I recently lost my mum and she was my best friend. I haven’t been able to grieve because my mother-in-law now thinks it’s her role to replace her.
She even says to me: “I have adopted your mother’s role.”
I’ve told my husband that she’s driving me mad – she visits us five times a day, every day. It’s getting me down as I feel like we don’t have any family space.
We have a lot to do during the day as my husband works from home and she won’t let him do his job.
I’m expected to sit and chat to her all day, but I don’t feel I should have to do so.
How can I tell her to back off before I end up packing up my stuff and walking out?
Have your say in the comments below
I think you should be careful. I think your mother-in-law is doing that overcompensating thing because she feels really heartbroken for you that you’ve lost your mum and wants to show you that she can be there for you.
You know she’ll never replace your mum – and so does she – but it’s still early days and of course you’re still grieving and want to be given the time and space to do it.
People often don’t know what to do when a friend or loved one has been recently bereaved, and your mother-in-law is doing the wrong things for you, but she doesn’t mean it.
Maybe you resent her a little bit because her presence only highlights the fact that your own mum has gone.
Don’t make any rash emotional decisions – have a gentle word with her or ask your hubby to speak to her and just explain that right now you need some time alone to grieve.
If his mum is disturbing your husband’s work, then it’s up to him to sort it out. You can always go out and grab a coffee or meet a friend.
Get in touch with bereavement charity cruse.org.uk for support and advice.
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