If you found your significant other’s behaviour out-of-character and dubious , would you be tempted to investigate?
Unfortunately, even the most solid of relationships can be tainted by infidelity – and even the most carefree of partners can become suspicious.
When this happens, those who have their suspicions find themselves at a bit of a tricky juncture.
Do you confront your partner, aware they may lie or deflect the questions? Or, do you conduct your own investigation (sometimes also known as ‘snooping’)?
After putting up with her boyfriend’s strange behaviour for quite some time, one woman found herself at such a crossroad.
Taking to Reddit , the woman, known as rampaigin_nation, explained what she’d done in retaliation and asked for advice on her dilemma – and the responses were split.
“I just discovered my long-term boyfriend is on POF”
For the uninitiated, POF is dating site Plenty of Fish – so probably not where you’d want to spot your partner.
“My boyfriend and I have been together for five and a half years now and lived together for four.
“He’s been pretty protective of his phone for a year or two now. As in, he wouldn’t let me look up an address on his phone, or get someone’s contact info, the basic kind of stuff.”
So she decided to see if he had anything to hide.
“Well, he’s asleep right now and I decided to snoop. Turns out my suspicions were right.
“He’s on Plenty Of Fish, a dating website.
“Maybe I’m a little petty, but I changed the ‘About Me’ section, to say how much of an a**hole he is.
“I know it’s kind of a d*** move, but I am beyond p***** right now. He gets up for work in a few hours and I plan on packing my things as soon as he leaves.
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“Any advice would be appreciated.”
When told not to jump the gun and see if he was actually active, rampaigin_nation replied, “It’s very active. He recently paid for a three month subscription.”
Most of the comments were in support of the woman’s actions.
Have your say in the comments below
Other women had been through similar situations, with KinksMcGee saying:
“Something similar happened to me with my ex fiancee of eight years when I found he has Tinder on his phone. Long story short, he’d had a string of online affairs over the last three years of our relationship.
“The best advice I can offer is leave as soon as you get the chance and once your affairs are in order cut contact.”
NightcrawlerTZ added, “Ugh. After the Ashley Madison hack, I looked up email addresses of someone I was involved with.
“Sure enough, his email address was on the leaked list. Along with another ex I was sure had cheated on me. Definitely confront him. You need to lose this guy.”
But others stated it was wrong of the woman to have snooped.
th_cat responded, “Did you confront your boyfriend before you snooped? Yes, it’s very wrong he is hiding things but it’s also wrong to snoop.
“There don’t seem to be any communication skills here.
“Anyway, if your long term boyfriend is on a dating website, at the very least it means he’s testing the waters and it would definitely make me question the relationship if I were in your shoes.”
And crossmr added, “In some places isn’t accessing another person’s accounts without permission like that considered ‘hacking’?
“She could just be opening herself up to legal liability.”
Where do you stand on this?
Dating, relationships and break-ups