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For some reason, so many of us (mistakenly) still believe how often we have sex to be the measure of how successful our sex lives are. In relationships and marriages, we accept that the frequency of sex will decline as time goes on. Yet we still feel ashamed about it and find talking about it with our friends hard, even though they’re probably going through the exact same feelings. But the truth is, for couples who live together there is no “normal” amount of sex to be having.
These people share how often they have sex with their live-in partners, and how this can change over time due to many factors that impact our desires and sexual energy.
1. “My wife and I will sometimes go three weeks without having sex and not even realize it. Other weeks we have sex twice a day. It really varies depending on how busy our days are and what kinds of moods we are in.” [via]
2. “There is no one ‘normal’ and marriage/kids/life can always complicate it, and that’s perfectly normal. We’ve had to go weeks without it depending on what’s going on, to a bunch of times per week. Plus, after you’ve been together a long time, you realize every marriage goes through phases. It’s easy for a 20-year-old to say, ‘The sex is not as much as you’d like so dump them’. For most people though, it’s not that simple. To me, as long as both sides are making an effort to make the other happy and are compromising, that’s the key.” [via]
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3. “My partner and I fall into similar patterns and break them only when one of us becomes aware of it and/or really wants it. I think there is enough communication that it hasn’t ever caused problems, but I’ve wondered how this works for others because sometimes when I realize it’s been two weeks I’ll get a little anxious.” [via]
4. “My wife and I have penetrative sex probably about once a week, but we fool around probably four to four times a week, whether that’s just oral, dirty talk, or a number of other things.” [via]
5. “In my 20s we went at it seven days a week even after living together awhile, and I would sometimes want morning and night. It only really slowed in our 30s after having kids and that’s normal. We still have sex around twice a week, much more if we’re on holiday.” [via]
“We still get our needs met physically”
6. “Depends between one to three times a day, and sometimes two weeks without because the weeks just fly by.” [via]
7. “I’m 27 and have been dating my boyfriend for three and a half years and lived together for two and a half of them. Although my libido is higher than his, we have fallen into a rhythm of having sex maybe once every two to three weeks. I would like it to be more, but stress with work and moving to a new place has been a big factor in this, causing an impact on us getting our freak on.
“There are two things that help. First, we both masturbate on our own whenever we are horny, which often is at different times. So we still get our needs met physically. Second, ironically, we both need physical touch a lot, so we ensure that we are showing our love and affection often through butt slaps as we pass, cuddling, hugging, verbal appreciation, and plenty of kisses. Don’t get me wrong, sex is good. But sometimes we don’t sync up, so you gotta make ends meet (lol).” [via]
8. “My girlfriend and I have been together three years, and have lived together for one. We have sex five days out of the week. We both have really good sex drives and haven’t lost that passion. The key for us is always trying new things and communicating about it.” [via]
9. My fiancé only wants sex once every week or two. We’ve gone three or four weeks before in our two years of living together. I supplement it with masturbating two to three times a week. [via]
10. “For me, it depends on how we feel and how much time we have available/want it. Back when I was in college and moved in with my then girlfriend, it was a lot. But now, my current girlfriend and I alternate between every other day to maybe one a week given how busy we are.” [via]
Source: Mens Health