When your heart beats next to miiiiineeee.?
For many people, first-time sex is kinda … meh. Awkward fumbling + potential free-floating anxiety + unbidden thoughts like, OMG! I am having sex right now! = a lower-than-usual chance of actually having an orgasm the first time out. Sorry. #Truth.
However, you can still make it hot, romantic, and fun by:
- Finding a private, safe spot.
- Making sure you’re relaxed and entirely sure you want to go through with it.
- Taking the time to let yourself get fully aroused. (If someone wants to bone you and doesn’t want to wait and help make this happen, lock the gates, sister.)
- Lubing the fuck up. (Even better, squeeze some lube onto his fingers and have him rub it on for you.)
- Having him wear a condom — obv.
- Relax even more. Something weird will happen. There may be a queef, a fart, or your bodies might make weird slappy noises when you’re doin’ it. He may slip out or might be pressing his dick diligently in non-quite-the-right spot. Just laugh and start kissing again, and you’ll be just fine. Stick to basic positions that are comfortable and easy, like:
1. SIDEWAYS SWOON
First time sex is all about connecting in an incredibly intimate way with someone. If you want to really go deep in that direction, try a side-by-side position. You can gaze into each other’s eyes, touch souls and whatnot, plus the angle isn’t known for deep penetration, lowering your chances of receiving a mechanical jackhammer pounding. (Note to men re: the jackhammering — No. Just no.)
2. LOVIN’ SPOONFUL
Simple: He gets in outer spoon position, puts one leg over your body and enters you from behind. In a good relationship, inner spoondom is a great place for feeling like you’re safe and all is right with the world. Take advantage of all that cuddliness to make your first time feel all warm and lovey. You are free to enjoy all the good-feelings of the bonding hormone oxytocin hitting your brain, plus if you’d like, you have a free hand for rubbing yourself at the same time.
3. THE LAP WALTZ
Woman-on-top positions are great for first timers because you get to control how deeply you want to go. Have him sit on a couch (um, maybe put down a towel or something), then kneel over him. One of you can hold onto his penis to guide it as you lower yourself onto him. It’s OK to go as slowly as you want — just makes it hotter. Once aboard, put your hands on his shoulders, and use your legs to push yourself up and down so that you’re riding his penis. Once you get the hang of it, you can gyrate, grind against him or stop for a moment for a long kiss.
4. TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM MISSIONARY
It’s a classic for a reason. For more control, instead of going straight into legs-wide-open missionary, assume the usual position, but curl up your legs in front of you (like a fetus, but, you know, a sexy one.) Your respective body parts will still get where they need to get, but if you need to slow him down, you guide him as you please with your legs.
5. THE FRISKY DOGGY
If losing your V-card is a little overwhelming, what with all the eye gazing and wondering how the hell you’re supposed to be touching him, etc. … go with doggy. All you have to do is get on all fours and experience the feeling of another person inside of you for the first time. If anything feels like it’s too much, just move forward a little bit until you want more. Press your legs together it you want/need shallow penetration and open wider for deeper penetration. Rock your hips a little or don’t — it’s up to you, girlie.