonus: when you get tired, you can rest your head on the top bunk. Sorry, roomie.
5. DESK-SIDE GET-DOWN
If the constant sound of a bunch of drunk people walking through the hall kills the mood, put on some music loud enough to muffle your sounds but not loud enough to annoy that complain-y person down the hall. Lie flat on the desk, face down with your legs spread. He’ll stand, and enter from behind. If you have a loud-ass vibe that you love, now is the time you can (finally!) fire it up. If he’s especially gifted, he can switch between his thrusts and pressing the vibe against you, at which point you may need to turn the music up even louder.