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When my last article (how to overcome a dysfunctional relationship) went up, I did not expect to receive more than the usual share of feedback. Though my hope was that the topic would prove informative and useful, my assumption was that it was not “sexy” enough to warrant an inordinate reader response.
Boy was I ever wrong. To date, I have yet to generate as much feedback from a single article. The wave of e-mail the week the article went live was so considerable that I felt the need to return with a similar topic. Most of you wrote in to thank me for the article and to my joy, inform me that you had in fact overcome a dysfunctional relationship. There was a sizeable minority of e-mail however, from men who had yet to break the cycle of emotional abuse.
you know who you are
I mention “sizable minority” but we know that there is a vast “silent” majority of men who suffer in silence in the face of emotional abuse. They feel shame, fear, and choose to ignore the abuse and live with it. The fact is that we live in a society where the abuse of men is not a mainstream concern.
But abuse is abuse and as we mobilize to combat it when the victim is a woman, we have to offer the same compassion to men. Perhaps physical abuse is not as prevalent when the perpetrator is female, but my argument is that emotional abuse is. In fact, my theory is that men suffer more from emotional abuse in relationships than women.
A man may be more prone to strike a woman or commit sexual assault on his partner, but as for emotional abuse, I think women have the edge. I have no proof to claim that a female will commit emotional abuse more than a man but my bet is that it is far more common than anyone can imagine at present.
The problem is that we never hear about it. Men are tough, strong and impervious to abuse. Maybe. But why then, do I receive a constant stream of e-mail with regard to emotional abuse? Because like it or not, it is prevalent. The key is to spot it.
Find out if she’s stomping on your ego…