I have a friend who I’ve known for 14 years. At first we were a couple, but now we’re just pals. He has a holiday home that I pay half the bills on because I spend a lot of time there, so it’s only fair.
The trouble is, he never appreciates anything I do and is always finding fault. He also speaks to me like I’m something he’s trodden in.
Five years ago, I looked after him when he had cancer, even though I’m not in the best of health myself. But now he’s got the all-clear from the hospital, I feel it’s time for me to move on and get my life back.
I’m 70 next year and there are things I want to do, but I don’t want people to think I just used him and then dumped him.
Have your say in the comments below
I think it would be very hard for people to accuse you of using him when you’ve cared for him through his diagnosis, treatment and recovery from cancer over the past five years.
If you’ve made your mind up to move on, then you need to have the conversation with him. You may not be a couple now, but in some ways you’re still behaving as one and perhaps that’s where the problem lies.
Maybe you can still be friends, but you need to create some space in order to live your lives independently. As nice as the holiday home arrangement is, maybe you need to give that up.
He may be feeling exactly the same things as you, but doesn’t want to say anything in case he comes across as ungrateful for what you’ve done for him.
Have a chat with him – it doesn’t have to turn into an argument if you don’t want it to.
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