When in the throes of a heart-rending break-up, it’s impossible to think that you might emerge from the experience a wiser person. However, anything that hurts at least leaves the reminder to not do it again.
A thread along these lines has been started on Reddit , asking commenters to talk about the lessons they learnt from break-ups. We’ve listed the seven most useful below.
As the song Everybody’s Free (to wear Sunscreen) – a break-up fave it turns out – puts it: “Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.” Amen, Baz Luhrmann .
1. Beware of dating a friend who just happens to be of the correct sex for romance with you
Commenter WyYouAlwaysThinkThat’s point was followed up by a number of people. toddsmash added his own story, saying, “While we were great mates, we were completely incompatible as dates.”
2. Don’t idealise your prospective other half
manuayala’s point struck a lot of chords, with Namffohci wisely adding, “When you put people on pedestals, all they can do is look down at you.” Indeed.
3. Don’t be afraid of honest conversations
77remix’s advice incited a slew of comments., including this tear-jerking one from sissy_space_yak: “I think surprise breakups are the most traumatic :(“
4. Carve out time to be with your friends
As commenter Big_Truck says, ” If the relationship ends on a bad note, you have a support structure (friends) as you transition into single life and all of the free time that comes with it.
If all of your friends are shared (not your own), then someone is getting cut out of the social group. Speaking from experience, that’s a bitch.”
Losing your friends as well as your partner – that’s just too, too much.
5. Be sure you have all your stuff moved out before you break the bad news
Good idea from tezoatlipoca, otherwise you might share kwerty_y’s sad fate: “I lost my hot dog costume in my breakup :'(“
6. You do not have to be in a relationship to be happy
Comforting words from tjeco, and another commenter, Tanellthyon added this depressing thought: “You can still be lonely in a relationship, and that’s infinitely worse. Loneliness passes.”
7. You will always heal
An uplifting thought to end upon, from AggressiveSpatula: “You will always heal. No matter how bad it was, no matter how long it takes. It will happen. And usually when you’re looking the other way.”
We’re all gonna be just fine.
Dating, relationships, sex and break-ups