I’ve been with my boyfriend for four and a half years and we’ve just come back from an amazing two-week holiday in Cape Verde.
I really want our relationship to go further, especially after spending all that time with him.
The only problem is he’s too comfortable living at home with his mum.
I wouldn’t even mind living at his mum’s house with him until we saved up for our own place, but he hasn’t mentioned anything, and I feel like I’m a spare part, hanging around for something that’s never going to happen.
I don’t know how to speak to him about this without him thinking I’m nagging.
In the past year a few of my friends have brought places with partners.
I don’t think having a discussion about your future is nagging.
You’ve been together for nearly five years and, understandably, you want to know where things are heading.
Why not start off by saying you really enjoyed the holiday and it’s made you think about setting up home together and how nice it would be.
Then ask him where he sees it going from here.
You don’t need to give him an ultimatum, but I think you have a right to ask how he sees your relationship going.
Maybe he’ll say he’s not ready to move in yet, but he might agree on a timeframe he is comfortable with.
Then it’s up to you to decide if you’re happy with his response. But don’t be driven by what your friends are doing.
Let them get on with their lives and focus on your own.
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